Thursday, November 30
Hey everyone. Erica here on this absolutely freezing day.
7pm: The guys start off talking about the Worst Christmas Song competition. Chris has a huge box of cds for this, and feels the need to lock it up in order to protect them. They think those such as Menace, an employee here, would be sure to steal it. They question the safety of their precious cds, because the lock has the combination pasted on the back.
Brian Spencer is trying to sell us ridiculously expensive pogo sticks. It's Extreme-Pogo. Never thought i would hear that phrase. But, the thing is, apparently he got on the front page of a section of the Chronicle for this. Chris and Brad think that he must have pictures of someone with a goat? Do photographers just follow people and goats around for these compromising photos?
Next to the pogo story, there was an article about how some of the bus stops are going to smell like cookies. This is apparently the idea of a milk company. Because apparently smelling cookies at the bus stop, will make you want milk? I guess? Although, now I really want some cookies. Dammit.
Ok, so (sigh), it is time for the Worst Christmas Song Ever. We have some pretty strong contenders tonight, and have confidence that Kathie Lee will fall from glory. She defeated Wing last night, with her and Reg's version of "Silver Bells." The best part is at the end, Kathie Lee says, "Bring it home."
The first one is AmericanGreetings.com's version of "My Humps." It is from the wise men's camels' perspective, and it is just horrible.
Number 3 is Fred McKinnon's rendition of "Oh, Holy Night." This is incredibly unholy, in every sense possible. Chris tries to couch the horror by admitting that it is very difficult song to sing, but there is no excuse for this. Upon listening, you would think it was a joke, but no, he is a worship leader with a cd.
I am so proud, because my boy Fred, wins by a landslide. I found this online yesterday, and it kicked ass. I can't really describe it, so you will have to listen, because we will definitely play this again and again.
8pm: The calls flooded as soon as Fred started to wail, and people are adamant in their vote. It is unanimous for Fred, and Chris and Brad say this is the first time in 15 years that this has happened.
We get a call from Scott in Cloverdale. He was listening in a parking lot with his windows down, and bystanders began yelling at him to turn it off. Fantastic.
Finally, we finish the Christmas music, and Brad retells a story from yesterday. Chris, Brad and I were walking to get coffee, and a homeless man approached Brad for a light. The thing is, he had a paper grocery bag filled with cigarette butts. He kept pulling them out and rejecting them. Finally, after about 2 or 3 minutes, Brad just gives him a new one, because it is just too horrible. The point is, that a smoker, will go to any depths in order to get his fix.
We got a suggestion for Barbra Streisand's version of "Jingle Bells." We were able to get 30 seconds of it off of Amazon, and it is pretty terrible. The tempo is just bizarre.
The guys go over the list of Dangerous Toys. Kids just can't fun anymore these days. One of these is the sneakers with wheels. They make the top of the list, because of the falling down aspect. Brad's daughter had a pair of these, and immediately broke her arm.
Other toys that are dangerous:
- Pyramid Stacker- which is just blocks, but can apparently cause puncturing
- Bow and Arrow Set - it is rubber-tipped with wooden arrows, but we all know you can break that right off.
- Lil' Snoopy- this would probably be fine, but has a long leash that is a choking hazard. This makes Chris sad, because its so cute, that he kinda wants one. Ok...
- Sky Blaster- it just looks like a Nerf rocket, but supposedly has potential for eye injuries.
9pm: National Lampoon has put together something with Michael Richard's rampage and Seinfeld clips. It is unedited, and the guys feel uncomfortable playing it with all the n-words. They used it when the incident occurred, but now the time has passed.
Many leaders in the black community have asked that everyone stops using the word whatsoever. Do you feel that this would be effective? Will people actually listen to this? In my opinion, probably not.
We get a lot of calls on this. Some people think that by banning usage of the word, when used again, it will hurt that much more. But, the guys would argue, that when Richards used it, it still hurt. So, it hasn't lost it's power.
Osa in Hayward is from the South. He will confront people when using the word around him. Even his own brother, has learned not to use it. Some people he has confronted, do not even understand the power of the word. He doesn't care how you are using it, or what the intent is, it is not tolerated in his presence.
Chance from Travis Airforce Base calls to say that as a black man, he hates the term "African-American." He is an American, why does it need to be qualified?
Doug from Pleasanton hopes that Richards' actions will lead to better discussion of reverse discrimination. He thinks that all the races need to get together and realize all of the types of racism out there.
10pm: The guys finish up on the Michael Richards discussion with a couple of calls. They also talk about the idea of Caucasian Land, what rides would you have?
Dan says that he thinks eventually Michael Richards will be able to recover what career he has. I think he didn't have a career anymore anyway? He just no longer stands out.
To switch gears, the guys go back to dangerous toys. What dangerous toy did you have as a child? Or what toy is dangerous, that you don't know of.
Dennis from Mountain View calls in about kerbangers aka clickety-clack. Apparently, you always ended up with huge bruises on your arm.
My favorite dangerous toy was slap bracelets. They were so utterly cool when I was 9. That was, of course, until they got banned from school because they were too dangerous.
Other Dangerous Toys:
- wrist rockets
- Radio Flyers
- homemade ninja stars
- tubey (supposedly an aluminum can cut into a ring used as a boomerang)
- lawn darts
- Swoosh (a hard plastic football with a rope through it)
- Chemistry set, but of course
This leads the guys to the value of dodgeball. You learn the necessity of your survival instincts and the value of fat people. Furthermore, you first feel the wind getting knocked out of you. I miss dodgeball, it was so fun.
All this makes me think of is Dan Aykroyd defending "Bag o' Glass" on the old Saturday Night Live episodes. Remember that, when SNL was funny? Huh. Sounds weird now.
With that, have a good night. I apologize to my mother.
7pm: The guys start off talking about the Worst Christmas Song competition. Chris has a huge box of cds for this, and feels the need to lock it up in order to protect them. They think those such as Menace, an employee here, would be sure to steal it. They question the safety of their precious cds, because the lock has the combination pasted on the back.
Brian Spencer is trying to sell us ridiculously expensive pogo sticks. It's Extreme-Pogo. Never thought i would hear that phrase. But, the thing is, apparently he got on the front page of a section of the Chronicle for this. Chris and Brad think that he must have pictures of someone with a goat? Do photographers just follow people and goats around for these compromising photos?Next to the pogo story, there was an article about how some of the bus stops are going to smell like cookies. This is apparently the idea of a milk company. Because apparently smelling cookies at the bus stop, will make you want milk? I guess? Although, now I really want some cookies. Dammit.
Ok, so (sigh), it is time for the Worst Christmas Song Ever. We have some pretty strong contenders tonight, and have confidence that Kathie Lee will fall from glory. She defeated Wing last night, with her and Reg's version of "Silver Bells." The best part is at the end, Kathie Lee says, "Bring it home."
The first one is AmericanGreetings.com's version of "My Humps." It is from the wise men's camels' perspective, and it is just horrible.
Number 3 is Fred McKinnon's rendition of "Oh, Holy Night." This is incredibly unholy, in every sense possible. Chris tries to couch the horror by admitting that it is very difficult song to sing, but there is no excuse for this. Upon listening, you would think it was a joke, but no, he is a worship leader with a cd.I am so proud, because my boy Fred, wins by a landslide. I found this online yesterday, and it kicked ass. I can't really describe it, so you will have to listen, because we will definitely play this again and again.
8pm: The calls flooded as soon as Fred started to wail, and people are adamant in their vote. It is unanimous for Fred, and Chris and Brad say this is the first time in 15 years that this has happened.
We get a call from Scott in Cloverdale. He was listening in a parking lot with his windows down, and bystanders began yelling at him to turn it off. Fantastic.
Finally, we finish the Christmas music, and Brad retells a story from yesterday. Chris, Brad and I were walking to get coffee, and a homeless man approached Brad for a light. The thing is, he had a paper grocery bag filled with cigarette butts. He kept pulling them out and rejecting them. Finally, after about 2 or 3 minutes, Brad just gives him a new one, because it is just too horrible. The point is, that a smoker, will go to any depths in order to get his fix.
We got a suggestion for Barbra Streisand's version of "Jingle Bells." We were able to get 30 seconds of it off of Amazon, and it is pretty terrible. The tempo is just bizarre.
The guys go over the list of Dangerous Toys. Kids just can't fun anymore these days. One of these is the sneakers with wheels. They make the top of the list, because of the falling down aspect. Brad's daughter had a pair of these, and immediately broke her arm.
Other toys that are dangerous:
- Pyramid Stacker- which is just blocks, but can apparently cause puncturing
- Bow and Arrow Set - it is rubber-tipped with wooden arrows, but we all know you can break that right off.
- Lil' Snoopy- this would probably be fine, but has a long leash that is a choking hazard. This makes Chris sad, because its so cute, that he kinda wants one. Ok...
- Sky Blaster- it just looks like a Nerf rocket, but supposedly has potential for eye injuries.
9pm: National Lampoon has put together something with Michael Richard's rampage and Seinfeld clips. It is unedited, and the guys feel uncomfortable playing it with all the n-words. They used it when the incident occurred, but now the time has passed.
Many leaders in the black community have asked that everyone stops using the word whatsoever. Do you feel that this would be effective? Will people actually listen to this? In my opinion, probably not.
We get a lot of calls on this. Some people think that by banning usage of the word, when used again, it will hurt that much more. But, the guys would argue, that when Richards used it, it still hurt. So, it hasn't lost it's power.
Osa in Hayward is from the South. He will confront people when using the word around him. Even his own brother, has learned not to use it. Some people he has confronted, do not even understand the power of the word. He doesn't care how you are using it, or what the intent is, it is not tolerated in his presence.
Chance from Travis Airforce Base calls to say that as a black man, he hates the term "African-American." He is an American, why does it need to be qualified?
Doug from Pleasanton hopes that Richards' actions will lead to better discussion of reverse discrimination. He thinks that all the races need to get together and realize all of the types of racism out there.
10pm: The guys finish up on the Michael Richards discussion with a couple of calls. They also talk about the idea of Caucasian Land, what rides would you have?
Dan says that he thinks eventually Michael Richards will be able to recover what career he has. I think he didn't have a career anymore anyway? He just no longer stands out.
To switch gears, the guys go back to dangerous toys. What dangerous toy did you have as a child? Or what toy is dangerous, that you don't know of.
Dennis from Mountain View calls in about kerbangers aka clickety-clack. Apparently, you always ended up with huge bruises on your arm.
My favorite dangerous toy was slap bracelets. They were so utterly cool when I was 9. That was, of course, until they got banned from school because they were too dangerous.
Other Dangerous Toys:
- wrist rockets
- Radio Flyers
- homemade ninja stars
- tubey (supposedly an aluminum can cut into a ring used as a boomerang)
- lawn darts
- Swoosh (a hard plastic football with a rope through it)
- Chemistry set, but of course
This leads the guys to the value of dodgeball. You learn the necessity of your survival instincts and the value of fat people. Furthermore, you first feel the wind getting knocked out of you. I miss dodgeball, it was so fun.All this makes me think of is Dan Aykroyd defending "Bag o' Glass" on the old Saturday Night Live episodes. Remember that, when SNL was funny? Huh. Sounds weird now.
With that, have a good night. I apologize to my mother.
posted by The Gray Area at 7:02 PM
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