Thursday, November 9

Hello my friends. Erica here once again. I am feeling much better today and you are all doing well.

7pm: The guys start with an insane video about the dangers of having a bowel movements. It is basically an old masturbation warning with bowel movements instead. My favorite part: the description of nocturnal emissions. They may often "be accompanied by dreams of logs floating down a river." So, if you are new with us, this is what we think is funny on The Gray Area.

There have been reports that the FCC will allow newscasters to use the s-word in the context of their broadcast. We are for this here, because any laxing of FCC rules is good for us. But Chris makes a good point, before they begin cursing, newscasters should learn to tell a joke. It's always just so damn awkward. Can you imagine the awful manner in which they would curse?

The only one I can imagine for this is Dennis Richmond. I am pretty intimidated by him, but he could totally pull off the cursing. By the way, based on that picture, is there anything creepier than Dennis Richmond smiling?Steve from San Jose thinks the Sportscenter guys would be great for this. I think Steve has it right. I could see Stuart Scott or my Terp, Scott Van Pelt, dropping an F-bomb.

Speaking of ESPN, is there anyone more obnoxious than Stephen A. Smith? That guy needs to take a valium. Sorry for the detour, but I really hate that guy.

The guys announce that it is Christmas already because Starbucks has broken out their Christmas cups. The hypocrisy of this: they are ripping on Starbucks, while drinking Starbucks coffee. They are upset that they are now stuck with Christmas blend for the rest of the holiday season. Christmas blend is pretty weak.

They insist that Starbucks has killed Thanksgiving. Is this the case? Was it Starbucks all along? I don't know, I think the malls may have killed Thanksgiving long before Starbucks did.

Scott calls in about a Dunkin Donuts in Hayward. This makes me so excited. I love Dunkin Donuts and thought it only exists on the East Coast. They start talking about how there are so many Starbucks. For this, my favorite Lewis Black clip must be played. I can't do it justice, so check it out.

8pm: So, I missed the first half of the 8pm hour, doing other things for the station. But, I am back now! Hooray!!!

By the way, way to go Rutgers!!! These guys were always losers of the Big East. For them to beat Louisville is crazy. I gotta say, if you are in a town like New Brunswick, you need some football success. What a hole.

I've missed most of these, but throughout the show, the guys have been playing old cigarette ads. I watched some of them before the show, and even as a smoker, this is pretty appalling. By the way, Newports are not refreshing, they are disgusting.

Did you hear that Britney dumped KFed over text message. I just want to know if she used the sad face in the message. Did she spell out the words? That's pretty harsh, but sooooo fantastic.

The guys want to know what the worst text message or email you ever received? Nick from San Jose trumps the text message bad news with myspace post. That is awful. Can you imagine someone breaking up with you by leaving a comment of your myspace page? For everyone else to see?

Michelle from Petaluma found out that her friend's 18 year old son got his 16 year old girlfriend pregnant. She found out through myspace. Michelle is angry that her friend didn't call her about it, but I don't know, maybe what her friend is going through trumps the no call.

Sam from Napa tells us about the terrible news that he got by text message. His girlfriend had been cheating on him with his roommate. His roommate let him know about this affair by a text message. That is pretty messed up. Well, at least Sam had a good attitude about it and knows he is better off without them.

9pm: Usually, I don't let callers through two nights in a row. But, John in Moraga's comment is so hilarious that I had to put him through. The guys were talking about saying grace, and John says he dated only Jewish girls in college to avoid saying grace. That is absolutely awesome.

Then, we get a call from Greg in the city who found out he knocked up his high school girlfriend over text message while stuck in in-school suspension. After Greg, Charles tells us that his girlfriend of 3 years broke up with him over myspace. What is wrong with people? I like text messaging, but come the f**k on!!!

The text message and myspace stories just get worse. Clem tells us her fiance dumped her over an email and wouldn't even return her emails or calls. What a jerk!! She was more angry about the method, than the message itself.

I feel lucky to have avoided the whole grace issue. When you're Jewish, you have an automatic out. I've been to homes that said grace, but have never been asked to participate.

All of this discussion about cruel comments posted on myspace, leads to the question: is this libel? I would think that it would be. Tony in San Jose is a lawyer with these cases pending. He tells us that you can sue for defamation of character based on a myspace posting or blog. You have to prove that these comments have harmed you. Thank you Tony for all the information on this.

I also found a few articles on USA Today and ARS Technica, that has a pretty detailed description of the laws and cases regarding this issue. It seems that we are going to be hearing about a lot of these cases in the near future. I think it seems fair that limits are placed on the statements of bloggers, like myself.

The guys highlight one case where a man is suing for the comment that he comes from a family of "nincompoops." You know that they focused on that one as an excuse to say "nincompoop."

10pm: Our friend Jim from Livermore calls in. He lives in a van, yet has a cell phone and a new radio. Jim hates everyone, but wants to enlighten us with a quote he found in a book. Jim gets a flurry of sound effects including, of course, the Pit of Mediocrity. Oh, how I love the Pit. It consistently make me smile.

The guys read a story that is just horrifying. A 600 lb man was being cremated when his body fluids became too much for the oven. They lit on fire and seeped out onto the floor. There are more details to this story, but it is too much for my delicate sensibilities. So, I apologize now for the sparseness of my blog right now, but I am a girl.

Somewhere in this, we get a call claiming that there is a drain in the crematorium because that's what soap is made of. Holy crap! That is insane. I'm not buying it, but must say, I'm glad I use liquid soap.

Christina from Palo Alto calls to tell us about the disgusting phenomenon of friendship bread. You get a little baggie to make a piece of dough, and then you pass it on. That is just a haven for germs. We are just picturing a big grayish ball of dough, with fingerprints all of it. Look at that, EWWW.

The guys kind of go all over the place to end the show. Chris saw a woman with a neck tattoo. Hmm. What can we do to make people stop getting neck tattoos? Enough is enough. Then Brad's Penile Euphemism of the Night: Gobthrobber. Ummm... yeah.

So, have a good night everyone. Tune in tomorrow, we have a lot of tickets to give away for Greg Giraldo at Cobb's Comedy Club this Sunday.