Friday, March 9th
Hey everyone. Erica here again on this Friday night. Is it just me or are incredibly excited for the weekend.
7pm: Brad is really excited for a pen he has. He did not remember buying it and just one day had it. He finally looks at the inscription and notices that is the pen given to his mother for her retirement. That's not right that he stole that from his mother.
As both pens and sunglasses are things that you should not spend money on, because you will lose them, Chris asks which you are more willing to spend on? Brad says sunglasses, because they will make you look cool for the three weeks you have them.
Chris relates that to when he dies, he has a ton of questions. One of them is to ask why you always lose the expensive sunglasses and never lose the cheap ones?
A caller mentions sunglasses he found in SkyMall. I didn't know people actually buy things from those. Chris mentions that he loves SkyMall. That everytime he thinks it will be stupid, and then ends up reading the whole thing.
Alex is upset that he never bought the inflatable island. This is a big toy that floats in a pond, but it is around $400. Damn, that's expensive. He also wants The Lord of the Rings ring that they have.
Jason in Napa thinks that plane stories should be the tone tonight. He was flying a few days after someone was killed in turbulence. There was a lot of turbulence on his flight and he was hammered. The woman in front of him had never flown before. While they are dipping, he is cheering like on a rollercoaster and the poor novice flyer starts crying in fear. The flight attendant even asked him to apologize.
When Chris got his pilot's license, he was informed that he would have to ask women their weight. She will lie, and then you will have to ask her again. That must be incredibly awkward.
Sean in Berkeley calls about the maggots song, of course leading those sick bastards to play it again. I hate them so much. It's just not cool, although I have found that the Spy Hunter theme helps.
Elliott in Brooks has a son who was on a flight from Tahoe to SFO. The landing gear was frozen and wouldn't come out. They had to fly out over the ocean to dump fuel to do a belly landing. His son told him that all the adults were freaking out and all the kids thought it was cool. They actually had to use that crazy slide and all the kids were treating it like a ride.
8pm: Brad saw something pretty crazy today walking down Battery. He sees two men that are obviously homeless. With them is someone who looks like a much younger business man. They have a big bottle of gin and are completely sloshed. The young guy is completely ridiculous and eventually is just lying on the sidewalk. Some of the other bystanders call the ambulance to get some help. A fire truck and an ambulance came and eventually were able to wake him up.
So yesterday, we mentioned that a Burger King movie is coming out. Now to further Hollywood's pathetic nature, they are making a Chipmunks movie, starring Jason Lee. That's weird that they are doing that now.
Neither Brad nor Chris has seen Borat yet so he goes to Hollywood Video to rent it on Tuesday. There is an entire wall of the movie boxes, and it is completely out. He feels that seeing that wall is worse than just being told it is out. He went there again the next night and it was out again. But, both times he rented another movie instead, thus falling victim to their plan.
Brad points out that Chris is horrendous at returning videos. He thought that he was cured of it and then he rented the "House" dvds. He had it on the counter all ready to go and return it, but then his dog got sick. Of course, by the time he returned it, he owed them thirty bucks.
This leads perfectly into the topic of Lessons Never Learned. These are those things that you always do, that always lead to pain and sorrow. No matter how many times you tell yourself not to do it again, you always, always do.
But first, they have to read a story about a German man who was pretty upset about his divorce. He was so sick of fighting with his ex over the house, that he cut it in half and took his half off with a forklift. That is pretty damn creative.
For Brad, his lesson has to do with clipping his nails. Sometimes when you bite your nails, there leaves a little string of skin on the side of your finger. He knows that he should not pull it, but he always does. This of course, pulls far more than you want it to, leaving your finger in agony for two or three days.
Chris points out when you break your nail and you decide to tear it off instead of clipping it. The problem is, when you rip it, it never ends up being straight. So, the nail tears into that pink, fleshy part under your nail that should never be exposed and hurts immensely.
If you ever meet me, you might notice that I have about four scars in the same place of my left index finger. The reason is just one tasty breakfast food, the bagel. No matter how many times I cut myself, I always insist on cutting my bagel the same way. I turn it on its side, grab it by the base, and start sawing down the top. Inevitably, 3 of 10 times I cut my finger. Of course, I could put it down flat, pressing my hand on top. The problem with this is that the bagel always turns out uneven, therefore unacceptable. There are also the bagel guillotines, but those leave my bagel squishy and unhappy.
My hatred of the bagel guillotine leads them to talking about other unnecessary kitchen gadgets. This includes the banana hanger and the potato peeler glove, that is really just a weapon.
9pm: Brad mentioned learning mixing drinks. He always makes that mistake. Tad in Berkeley has the age old, "Beer before liquor, never sicker; liquor before beer, in the clear." But, Tad also has five other rules. No mixing beer and wine; purity saves hangovers; no American beer; stay away from anything German. That was only four. But, Tad is blasted so whatever.
Ben in Marin is a bartender. He says that the real rule is if you start with it, you should end with it. That goes for tequila, Jager, or whatever else you are drinking. The flaw is that if you are drinking Jager, you can't drink that all night. He also suggests Dramamine for a hangover. Carrie in SF backs this claim up. None of us had ever heard of that.
Brian in SF suggests drinking Fernet, but that stuff is nasty. He swears that there is no hangover with that.
Anonymous in SF works for an ambulance company. They decided to steal IVs to help them with hangovers. They did so and got blasted. When they tried to start the IVs, shockingly, they were unable to do it correctly. He said there were needles lying around everywhere.
Eric in Napa suggests drinking some NyQuil after a hard night of drinking. It is bad to do all the time, obviously, but you will sleep through the night.
Other Hangover Cures:
- Eating a raw potato
- A big breakfast
- Midol (coming from a guy?)
Chris says there are two keys for hangovers. One is to not swear you won't do it again. Two is to force yourself to throw up over and over again. It sucks, but it works.
Juliet in Marin says rubbing lemon under your armpits. She claims she read it in an article and tried it when she was really messed up. She says within five minutes she was fine and that it works every time.
10pm: We continue talking about hangovers. Is it bad that all of this is making me want to drink?
Of course we hear from Grace in SF on this one. She has certainly proved herself an expert in this area. She claims that Alka-Seltzer Cold Plus completely clears your heads. From what we hear from her now, she will be needing it tomorrow. They ask if she has a mixing rule, she pauses and eventually says no.
Denay in Pacifica says that you should have a big, greasy, sloppy hamburger when hungover. I have never done a burger but am a big fan of the big, greasy breakfast. Her husband suggests menudo, but that is disgusting and I won't eat it. No tripe for Erica.
To end this, John in Dixon says you should get a sleep apnea oxygen mask. Apparently, all that oxygen is perfect for hangovers.
With that, we are going to do a Friday Night replay. I apologize to my mother, have a good night.
7pm: Brad is really excited for a pen he has. He did not remember buying it and just one day had it. He finally looks at the inscription and notices that is the pen given to his mother for her retirement. That's not right that he stole that from his mother.
As both pens and sunglasses are things that you should not spend money on, because you will lose them, Chris asks which you are more willing to spend on? Brad says sunglasses, because they will make you look cool for the three weeks you have them.
Chris relates that to when he dies, he has a ton of questions. One of them is to ask why you always lose the expensive sunglasses and never lose the cheap ones?
A caller mentions sunglasses he found in SkyMall. I didn't know people actually buy things from those. Chris mentions that he loves SkyMall. That everytime he thinks it will be stupid, and then ends up reading the whole thing.
Alex is upset that he never bought the inflatable island. This is a big toy that floats in a pond, but it is around $400. Damn, that's expensive. He also wants The Lord of the Rings ring that they have.
Jason in Napa thinks that plane stories should be the tone tonight. He was flying a few days after someone was killed in turbulence. There was a lot of turbulence on his flight and he was hammered. The woman in front of him had never flown before. While they are dipping, he is cheering like on a rollercoaster and the poor novice flyer starts crying in fear. The flight attendant even asked him to apologize.
When Chris got his pilot's license, he was informed that he would have to ask women their weight. She will lie, and then you will have to ask her again. That must be incredibly awkward.
Sean in Berkeley calls about the maggots song, of course leading those sick bastards to play it again. I hate them so much. It's just not cool, although I have found that the Spy Hunter theme helps.
Elliott in Brooks has a son who was on a flight from Tahoe to SFO. The landing gear was frozen and wouldn't come out. They had to fly out over the ocean to dump fuel to do a belly landing. His son told him that all the adults were freaking out and all the kids thought it was cool. They actually had to use that crazy slide and all the kids were treating it like a ride.
8pm: Brad saw something pretty crazy today walking down Battery. He sees two men that are obviously homeless. With them is someone who looks like a much younger business man. They have a big bottle of gin and are completely sloshed. The young guy is completely ridiculous and eventually is just lying on the sidewalk. Some of the other bystanders call the ambulance to get some help. A fire truck and an ambulance came and eventually were able to wake him up.
So yesterday, we mentioned that a Burger King movie is coming out. Now to further Hollywood's pathetic nature, they are making a Chipmunks movie, starring Jason Lee. That's weird that they are doing that now.
Neither Brad nor Chris has seen Borat yet so he goes to Hollywood Video to rent it on Tuesday. There is an entire wall of the movie boxes, and it is completely out. He feels that seeing that wall is worse than just being told it is out. He went there again the next night and it was out again. But, both times he rented another movie instead, thus falling victim to their plan.
Brad points out that Chris is horrendous at returning videos. He thought that he was cured of it and then he rented the "House" dvds. He had it on the counter all ready to go and return it, but then his dog got sick. Of course, by the time he returned it, he owed them thirty bucks.
This leads perfectly into the topic of Lessons Never Learned. These are those things that you always do, that always lead to pain and sorrow. No matter how many times you tell yourself not to do it again, you always, always do.
But first, they have to read a story about a German man who was pretty upset about his divorce. He was so sick of fighting with his ex over the house, that he cut it in half and took his half off with a forklift. That is pretty damn creative.
For Brad, his lesson has to do with clipping his nails. Sometimes when you bite your nails, there leaves a little string of skin on the side of your finger. He knows that he should not pull it, but he always does. This of course, pulls far more than you want it to, leaving your finger in agony for two or three days.
Chris points out when you break your nail and you decide to tear it off instead of clipping it. The problem is, when you rip it, it never ends up being straight. So, the nail tears into that pink, fleshy part under your nail that should never be exposed and hurts immensely.
If you ever meet me, you might notice that I have about four scars in the same place of my left index finger. The reason is just one tasty breakfast food, the bagel. No matter how many times I cut myself, I always insist on cutting my bagel the same way. I turn it on its side, grab it by the base, and start sawing down the top. Inevitably, 3 of 10 times I cut my finger. Of course, I could put it down flat, pressing my hand on top. The problem with this is that the bagel always turns out uneven, therefore unacceptable. There are also the bagel guillotines, but those leave my bagel squishy and unhappy.
My hatred of the bagel guillotine leads them to talking about other unnecessary kitchen gadgets. This includes the banana hanger and the potato peeler glove, that is really just a weapon.
9pm: Brad mentioned learning mixing drinks. He always makes that mistake. Tad in Berkeley has the age old, "Beer before liquor, never sicker; liquor before beer, in the clear." But, Tad also has five other rules. No mixing beer and wine; purity saves hangovers; no American beer; stay away from anything German. That was only four. But, Tad is blasted so whatever.
Ben in Marin is a bartender. He says that the real rule is if you start with it, you should end with it. That goes for tequila, Jager, or whatever else you are drinking. The flaw is that if you are drinking Jager, you can't drink that all night. He also suggests Dramamine for a hangover. Carrie in SF backs this claim up. None of us had ever heard of that.
Brian in SF suggests drinking Fernet, but that stuff is nasty. He swears that there is no hangover with that.
Anonymous in SF works for an ambulance company. They decided to steal IVs to help them with hangovers. They did so and got blasted. When they tried to start the IVs, shockingly, they were unable to do it correctly. He said there were needles lying around everywhere.
Eric in Napa suggests drinking some NyQuil after a hard night of drinking. It is bad to do all the time, obviously, but you will sleep through the night.
Other Hangover Cures:
- Eating a raw potato
- A big breakfast
- Midol (coming from a guy?)
Chris says there are two keys for hangovers. One is to not swear you won't do it again. Two is to force yourself to throw up over and over again. It sucks, but it works.
Juliet in Marin says rubbing lemon under your armpits. She claims she read it in an article and tried it when she was really messed up. She says within five minutes she was fine and that it works every time.
10pm: We continue talking about hangovers. Is it bad that all of this is making me want to drink?
Of course we hear from Grace in SF on this one. She has certainly proved herself an expert in this area. She claims that Alka-Seltzer Cold Plus completely clears your heads. From what we hear from her now, she will be needing it tomorrow. They ask if she has a mixing rule, she pauses and eventually says no.
Denay in Pacifica says that you should have a big, greasy, sloppy hamburger when hungover. I have never done a burger but am a big fan of the big, greasy breakfast. Her husband suggests menudo, but that is disgusting and I won't eat it. No tripe for Erica.
To end this, John in Dixon says you should get a sleep apnea oxygen mask. Apparently, all that oxygen is perfect for hangovers.
With that, we are going to do a Friday Night replay. I apologize to my mother, have a good night.
posted by The Gray Area at 7:00 PM
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