Thursday, November 2

Hi! Erica here again. I'm back to screening tonight and Dan is running the board. Everything is back to normal. My mom got into town today to celebrate her birthday with me. She's coming into the studio tomorrow, I'm a little worried. Even scarier, she is out right now with my boyfriend drinking wine. Oh man, this can't be a good thing for me.

7pm: The guys start off talking about Brad's hair. Chris says that he has had the same haircut since he's known him. Furthermore, he has always used the same Titanium hair gel. His hair is getting a little long because he has to go to a new barber, now that he lives up here.

The guys ask me if they can say, "God bless you," to a Jew. I say, of course, Jews believe in God, but then let them know that I don't believe in God myself. This just further affirms that I'm the worst Jew ever. See, I'm a cultural Jew, I just like to stay Jewish for the jokes.

The guys see a billboard today saying, "Happiness is using less gas." The guys heard a not that funny, but accurate, Denis Leary joke, "Happiness is a cookie." By the way, I agree, I am always happier when I have a cookie. They get into a discussion about the hybrid cars and license plate wrappers. B-rock from Santa Rosa calls in to tell us what a rip off hybrids are. Chris finds B-rock interesting, but the rest of us all yawn. The point is, Chris is pissed off that anyone is trying to define happiness for him.

Chris gets all upset because his mechanic put on latex gloves to fix his tires. He takes it personally, thinking the mechanic was afraid of his disease. He is annoyed until Ernest from Oakland, a mechanic, explains to him that it's not him, tires are dirty.

The guys really keep things light, reading a story about the SFPD officer, arrested for child molestation, who commited suicide in a Cambodian jail cell. The thing is, he did so by firing 2 bullets into his mouth. How did he get two shots off? We get a couple calls with ideas, but I don't know, might be a little too graphic for me.

8pm: The guys talk about parental technical woes. Chris uses the example that your 70 year old dad won't understand the concept of myspace. However, you would expect an 18 year old girl to understand myspace, particularly if she has her own page. The story is, Heather Ann Tucci, 18, drove drunk and killed 2 of her friends. She won't talk to anyone and admits nothing. Then, she goes home and admits what she did on her myspace page. Did she really think that noone would use her posting as evidence?

Brad's daughter had her first day of school. She was almost late, was running into the school and he was worried she would fall. He tried to scare the boys, but apparently she made a guy friend. Surprisingly, after learning the boy's name, Sacha, Brad is not concerned. I just can't believe that they are talking about this on the air.

Chris and Ace have no children, but have dogs. Ace, a converted dog person, is now defending the dogs against Chris. She is more lax with them, and literally physically guards them from Chris in fear.

Brad is going through a crisis with his pets. One of his new kittens are peeing on the carpet. He wants to know if there is anyway to stop this. I had a cat growing up and it was constantly peeing in different spots in the house. We tried sprays and every other remedy, there is nothing you can do. Sorry Brad.

Yesterday, we spoke about loser magnets. Brad admits, after Chris' prodding, that his wife is one of these people. Uncomfortable telling a recent story yesterday, Brad gives in today. T has been friends with this woman about a week. Apparently, she is fresh out of rehab and still drinking. T and loser neighbor go for a dip in the hot tub. This is what this woman says: Your husband is so hot, that you will have to start working out or you will lose him. After a week of friendship, that is a pretty weird. This cannot bode well for Brad.

To end the hour, we play a Lewis Black clip we forgot to run on Halloween. This is really for me more than anyone, because I think he is hilarious. Chris and Brad decide that this may have to be a Halloween tradition for the show. It is Lewis Black ranting about candy corn, it's corn that tastes like candy. If you have never seen this, you have to get a copy of the "The End" special by Lewis Black.

9pm: To start the hour, we are giving away Tenacious D tickets for the November 20th show at Bill Graham Civic Auditorium. If you don't get a chance to play tonight, we have one more pair tomorrow. Once again, the game is Mental Speedbump. The guys give you a topic, and you have to speak on it for 60 seconds, with no pauses, ums or uhs.

- Jesse from San Jose. Jesse doesn't even get a topic because he has zero enthusiasm. Chris quickly loses patience and drops him.
- Robert from Castro Valley has more energy and gets a topic on his plans for world domination, but only lasts 14 seconds.
- Bill from Napa sounds drunk and I don't have much confidence in his abilities. I was right, his second word is an f-bomb.
- Then we go to Gabe. Gabe is only 14 and just sounds like trouble and Brad decides that he is gone.
- Nick from San Francisco is pretty funny. Hopefully, he can pull through for us. Nick doesn't say um or uh, but then uses the s-word.
- James in Mountain View starts strong and is pretty funny, but doesn't last long enough.
- Danny from Daly City finally comes through. He does a stellar job in the game and reaffirms our faith in the listeners.

Danny's victory gets three protest calls. Everyone thought that he didn't deserve the victory. These calls cause us to contemplate the game. Do the guys need to up their standards in the game? I thought Danny did well, but now I'm not so sure. My whole belief system is in question now. What do we do????

The guys have been discussing the supposed removal of Comedy Central clips from YouTube. All of us were concerned that this was the death of both The Colbert Report and YouTube. Last night, Stephen Colbert addressed this on his show. Where did I find the clip? On YouTube of course.

After a little discussion of this, Gareth from San Mateo tries to set the tone. This is one of the better tone ideas I have heard. He wants to speak of the torture that is being dragged to Ikea on your weekend.

Gareth is tired of being dragged to Ikea, buying crap that he doesn't like, and then forced by his wife to put it together. Eddie from Mill Valley is like me, he likes the stuff at Ikea, but is overwhelmed by the store. I'm the same way, everytime I go there, I get lost. People have very strong opinions on Ikea. The phones light up with people's horror stories or livid defenses of the store.

10pm: Gareth certainly gets a sack. Very good job setting the tone for us. After the few first Ikea haters, we get a slew of calls coming to the giant store's defense. These are really visual, but you should check out all those European commercials on YouTube. Love or hate the store, those are some good commercials.

Robert from Antioch doesn't like to buy things at Ikea, he just likes to go to watch people get frustrated at the store. The consensus of many callers, like Robert says, is that the store is impossible to get around in and that it's hard to put the products together. One interesting idea, is that Ikea is built like a casino: no windows, difficult exit, and one guy even thinks they pump in oxygen.

I gotta call all these guys out, I have successfully put together several things from Ikea. It's really not that hard, and I'm not particularly handy. Sorry guys, you just have to follow directions.

After all this, I have to say, I love that people have such strong opinions on Ikea. It's hilarious. I swear, if they could, some of these people would fight over it if they could.

Brad now really wants to go to Ikea to check it out. Chris seems to think that this is a bad idea. He tells the story of when Brad discovered Best Buy. He bought a ton of stuff the first day, and then went back almost everyday that week. Chris is now sure that he has lost Brad to Ikea for the next week.

Jen from Oakland even almost gets in a fight at Ikea. Jen had enough of a screaming child, and yelled at the kid to shut up. A few minutes later, mama bear charges. She comes up and yells at her friend, not her, for yelling at her kid.

Tonight was a strange, but good show. I look forward for you to all meet my mother tomorrow. Have a good night, and way to go Gareth.