Wednesday, October 18

Hi! It's your friendly screener, Erica, here to take your calls and tell you all about The Gray Area.

7pm: To begin the show tonight, we are going to be speaking to Jim "Griff" Griffith, spokesman from ebay. This guy was so difficult to track down. The ebay operators are pretty unwilling to give out information. In the 10-15 times I called, I was transferred before I could finish my question. What's up with that? Why does every company do that?!

Before we go Griff, Chris describes to us the meat aisle at a fancypants supermarket in Milbrae. He claims that the aisle is 45 yds long and zig-zagging. Furthermore, he tells us about a veal and kidney chop he saw. That sounds really disgusting.

Griff started off as one of the first buyers and now has been welcomed into their warm, corporate embrace. The reason we are calling him is to ask about the craziest items sold on the website. Things mentioned are organs, souls, etc. His favorite's are the topical ones. There were some great Jennifer Wilbanks t-shirts. Chris wants to know about the indentured servitude. Can't do that on ebay. Sorry to all of you looking for some yardwork. Brad asks about selling your cadaver on the site. Griff thinks it wouldn't fly because of the pre-sale rule, not that it's human remains.

Alright, we gotta get rid of some of these tickets. First up, seeing Adam do his show from the Playboy Mansion. The guys wanted to have someone iron their wife's wedding dress with an old gasoline iron. As we expected, PD Jason said this would be too dangerous. He even quoted things from the CBS practices manual. Yeah, kinda knew that wasn't gonna fly.

To get the tickets, you have to have the worst wife ever and/or the most to lose by going. Brad and Chris are definitely hoping that no one deserves it because they want to go themselves. Well, Chris wants to go, I think Brad is somewhat apprehensive.

8pm: We hear some pretty terrible stories. The worst is Andrew from Concord. His wife left him after their baby died, his cousin stole his inheritance, and it just gets worse from there. Either this guy has the most horrible life ever, or his is a very creative liar.

We also from Jim from San Mateo. He is about to go to jail and his wife left him for another woman, a month ago. This guy could use the Playboy Mansion, but he might be in jail at the time.

The guys get into a wonderful English debate about fellatio and fallacious. Brad thinks fallacious means a woman inclined to give fellatio. Chris, who is correct, says it means, "one that is telling a fallacy."

9pm: Ok, so we're still trying to find a good enough sob story. We've had some pretty good ones, but none that completely blew us away.

Anthony from San Francisco tells us a story about his wife. She got so angry that he ignored her that she carved his beloved Harley with a screwdriver. He is still with her despite her horrible temper because she is so hot. He says that she has given him black eyes and is constantly violent. She is going to kick his ass if he goes to this. Dan thinks she will burn the house down. Anthony is definitely in the lead.

The problem is, we kinda want a guy for whom the Playboy Mansion will be the perfect cure to this. Like someone whose wife just cheated on him or completely freezes him out. Brad throws in a woman who was a Playboy bunny, but is now a Playboy warthog.

We call Anthony back and offer him an ultimatum. He either puts his wife on the phone or he doesn't get to go. I don't think he's going to do it. He seemed pretty scared when I told him we needed her.

So, finally after a lot of work, Anthony allows us to call his wife, Kim. She is supposed to be pretty fiery. We have her on the line, and she sounds kinda sad. But the thing is, she sounds really sweet. Finally, after putting these two through the ringer, Chris and Brad decide to send them to Playboy. Congratulations to Kim and Anthony. Don't fight when you're there.

Jim from San Mateo is given a 4-pack of tickets to Cobb's Comedy Club to see Jim Norton on Friday. I know it's not Playboy, but it should be a good time, nonetheless. Speaking of Jim Norton, he will be on the show tomorrow.

10pm: Finally, the tickets are all taken care of. That was exhausting.

To start the hour and move on, Brad gives a little more insight into the hell that was his move. They ended up not turning in the truck till this morning because they were so worn down. Brad has to drive down to Milbrae at 8AM, which is awful in itself. Then, when going through the inspection in turning it in, the agent says that a big dent on the truck is Brad's fault. Brad swears that he hit nothing.

The nice piece of this story, Brad heeds Chris' advice to not let it ruin his whole day. Fortunately, after a morning of sadness and frustration, it did work out.

Don't forget that tomorrow and Friday, we will be giving away tickets to the Exotic Erotic Ball. We have 6 pairs each night, so definitely tune in and be ready to humiliate yourself for our amusement. One pair will be VIP.

I have never been to the Exotic Erotic, nor has Brad. Chris has been about 3 times. We want to hear your stories about the ball. Chris wonders why everyone says that it has changed and isn't what it used to be.

"Bill from Hayward" calls in to give some info to the ball. I am almost positive it is the pranker. He is saying generalizations that everyone kinda knows.

I have heard that the difference is that there are a lot more people who go to be cool. Everyone in the city knows about it, so it's one of the things to do. Kinda like, Halloween in the Castro.

JD from Vacaville calls in and really has the lowdown on the ball. He has been several times and says that if you are going to go, you gotta go VIP. Brad wants to know if it would be fun to take some shrooms and go. That sounds like an absolutely horrible idea.

We end the show on a really classy note: Brad's Penile Euphemism of the Day. Today's is Hot Rod Leaking. WOW. That is just lovely, Brad.

With that, I apologize to my mother and say goodnight.