Thursday, November 16

Hey! Erica here to take your calls and tell you all the deep secrets of tonight's show. We will be speaking to Michael Konik, author of "The Smart Money: How the World's Best Sports Bettors Beat the Bookies Out of Millions." Hopefully, he can help us all get some cash. I know I can use it.

7pm: The guys are proud of themselves for kicking ass on the 'tard clock. They went 45 minutes last night. Well, it had to happen sometimes, I guess.

The guys hate celebrities and interviews where they are trying to sell you something. They say that even guests can be thrown into the Pit for such an act. On their old show, they would put guests into the hot box for these things. This can't work here, because it is too cold.

Chris says that the Chronicle actually had a pretty crazy front page. The stories cover Nancy Pelosi, the tsunami in Crescent City, OJ Simpson, and the sponsorship of the Golden Gate Bridge. But, this is not what they want to focus on. More interesting, is a rogue sea lion terrorizing people in the Aquatic Park Lagoon. Supposedly, he is protecting his harem of lady sea lions.

The guys love this story, but we think that the sea lion needs a name. Oscar from Santa Clara says "Tyson." I like that. Larry from Sunnyvale likes the name "Kobe." Sadly, I missed a lot of this trying to handle a technical problem. I find out later that Brad wants to kill it. That's just not right.

From the pimp name generator on the web:
Pimp Daddy Sea Slick
Funkmaster Lion Beautiful
Algae Loco

Other names:
- Dahmer
- Bitey Bobo (thrown into the Pit)
- Quicker Nipper Upper
- Adolph Flipper
- Osama Bin Nippin'
- Kim Jung Seal

My suggestion: Nipsey Russell. This leads Chris and Brad to the topic they've wanted to do for a while. Why are they famous? Nipsey was the king of all of these people. Apparently, and I am too young to remember this, he was always on game shows. He was the guy if you couldn't get anyone else.

Drew from San Francisco is with Brad. He says that if a kid bit someone 14 times, he would get put down. So, of course they should put the sea lion down. Don't kill the sea lion.

8pm: The guys really want to go swimming with this bull. They want to get wetsuits anyway, and they know that this will be great once they have them.

We continue with the sea lion names. The suggestions for this hour:
- Sid Vicious
- Winter Coat (that's just wrong)
- Marv Albert (I love that!)
- Sushi
- Maple Saddleflaps (I don't get it)
- Chewy Francisco
- Choppers
- Mac the knife

Thanks to everyone who has had patience with us through all of our technical problems. So, unfortunately, we might not be able to take calls for a while. To all of you have stuck with us, you are rock stars.

The guys read a story about some crazy drugged out fool destroyed a man's house clothed in a sheet. He unearthed 100 plants, made a shrine of buddha on a bongo drum, left a trail of potting soil from walkway to the drum, and decorated 3 plant stands in the garage holding teddy bears.

9pm: We think the phones may have been fixed. Michael Konik has been kind enough to reschedule with us for Monday.

I call into the show, which is incredibly weird, but it sounds like our phones have been fixed. Furthermore, Chris is finally able to play things off his computer again. HOORAY!!!

The guys had been talking about Super Mario Brothers 2. As many sophomore albums, it was a huge disappointment. An emailer says that the reason was that they had not anticipated the success of Mario 1, and rushed to get out the sequel. Damn Nintendo. At least you won us back with Mario 3, which kicked ass.

Mike from Mendocino tries to set the tone. He tells us about how his friend got wasted and puked all over his stuff. In retalliation, he had no choice but to urinate all over him. So, what kind of horrible things have you had to do, in order to comply with the order of man.

Russ from Sunnyvale calls to say that Mario 2 was awesome. They get in an argument about Luigi vs. the Princess. Russ claims that Luigi is better because of the jumping, but Chris and Brad think the Princess has more versatility. I think the Princess just fulfills their fantasy to wear a pretty, pink dress. It's ok boys, I understand.

During Scott from Santa Rosa's call about Mario Kart, I care about nothing but the chance to say, "I'ma Wario, I'ma gonna ween." Ahh, I feel much better now. I think Scott was saying something about drinking during the game, sorry I was too focused on the line.

This turns into a discussion of all things Nintendo. I miss old school Nintendo. All these newfangled games now, there a just too many buttons. What happened to the days of Paperboy, Techmo Bowl and Mike Tyson Punchout? Ahh... the glory days.

10pm: We start the hour talking about Bob from New Ganata. He has become a great friend to us. The guys have met him and he even stood outside the studio holding a sign, "Surrender Dorothy to The Gray Area." Furthermore, Bob created our unofficial myspace page, www.myspace.com/grayarea1069. For this, Bob gets friend of show status with something that involves pig squeals.

The guys seem a little unsure about some of our friends on the myspace page. He thinks that we are not friends with all of these people. Some don't know who we are, and they specifically said they don't like. Joe Rogan and Dave Attell don't care about us. The San Francisco Giants don't care either. Chris uses this as an opportunity to promote his point that the flaw with myspace is that you have too many friends.

Chris makes the mistake of asking me how I feel about his argument. I agree with Chris that most of these people are not your friends. However, I have to say that I think Chris' 1 friend (Tom) is pretty sad. Even his real friends won't be his myspace friend.

As we got into a heated argument last night about tipping, Chris and Brad talk about the website, Bitterwaitress.com. This is where servers go to bitch about crappy tips left by celebrities.

I found an extremely disturbing website yesterday. It has all these crazy Black and Decker style sex machines. Seriously, these are absolutely insane. We found a section of Sleepsacks, including a Bondage balloon.

Chris brings up that all these machines block the best parts. Brad then reads a story about a S&M couple where the man killed his wife. She has a latex allergy and he stuck his fist with a latex glove down her throat. She dies, and he says that in their S&M contract, in section 4 it states that he was not allowed to kill his partner. Wow.

This has gotten pretty disturbing. So yeah, I apologize to my mother. I really am sorry.