Wednesday, February 21st

Hey everyone. Hope you are having a good week. For your viewing pleasure, here again is the scrogina picture. Isn't that just lovely?

7pm: The guys mock the Razor scooter, particularly those ridden by grown men. Yeah, that's not really a great look. Chris says he saw a little tard coming up in the world. He saw a little boy on the scooter, with two wheels in the back, as opposed to the usual one. Chris felt sad for him, noting that these are scooter training wheels. The reason he can relate is because he did not learn to ride a bike until nine years old. Awww.

Brad follows this trip down memory lane. When he figured it out, he went about 3 miles, because he was so excited he could do so.

So, because we can't ignore it, we play the audio of Anna Nicole Smith in clown make-up. She is so disoriented that she is unable to even understand the camera. Your whole career revolves around a camera. Howard K. Stern was incredibly creepy in his narration.

From here, we have to talk about the court proceedings today. If you did not watch, it is an absolute circus. Everyone is speaking over one another and the judge follows no procedural rules. Furthermore, Anna Nicole's mother testified, although she had not seen her daughter in ten years. This whole thing turns into more and more of a disaster everyday.

The guys don't understand why anyone would fight over the body. Even worse than Anna Nicole, James Brown still has not been buried as of yet. He died December 25th, meaning that his body must be in pretty bad condition.

James in San Jose calls to discuss the fight over Anna's body. He thinks the fight is a matter of respect. I'm not sure if that is the case in this situation. The more I see of the court proceedings, it seems that the battle is really to invalidate the will. I don't know enough about the will and what that involves, but it seems to make the most sense.

So, in more celebrity news, Britney is already out of rehab. She was in for all of seventeen hours. Wow, that is an amazing recovery. I am impressed.

8pm: Chris points out that the unheralded instrument in music is the drumsticks kicking together. This is the moment, where you know something rockin' is coming your way.

Completely unrelated, the Terps have won their 21st game tonight against Florida State. What does this mean? The return of Maryland in March Madness. You might not care, but I am f-ing stoked. The tourney is just not the same without my turtles.

In talking about Daylight Savings, the guys start talking about how their women are unable to make anywhere on time. Ace sets her clock twenty minutes early and is still late for work everyday. Brad says that T is perpetually late as well, and that it drives him nuts.

So, now onto the topic. We are talking about the white trash element. The guys contend that all of us, have some piece of white trash built into them. They also want to know what the word is in minority communities.

Technical Steve in SF says that "white trash" is an inherently racist term. Apparently, the qualifier "white" was implying that all other ethnic groups are already trash. As a black man, he says that the synonym in the black community is "ghetto" or "loud and wrong."

Daniel in Strawberry tells us that for Puerto Ricans, "jibaro" is their version of "white trash." This means "hill people." Deborah in Antioch says that in the latino community, "low-brow" is the term for this.

Here's the list of "white trash" terms for other ethnic groups:

- Latinos - "indio"

- Mexicans - "chunt" and "beaner"

- Black - "ghetto fabulous"

- Asians- "FOB"

- Italians - "Guido"

9pm: The theme throughout the night has been the addition of "little boy" to the end of any question. Dan offered Chris some M&M's before the show and ended the question with "little boy." As soon as those words came from his mouth, Chris no longer wanted any of the delicious little candies.

In Yiddish, the closest term would be "schmendrick." But, I don't know if that's really the same thing, as Jewish people would never call anyone in their group a version of trash. I have learned from my wonderful Cuban boyfriend, that "juahiro" is the word in that culture.

Kelen fills us in on the Irish, telling us that "mick" is their word for "white trash."

David in Marin asks what the White Trash pet would be? Brad thinks that it is not what the pet is, it is how many they have. Chris says any dog that they refer to as "half- wolf." Brad also says the potbellied pig.

Other white trash pets:

- Any dog that is half-rott or half-pitt

- Opossum

- Ferret

- A big-ass snake (that was mine but a caller stole it)

Brad continues with his argument for the pig. He points out that they make awful noises and are dirty. Chris continues with that these people are always trying to tell you how smart they are.

I think an iguana is a pretty typical white trash pet. Especially those huge ones that people have leashes for. Although I have to admit, I really wanted one as a kid. My parents got me a stupid guinea pig instead.

10pm: We continue with the white trash conversation and the pets, specifically. I would say at this point, David in Marin gets credit for a sack.

Chris in Richmond wants to defend ferrets. He claims that his are perfectly potty-trained and clean. He tries to say he is not white trash, but drives a truck and is from El Sobrante. Hmm, yeah dude, you are definitely white trash. Just accept it. The topper: he is going to buy a snake this weekend.

Mike in Morgan Hill's response to Chris is that "anytime you have to buy pets, to feed your pets, you are white trash." That is fantastic. Way to go Mike.

We had requested to speak to Chris' girlfriend, wanting to know her honest opinion of his ferrets. Hopefully, as he is listening, she will speak freely. Also, we would like her to admit that she is white trash. She says that they are fuzzy and cute, so that sold her.

Tim in Palo Alto says that if you have anything that squeaks, you are white trash. He even mentions guinea pigs. I had a guinea pig and I am definitely not white trash. However, because I hated it, they realize that I may be an exception. Then once again, I have to do the guinea pig squeaking impression.

Chris admits he has had a white trash moment. He went to Target and bought a really nice pillow. He has had it several days and does not have a pillowcase for it. So, he has been funking it up by sleeping on it. Brad is aware that he has also been guilty of this redneck sin.

Chris presents a dilemma. He hates Christmas and Ace loves the holiday. This year, he gave in and let her decorate. They got about 4,000 lights for inside and outside. The thing is, they are still up and still being used. This is blowing their PG&E bill out of the water. She defends having them on, saying that they are not using the regular lights. Chris honestly has to ask if it is white trash to have them on during the summer.

John in Moraga calls to talk about the marble statues and the racist black jockey in his neighbor's front yard. Brad thinks he should say, "Hey, I'm sorry those hoodlums stole your lawn jockey." John had confronted the neighbor and asked him to remove the jockey, as it was so offensive. The neighbor said no, so John went to war. Somehow, little presents were left on his lawn following this. Eventually, when the neighbor moved, he sold the home with the stipulation that the statues stayed. That is hardcore.

Well, with that I say goodnight and apologize to my mother.