Thursday, February 1st

Hi everyone. Erica here to keep you filled in again. Today is Gavin Newsom Day! Don't worry, we're not going to go all KGO on you, we'll talk about this FreeFM style. Completely unrelated, I found this video online and thought it was hilarious, but it does not translate to the air.

7pm: So, if you have been under a rock all day, Gavin Newsom was busted for having sex with his campaign manager's wife. Ouch. I don't really care that he did this, but what the hell? It's your best friend.

But before we get to Newsom, some more important news has surfaced. Remember the story of the iguana's amputated penis? Well, Mozart the iguana was unable to lose his erection after hooking up with a particularly sexy female iguana. The answer was to amputate. This sounds dire, but fortunately, iguanas have a back-up unit. We have some good news, Mozart has bounced back, and is back on top of his game. Good job Mozart, way to stay strong and be proud.
Angela in SF wishes that the human male had two penises. She thinks that would be great. As far as Gavin is concerned, I think she does not really care, but wants a date. Wait, does she want a date with Gavin or the iguana, or maybe a combination of the two.

Most people think Gavin is doing a good job, his approval ratings are high. But, now that it has come out that his character is pretty shady, do you care? Is it going to affect your opinion of him as mayor?

Grace in SF is not so concerned about his morality, but is more shocked to hear that Newsom is not gay. There have been rumors about this throughout his time in office, but I guess there is no question now.

The calls are somewhat split on Newsom. Some think that all politicians are immoral, and they have to be to get anywhere. Also, some do not think that your personal life should matter in the political ring. Other callers think that this betrayal to his friend, destroys the public's trust. How can we trust him with finances, if he is backstabbing his own campaign manager.

Brad is concerned that this behavior demonstrates poor judgement. His character and personal life may not be an issue, but this is a major lapse. It is not just that he slept with a married woman, it is the wife of a person very important to his administration and career.

8pm: Supervisor Chris Daly has said that in politics, "respect and trust is paramount." Brad thinks that this is important, Chris utterly disagrees.

Also, can you think of any good "I'm sleeping with your wife" songs. I am looking, but for some reason struggling. There must be a million country songs about this. Duh, after a while, I think of "Layla." If you do not know this, "Layla" is about Eric Clapton falling in love with George Harrison's wife.

Some callers think that it was selfish for Ruby, the woman involved, to tell her husband. This is how Dan feels about the situation. We understand that making amends is important, but that you should not do so if it is cruel. I think that is an interesting point.

Jeff in Morgan Hill has been in this situation. He had an affair with his best friend's wife. He says that she came on to him, but he gave in a few times. When his friend confronted him, he says he was honest. The friend split up with her and they stayed friends. That's amazing that he did not get his ass kicked for that.

Carl in SF is in a pretty messed up situation. He has just found out that his girlfriend slept with his best friend. His response is not to break up with her, but to sleep with her best friend. That's mature. Why don't you just break up? Also, Carl may be completely full of crap.

So now we take this to, what is the worst trouble your penis has gotten you into? Brad immediately says he is not going to talk about this. He realizes they still have a half-life, and does not want his wife to hear.

9pm: The guys start talking about the fact that both their women have excessively long hair. Does that make them witches? This leads them to the ways that they tested to see if women were witches in the past. Why is this relevant? Because in Herouxville, Quebec, it has been made clear to immigrants that they must not stone, throw acid upon, or burn women. I did not know this was a problem. One of the most ridiculous things about this is that the population is under 1,300 people.

Brad's wife is obsessed now with watching poker on tv. It is always on, so it is inescapable. One thing they don't understand, is why you are allowed to wear sunglasses. If the game is about reading your opponent, then isn't that unfair? They also don't understand that you get to see everyone's cards. There must be a way to cheat that way.

Chris asks if he would rather watch celebrity or not celebrity? Brad says celebrity because it least it makes it a little more interesting. I'm not sure though, because the celebrities are not making/losing money.

Also, T is not doing that well in quitting cigarettes. She is usually emotional, but it is enhanced immensely by quitting. This morning she asked if they could just put it off for another couple months. He said no, and has not had one yet. They have not had a fight yet, but Chris is doubting that will last.

We found a tutorial today, "How to Give a Great Man to Man Hug." This is great and highly accurate. Of course, they mention the all important pat.

We all start giving Chris crap for his turtleneck. He has been getting crap for this forever, and refuses to not wear them. He even says that they look "nice and neat." I have to call him out for that, because the one he is wearing is two sizes too big.

Emily from the city calls in to agree that turtlenecks are lame. I, of course, lie on the comment line, so he will be unprepared for her comments. She completely trounces Chris and the turtlenecks. It is even a deal breaker for her.

Brad is concerned that he is losing cool points now that he is quitting smoking. Dan suggests that he goes on a crime spree, knocking off liquor stores. Chris jumps right on board in goading Brad into a life of crime. They think that to throw the cops through a loop, he should randomly rob a beauty shop, and demand they wash his hair. I can only imagine.

Hey everybody, it's Felony Friday on The Gray Area. Be the tenth caller, and you can tell Brad what felony to commit. And you will get a fantastic Felony Friday t-shirt.

Of course, we have to play "Ruby Don't Take Your Love to Town." But we don't just play the Kenny Rogers version, we play the Leonard Nimoy version, as well. Oh man. This could not be worse.

In going back to this, the guys wonder what other things a politician can get away with? If he is doing a good job in office, but doing something immoral but legal.

- Being the leader of a group that hates one person (the I Hate Fred group)
- In a bowling league

10pm: Dan from Modesto calls in to defend bowling. He takes quite a bit of heat for this, but takes it well. Poor Dan, he trys, but I don't think he has helped his cause.

Paul in San Jose calls. He is a mechanic at a bowling alley and is calling us from behind the pins. We can hear them banging around in the background. That is certainly a unique place to make a call into a radio show.

Chris talks about he was stupid once and banged two bowling pins together. In doing so, he banged the hell out of his finger, to where he lost the nail. This of course leads to a discussion of times when you lost your nail. Eww. This is disgusting. Brad talks about how when he lost a toenail, he wanted to show everybody. Ugh.

We saw another Paris Hilton sex tape video today. They are wondering how anyone thinks she is hot. They really hate her breasts. Chris is particularly confused because he hates her and thinks she is unattractive, but there is something about her face.

The more they think about the ParisExposed thing, they think that she is in on it. The whole story of the site sounds fishy. Why would Paris have a storage locker with all the property they have? I had never thought about it, but it makes sense now that I think about it. We will have some audio from this tomorrow.

The guys read the story of the Dipsea Demon. Jack Kirk got the name when in Mariposa, he ran past some runners, and they said, "boy, that guy runs like a demon." He lived on a 400 acre ranch, with two cabins filled with garbage. He was one of those stereotypes who would fire his gun at trespassers. He was the definition of a crotchety old man, but was a fantastic runner. How incredibly weird.

With that, I apologize to my mother. Have a good night.