Tuesday, May 1st
Hi!! Today is just a day show today, but we are all still a little insane from the marathon yesterday. I start off by threatening not to take calls today.
1pm: The guys start off somewhat randomly as usual. Brad talks about his former dreams to be the first man on Mars. He has since realized that this is not going to happen. One of many reasons would be that he is 6'6". They realize that they could probably just send his head. Hmm... that sounds like an interesting idea.
So, Ozzfest has been announced to be free this year. The guys are a little bitter when it comes to Ozzy concerts. Both times Ozzy had a concert in Fresno that they promoted, he cancelled the show only an hour before. They had a huge pre-party and had to announce to the drunken fans that the show was cancelled.
The first way you can get free tickets is to buy Ozzy's new cd. Um, that does not imply free. Supposedly, there is a code inside the cd that gives you the online passcode to get tickets. But, you are not even guaranteed tickets by doing this. After this, you will be able to sign yourself up for a lifetime of spam as another option to get tickets.
Brad does play a bit of Ozzy's new song off his computer. Wow, that's the first time we've ever been able to get that to work. Chris actually admits he likes it.
Don Ho died. Sac is able to find Ho's version of "Shock the Monkey" before anyone else. This leads us to start playing ridiculous versions of songs. Oh no, this means Wing once again singing "Back in Black."
Looking for other strange covers, I stumble upon Crispin Glover covering Michael Jackson's "Ben." I'm assuming this is from when he did "Willard." It is soooooo incredibly creepy. I'm having problems with my links, but just look up "Music Video for Ben With Crispin Glover" on Youtube. Wow.
To wrap up the hour, we learn that Chris an expert on duck rape. Uh... that's really weird. He claims this only because he grew up across from a duck pond. Suuuure. So, the reason this comes up, is because an article has come up about the complexities of duck genitals. The scientists are trying to find out why 97% of birds do not have penises, apparently they just touch their special parts.
What's even weirder, is that although ducks mate, female ducks are often raped by stray mallards. But, the female ducks are able to control their fertilization so that the raping ducks are unable to impregnate them.
2pm: Chris is very happy today. He finally saw a hot, well-dressed woman walking down the street near the office. They claim that they have never seen the complete package on Battery. Then, getting coffee, he saw another one, and got really excited.
Brad is excited and nervous because they are having a photo shoot on May 9th. He has been stressing about when he should get his haircut for this, and decided to get it today. Last time, his Supercuts haircut was disappointing, so he went to a traditional barber shop.
The first thing out of the barber's mouth is "my uncle was caught coming out of a whore house in Mexico." Throughout the entire haircut, this barber is telling inane stories. Brad felt tortured, he would have rather had a bad haircut, than to have been through this. He now knows far too much about this man's life.
They start going through other mini-prison sentences that life presents us with. One is being in the backseat of a car filled with people who all know each other much better than you know them. So, you have to sit through all their inside jokes.
Another is when you go to the new girlfriend's family's house for a holiday. You don't really know anyone and you are incredibly nervous. It just lasts forever. Chris says when you are dragged to a concert of a band that you are just not into or actively dislike.
They ask me what this would be for girls. I have to say the gynecologist visit. When they are doing that ever-so-personal exam, they always want to have a conversation. It's just so incredibly awkward. Also, on the medical tip, the dentist. Also another situation where maybe conversation is not entirely appropriate. Chris and Brad think they do it on purpose to torture you.
Alissa emails a great one. Being the designated driver in a car full of drunk people. Ugh, that is the worst. Everything is sooo funny for everyone who is drunk, and you are just becoming increasingly annoyed.
Joshua in Concord had a mini-prison experience with a girl. He was dragged to a Journey/Def Leppard song. And, he could not leave until "Pour Some Sugar On Me." When was that? Obviously, the last encore. Poor Joshua.
Well, we are done for the day. We'll see you tomorrow!! I apologize to my mother, have a good afternoon.
1pm: The guys start off somewhat randomly as usual. Brad talks about his former dreams to be the first man on Mars. He has since realized that this is not going to happen. One of many reasons would be that he is 6'6". They realize that they could probably just send his head. Hmm... that sounds like an interesting idea.
So, Ozzfest has been announced to be free this year. The guys are a little bitter when it comes to Ozzy concerts. Both times Ozzy had a concert in Fresno that they promoted, he cancelled the show only an hour before. They had a huge pre-party and had to announce to the drunken fans that the show was cancelled.
The first way you can get free tickets is to buy Ozzy's new cd. Um, that does not imply free. Supposedly, there is a code inside the cd that gives you the online passcode to get tickets. But, you are not even guaranteed tickets by doing this. After this, you will be able to sign yourself up for a lifetime of spam as another option to get tickets.
Brad does play a bit of Ozzy's new song off his computer. Wow, that's the first time we've ever been able to get that to work. Chris actually admits he likes it.
Don Ho died. Sac is able to find Ho's version of "Shock the Monkey" before anyone else. This leads us to start playing ridiculous versions of songs. Oh no, this means Wing once again singing "Back in Black."
Looking for other strange covers, I stumble upon Crispin Glover covering Michael Jackson's "Ben." I'm assuming this is from when he did "Willard." It is soooooo incredibly creepy. I'm having problems with my links, but just look up "Music Video for Ben With Crispin Glover" on Youtube. Wow.
To wrap up the hour, we learn that Chris an expert on duck rape. Uh... that's really weird. He claims this only because he grew up across from a duck pond. Suuuure. So, the reason this comes up, is because an article has come up about the complexities of duck genitals. The scientists are trying to find out why 97% of birds do not have penises, apparently they just touch their special parts.
What's even weirder, is that although ducks mate, female ducks are often raped by stray mallards. But, the female ducks are able to control their fertilization so that the raping ducks are unable to impregnate them.
2pm: Chris is very happy today. He finally saw a hot, well-dressed woman walking down the street near the office. They claim that they have never seen the complete package on Battery. Then, getting coffee, he saw another one, and got really excited.
Brad is excited and nervous because they are having a photo shoot on May 9th. He has been stressing about when he should get his haircut for this, and decided to get it today. Last time, his Supercuts haircut was disappointing, so he went to a traditional barber shop.
The first thing out of the barber's mouth is "my uncle was caught coming out of a whore house in Mexico." Throughout the entire haircut, this barber is telling inane stories. Brad felt tortured, he would have rather had a bad haircut, than to have been through this. He now knows far too much about this man's life.
They start going through other mini-prison sentences that life presents us with. One is being in the backseat of a car filled with people who all know each other much better than you know them. So, you have to sit through all their inside jokes.
Another is when you go to the new girlfriend's family's house for a holiday. You don't really know anyone and you are incredibly nervous. It just lasts forever. Chris says when you are dragged to a concert of a band that you are just not into or actively dislike.
They ask me what this would be for girls. I have to say the gynecologist visit. When they are doing that ever-so-personal exam, they always want to have a conversation. It's just so incredibly awkward. Also, on the medical tip, the dentist. Also another situation where maybe conversation is not entirely appropriate. Chris and Brad think they do it on purpose to torture you.
Alissa emails a great one. Being the designated driver in a car full of drunk people. Ugh, that is the worst. Everything is sooo funny for everyone who is drunk, and you are just becoming increasingly annoyed.
Joshua in Concord had a mini-prison experience with a girl. He was dragged to a Journey/Def Leppard song. And, he could not leave until "Pour Some Sugar On Me." When was that? Obviously, the last encore. Poor Joshua.
Well, we are done for the day. We'll see you tomorrow!! I apologize to my mother, have a good afternoon.
posted by The Gray Area at 1:01 PM
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