Tuesday, March 27th
Hey everyone. The Gray Area will be off Wednesday through Friday of this week. What does this mean? Well, sadly, this is Dan's last day. We will miss you Dan and your dreamcatching, zombie-hunting ways.
7pm: We are going to speak to Craig Newmark from Craigslist again tonight. This will be strictly a question and answer session, full of calls with questions. Thanks to Craig for helping us out yet again. Chris starts off asking about a search he did looking for a puppy. He was surprised to learn that Craigslist does not allow selling pets on the site. They do allow rescue services, but having dealt with the SPCA, decided it would be in the best interest of the animals to not allow it. He says pets bring the most heated bickering on the site. Part of this is animal rights people who have even had to be visited by the police for harrassment.
After a slow start with calls and some berating of the listeners by Chris, the phones light up. Scott in Vacaville asks about his recent appearance on NBC's Identity game show that aired about a week ago. To see a clip of this, go to NBC.com's video section.
Chris asks if the Best Of section will have anything other than rants included. He would like to see some of the most ridiculous ads included in the section. Craig says that these are solely determined by flagging by the users, that it is not purposely just for rants. One of his favorites is a job ad looking for someone to take a CPA Ethics exam for them. Ahh the irony is fantastic. Craig thinks this may be a future candidate for Vice President.
Mike in Belmont asks about all the fake ads and spamming that occurs in the Personals section. Craig says that this is a problem throughout the Internet. He says there are working to keep up with these people, but that it is difficult to shut them all down. They are also trying to enlist some bigger companies to help them prevent these from happening in the first place. Mike says he has had success, but that he gets an abundant amount of spam, particularly from security companies. But, he says this is no different than Match.com of other dating sites.
James in San Jose asks if he would ever run for President. Craig says he thinks that kind of job sucks. Once on April Fool's Day, he said he was considering running for Mayor. He was surprised that it struck a nerve and that there was a lot of support for this. He thinks that it would be unhealthy for both him and the city if he were Mayor.
Sam in San Jose asks if he ever has run into legal problems with the prostitution ads on the site. Craig says that law enforcement tends to be aware that there are just the forum and not encouraging this. Furthermore, he says that they do not want this on the site, but that being a user-moderated community, the flaggers are more concerned with spam than with prostitution.
This was the third time that we have spoken to Craig and it seems to be getting smoother and smoother. Chris, however, is aware that he cannot help but stutter when speaking to Craig.
Bob in Discovery Bay wants to set the tone with the Pet Peeves of cheap people. The two things he mentions are the tiny cups for water at fast food restaurants and broken springs at the gas pump that forces you to buy more gas than he wants.
The guys spend a little time speaking to Dan as it is his last day. He tells us that he is going to be working for Traffic. The guys want to know what his alias will be. Dan wonders if he should be "The Assmaster." I think that would be great, especially if he is working for KPFA or KNEW. Could you imagine "The Assmaster" doing traffic reports for Michael Savage?
8pm: The guys talk about building a show and the difference that is here. They want to thank Dan for his contributions on the show, and of course, he is eating while they do this.
Ok, so with baseball season upon us, we are going to play some horrendous versions of "The Star Spangled Banner." Brad reads the lyrics to make more poignant everyone's mistakes. Chris tries to convince him to read it in baby talk, but Brad isn't having that. Chris says that he would rather see "America the Beautiful" be the national anthem.
Andrew in Cupertino is concerned about the zombies. He is afraid without Dan's zombie-hunting skills that his brains will be devoured in the night. I understand your concern, Andrew, and will be sleeping with a machete myself.
Mott in Santa Rosa would like to hear some more Dan comedy being that it is his last night. I don't think we could send him off without it.
Before that, we are going to play some National Anthem screw-ups. We play one of the worst first, link to this, because although we played it, you have to see everyone's facial expressions. The best thing is that he is a police officer and has the words in front of him.
Next, we play a clip of a girl who had won a contest to sing the anthem. She completely forgets the words and has to be coached through the rest. This girl could not possibly have been happier to have the song end.
We come back from break with some Dan Carlisle stolen comedy. He will be doing a couple jokes from his favorite, Sarah Silverman. I love this so, so much. I will have to call Dan just to ask him to read some jokes for me.
The guys point out that Dan's legacy will live on here on "The Gray Area" with his instant creepology. We can thank Dan for teaching us that adding "little boy" to any innocuous question, instantly makes it creepy.
Next, we play the clip of one of the most embarrassing National Anthem incidents. This woman first screwed up the words and walked off the ice of the hockey game. She came back to try again and then falls right on her ass. Poor thing, she looks utterly humiliated.
The guys find another one with a woman with a crazy ass beehive. She does a pretty kick ass Donald Duck impression in this rendition.
Last but not least, we play a montage of horrendous National Anthems. Someone on YouTube did an incredible job with this.
9pm: Monk in San Jose wonders why we only really hear the National Anthem in sporting events. He is surprised that political candidates do not use the anthem in their campaign speeches.
So, as it is Dan's last night, the guys want to do something nice and decide to play Celebrity Tag for the remaining Ron White tickets. They are shocked to see Dan's lack of enthusiasm as he reveals that he, in fact, hates the game.
Somehow, Sidney in Fairfield, through no coaching of our own (wink wink) decided to pit Dan against Chris, Brad and I. Dan actually hangs in for a really long time. I'm impressed. Perhaps such a challenge is the motivation he needs in the world of Celebrity Tag.
A caller gets himself thrown in the Pit for picking the wrong team, starting a slaughter. Four callers were thrown in the Pit of Mediocrity simply for our enjoyment. Many of them had been holding for twenty minutes. I'm sorry to all those victims of our sadistic nature. Well, not really, it was hilarious.
Finally, we play another round and Katie in Sebastapol is able to get some tickets to Ron White on May 18th at The Warfield.
10pm: So after giving the tickets to Mike in San Bruno because we are all out of celebrities, we read a story about the end of the world. They have created a creature that is 85% sheep and 15% human. It looks like a sheep but half of its organs are human. How incredibly disturbing is this? The worst part is that the brain itself will be partly human. AHHHH!!
Brad is a big fan of Survival of the Fittest and also hates people. For him, the idea of breeding freaky sheep in order to keep more people alive, seems like a terrible idea. Think of all the traffic Brad. The lines at Costco.
I have to ask if those scary people in the boonies would feel more justified having sex with a sheep that was part human. More than that, the guys point out, it is part you. They say you could defend this atrocity as being a form of masturbation. What if someone impregnated the sheep chimera in this situation? Is it worse that it is inbreeding or interspecies?
Brad is particularly terrified about animals with cognitive abilities. James in American Canyon brings up the chimpanzees in Africa that learned how to make spears and used them to kill bush babies. He, like Brad, sees this as something that could be incredibly frightening.
Ok, which is worse: sex with a girl in a coma, sex with a dead girl, or sex with a sheep that is half you? This had to be brought up, as we have often discussed the coma vs dead girl sex. This show is just so incredibly wrong.
Joey in Pinole informed us about a new movie coming out about this very situation. It is called "Black Sheep" and the trailer is so incredibly hilarious. I have to see this movie. This may be the new movie perfect for getting blazed. All three of us cannot wait until this movie makes its way over from New Zealand.
In honor of Dan's last night, we play one of his favorite songs from "The Gray Area." It is "He'll F*** You Up." This may be the only Christian song that Dan likes.
So, with that, we'll miss you Dan. It's been fun. Who will talk basketball with me and share M&Ms? Good luck at your new gig. The show will be off until Monday, and be sure to tune in then, as we will have some big news. I apologize to my mother. Have a good night.
7pm: We are going to speak to Craig Newmark from Craigslist again tonight. This will be strictly a question and answer session, full of calls with questions. Thanks to Craig for helping us out yet again. Chris starts off asking about a search he did looking for a puppy. He was surprised to learn that Craigslist does not allow selling pets on the site. They do allow rescue services, but having dealt with the SPCA, decided it would be in the best interest of the animals to not allow it. He says pets bring the most heated bickering on the site. Part of this is animal rights people who have even had to be visited by the police for harrassment.
After a slow start with calls and some berating of the listeners by Chris, the phones light up. Scott in Vacaville asks about his recent appearance on NBC's Identity game show that aired about a week ago. To see a clip of this, go to NBC.com's video section.
Chris asks if the Best Of section will have anything other than rants included. He would like to see some of the most ridiculous ads included in the section. Craig says that these are solely determined by flagging by the users, that it is not purposely just for rants. One of his favorites is a job ad looking for someone to take a CPA Ethics exam for them. Ahh the irony is fantastic. Craig thinks this may be a future candidate for Vice President.
Mike in Belmont asks about all the fake ads and spamming that occurs in the Personals section. Craig says that this is a problem throughout the Internet. He says there are working to keep up with these people, but that it is difficult to shut them all down. They are also trying to enlist some bigger companies to help them prevent these from happening in the first place. Mike says he has had success, but that he gets an abundant amount of spam, particularly from security companies. But, he says this is no different than Match.com of other dating sites.
James in San Jose asks if he would ever run for President. Craig says he thinks that kind of job sucks. Once on April Fool's Day, he said he was considering running for Mayor. He was surprised that it struck a nerve and that there was a lot of support for this. He thinks that it would be unhealthy for both him and the city if he were Mayor.
Sam in San Jose asks if he ever has run into legal problems with the prostitution ads on the site. Craig says that law enforcement tends to be aware that there are just the forum and not encouraging this. Furthermore, he says that they do not want this on the site, but that being a user-moderated community, the flaggers are more concerned with spam than with prostitution.
This was the third time that we have spoken to Craig and it seems to be getting smoother and smoother. Chris, however, is aware that he cannot help but stutter when speaking to Craig.
Bob in Discovery Bay wants to set the tone with the Pet Peeves of cheap people. The two things he mentions are the tiny cups for water at fast food restaurants and broken springs at the gas pump that forces you to buy more gas than he wants.
The guys spend a little time speaking to Dan as it is his last day. He tells us that he is going to be working for Traffic. The guys want to know what his alias will be. Dan wonders if he should be "The Assmaster." I think that would be great, especially if he is working for KPFA or KNEW. Could you imagine "The Assmaster" doing traffic reports for Michael Savage?
8pm: The guys talk about building a show and the difference that is here. They want to thank Dan for his contributions on the show, and of course, he is eating while they do this.
Ok, so with baseball season upon us, we are going to play some horrendous versions of "The Star Spangled Banner." Brad reads the lyrics to make more poignant everyone's mistakes. Chris tries to convince him to read it in baby talk, but Brad isn't having that. Chris says that he would rather see "America the Beautiful" be the national anthem.
Andrew in Cupertino is concerned about the zombies. He is afraid without Dan's zombie-hunting skills that his brains will be devoured in the night. I understand your concern, Andrew, and will be sleeping with a machete myself.
Mott in Santa Rosa would like to hear some more Dan comedy being that it is his last night. I don't think we could send him off without it.
Before that, we are going to play some National Anthem screw-ups. We play one of the worst first, link to this, because although we played it, you have to see everyone's facial expressions. The best thing is that he is a police officer and has the words in front of him.
Next, we play a clip of a girl who had won a contest to sing the anthem. She completely forgets the words and has to be coached through the rest. This girl could not possibly have been happier to have the song end.
We come back from break with some Dan Carlisle stolen comedy. He will be doing a couple jokes from his favorite, Sarah Silverman. I love this so, so much. I will have to call Dan just to ask him to read some jokes for me.
The guys point out that Dan's legacy will live on here on "The Gray Area" with his instant creepology. We can thank Dan for teaching us that adding "little boy" to any innocuous question, instantly makes it creepy.
Next, we play the clip of one of the most embarrassing National Anthem incidents. This woman first screwed up the words and walked off the ice of the hockey game. She came back to try again and then falls right on her ass. Poor thing, she looks utterly humiliated.
The guys find another one with a woman with a crazy ass beehive. She does a pretty kick ass Donald Duck impression in this rendition.
Last but not least, we play a montage of horrendous National Anthems. Someone on YouTube did an incredible job with this.
9pm: Monk in San Jose wonders why we only really hear the National Anthem in sporting events. He is surprised that political candidates do not use the anthem in their campaign speeches.
So, as it is Dan's last night, the guys want to do something nice and decide to play Celebrity Tag for the remaining Ron White tickets. They are shocked to see Dan's lack of enthusiasm as he reveals that he, in fact, hates the game.
Somehow, Sidney in Fairfield, through no coaching of our own (wink wink) decided to pit Dan against Chris, Brad and I. Dan actually hangs in for a really long time. I'm impressed. Perhaps such a challenge is the motivation he needs in the world of Celebrity Tag.
A caller gets himself thrown in the Pit for picking the wrong team, starting a slaughter. Four callers were thrown in the Pit of Mediocrity simply for our enjoyment. Many of them had been holding for twenty minutes. I'm sorry to all those victims of our sadistic nature. Well, not really, it was hilarious.
Finally, we play another round and Katie in Sebastapol is able to get some tickets to Ron White on May 18th at The Warfield.
10pm: So after giving the tickets to Mike in San Bruno because we are all out of celebrities, we read a story about the end of the world. They have created a creature that is 85% sheep and 15% human. It looks like a sheep but half of its organs are human. How incredibly disturbing is this? The worst part is that the brain itself will be partly human. AHHHH!!
Brad is a big fan of Survival of the Fittest and also hates people. For him, the idea of breeding freaky sheep in order to keep more people alive, seems like a terrible idea. Think of all the traffic Brad. The lines at Costco.
I have to ask if those scary people in the boonies would feel more justified having sex with a sheep that was part human. More than that, the guys point out, it is part you. They say you could defend this atrocity as being a form of masturbation. What if someone impregnated the sheep chimera in this situation? Is it worse that it is inbreeding or interspecies?
Brad is particularly terrified about animals with cognitive abilities. James in American Canyon brings up the chimpanzees in Africa that learned how to make spears and used them to kill bush babies. He, like Brad, sees this as something that could be incredibly frightening.
Ok, which is worse: sex with a girl in a coma, sex with a dead girl, or sex with a sheep that is half you? This had to be brought up, as we have often discussed the coma vs dead girl sex. This show is just so incredibly wrong.
Joey in Pinole informed us about a new movie coming out about this very situation. It is called "Black Sheep" and the trailer is so incredibly hilarious. I have to see this movie. This may be the new movie perfect for getting blazed. All three of us cannot wait until this movie makes its way over from New Zealand.
In honor of Dan's last night, we play one of his favorite songs from "The Gray Area." It is "He'll F*** You Up." This may be the only Christian song that Dan likes.
So, with that, we'll miss you Dan. It's been fun. Who will talk basketball with me and share M&Ms? Good luck at your new gig. The show will be off until Monday, and be sure to tune in then, as we will have some big news. I apologize to my mother. Have a good night.
posted by The Gray Area at 10:57 PM
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