Wednesday, February 7th
Hi everyone, Erica here again on this really dreary Wednesday. Chris is back today after a rough couple of days.
7pm: Chris starts off by thanking everyone for being supportive while his dog is so sick. After thanking Brad for helping him out, he says he is pissed off at him. He thought that he had heard every story of Brad's to date, but had not heard the story about T and the bathroom. So, to make Chris happy, Brad decides to retell this disgusting tale.
Several years ago, Brad and T went to a bar, and met some of her friends there. The friends invited them to come back to their apartment, and they obliged. So, they are all there hanging out and drinking. T gets up to go to the bathroom and is gone for about twenty minutes. After a while, Brad is getting concerned. Finally, T comes out of the bathroom looking agitated and upset, and races outside to smoke a cigarette. This is bizarre, because they are all smoking inside. After only about thirty seconds, she comes back in, and demands that they leave right away. In the car, this is what she tells Brad.
T had gone to the bathroom, and did not realize the toilet was completely broken. Based on what she had done, this is a disaster. She tries to fix it, and there is no chance of this happening. So, she decides to hide it and wanted to throw it out the window, but the window is painted shut. Then she tries to use some air freshener, and sprays herself in the eye.
At this point, T is getting more and more panicked. So, she rolls up a bunch of toilet paper to grab it out of the toilet. Then she wrapped it with about a roll and a half of toilet paper. She has decided to smuggle it out. She has a big jacket with her, so she hides it in her jacket and zips it up. She runs outside, and throws it into the neighbor's yard. Upon its arrival there, the chickens and dogs in the yard begin fighting over it. Wow.
Of course, throughout all of this, Chris has to make the story even worse than it is. He has to ask all sorts of revolting questions.
Scott in SF has a solution for the rest of us, if you get in that situation. Apparently, you can fill the toilet bowl with water and it will force flush.
Big Shirl in San Jose has been listening to this story with her three kids. She says that she has never laughed so hard. She says that she would have left it and told them their toilet was broken.
8pm: Leroy in Newark had to go to the bathroom very badly and broke into a vacant apartment to do so. He goes, and realizes that the toilet has not been installed completely, meaning no handle or water. So, of course he left it for the poor landlord. They thought this was so funny, that they started breaking into other vacant apartments to do the same thing.
Delaney in Fairfield was on a first date with a guy and was showing him around town. She all of the sudden, has to go the bathroom desperately. They stop at a gas station, and the bathroom is absolutely disgusting. She decides there is no way, so she speeds to her house and runs in the house. She even leaves him in the car and told him to let himself in. He never said a word until about four months in, when he told the story and called her out at a family bbq.
Wow, this is a really fantastic topic. I am so happy that this is the discussion tonight.
Chris tells us that he eats watermelon seeds. Didn't his mother ever tell him that they would grow in his stomach if he did that? He also eats cherry pits. What a freak of nature. Chris even asserts that eating these are common. Jacob in Milpitas calls to tell Chris that he might not want to do that because cherry pits contain cyanide.
When typing "cyanide" into Google to check the spelling, this is the sponsored link that came up. "Great deals on Cyanide, Shop on eBay and Save!" Um, is eBay selling cyanide? That seems like a problem. Although at least your poisoning plots are now cost-effective.
9pm: Brad is still hanging strong not smoking, but is on the patch. He is cutting the patch in half, but this actually gives you more nicotine than if in tact. Of course, Dan jumps and tells him that he has to just do it, and screw the patch.
Brad says that he is using the patch, because it leaves him far less cranky than if going cold turkey. I'm glad he's using the patch in that case.
Dan calls me out for my smoking habit, and I am determined to quit by my 25th birthday in June. I have it worked out in my head that you can do anything to your body before you are 25. I don't know if that's true, but I like the rationalization.
Rico in SF says he is taking a pill to quit smoking that is messing with his taste buds. It is not Wellbutrin, however, which messes with your head.
So, in talking about aversive therapy, Chris admits that as a child, his parents had to use this on him. He had special sheets that would sound an alarm when he wet the bed. How embarrassing.
We also jump all over Chris, saying what great shows we had when he was not around. Poor Chris, it's just so easy sometimes. He then wonders what is the deal with saying that you "really appreciate it." But, that does not mean "I owe you." Does that just mean thank you, or that something is received in return?
10pm: Gavin Newsom has entered into rehab in Delancey Street, which is a minimum 2 year committment. Hmm, doesn't that seem like a convenient time for Newsom to realize he has a problem. What a crock.
Joe in the East Bay wants to set a tone, with how when musicians die, their album sales increase. He wants to know would these young musicians be legends had they not died? Particularly, he points out Kurt Cobain. The guys wonder about James Dean. Would he really have been the iconic had he not died?
Sean in Newark points out that Joe had touted Sublime over Nirvana. He thinks that Nirvana was much more influential than Sublime ever would have been. This is my thing about Sublime. I really like the band, but admit it is hard to say what they would have done if Brad had not died. However, with "40 Oz to Freedom," Sublime was able to create an album that can be played at a party with any crowd in their 20's or 30's. That is an enormous accomplishment.
After I defend the brilliance of Sublime, we start talking about reggae. I really like reggae, Chris totally makes fun of it. Brad likes "Smoke Two Joints." Dan then, of course, talks about when he went to Jamaica, because he has been everywhere. He bought a pound of weed for only $40. That is a deal and a half.
Chris says that all reggae songs are the same, and claims that you cannot listen to more than three songs in a row. I can listen to whole albums, so I totally disagree. Damon in Sacramento also calls to defend Rasta and reggae. He has dreds and actually does not smoke herb. He used to, but does not anymore.
Anyway, with that, I apologize to my mother, profusely. Have a good night.
7pm: Chris starts off by thanking everyone for being supportive while his dog is so sick. After thanking Brad for helping him out, he says he is pissed off at him. He thought that he had heard every story of Brad's to date, but had not heard the story about T and the bathroom. So, to make Chris happy, Brad decides to retell this disgusting tale.
Several years ago, Brad and T went to a bar, and met some of her friends there. The friends invited them to come back to their apartment, and they obliged. So, they are all there hanging out and drinking. T gets up to go to the bathroom and is gone for about twenty minutes. After a while, Brad is getting concerned. Finally, T comes out of the bathroom looking agitated and upset, and races outside to smoke a cigarette. This is bizarre, because they are all smoking inside. After only about thirty seconds, she comes back in, and demands that they leave right away. In the car, this is what she tells Brad.
T had gone to the bathroom, and did not realize the toilet was completely broken. Based on what she had done, this is a disaster. She tries to fix it, and there is no chance of this happening. So, she decides to hide it and wanted to throw it out the window, but the window is painted shut. Then she tries to use some air freshener, and sprays herself in the eye.
At this point, T is getting more and more panicked. So, she rolls up a bunch of toilet paper to grab it out of the toilet. Then she wrapped it with about a roll and a half of toilet paper. She has decided to smuggle it out. She has a big jacket with her, so she hides it in her jacket and zips it up. She runs outside, and throws it into the neighbor's yard. Upon its arrival there, the chickens and dogs in the yard begin fighting over it. Wow.
Of course, throughout all of this, Chris has to make the story even worse than it is. He has to ask all sorts of revolting questions.
Scott in SF has a solution for the rest of us, if you get in that situation. Apparently, you can fill the toilet bowl with water and it will force flush.
Big Shirl in San Jose has been listening to this story with her three kids. She says that she has never laughed so hard. She says that she would have left it and told them their toilet was broken.
8pm: Leroy in Newark had to go to the bathroom very badly and broke into a vacant apartment to do so. He goes, and realizes that the toilet has not been installed completely, meaning no handle or water. So, of course he left it for the poor landlord. They thought this was so funny, that they started breaking into other vacant apartments to do the same thing.
Delaney in Fairfield was on a first date with a guy and was showing him around town. She all of the sudden, has to go the bathroom desperately. They stop at a gas station, and the bathroom is absolutely disgusting. She decides there is no way, so she speeds to her house and runs in the house. She even leaves him in the car and told him to let himself in. He never said a word until about four months in, when he told the story and called her out at a family bbq.
Wow, this is a really fantastic topic. I am so happy that this is the discussion tonight.
Chris tells us that he eats watermelon seeds. Didn't his mother ever tell him that they would grow in his stomach if he did that? He also eats cherry pits. What a freak of nature. Chris even asserts that eating these are common. Jacob in Milpitas calls to tell Chris that he might not want to do that because cherry pits contain cyanide.
When typing "cyanide" into Google to check the spelling, this is the sponsored link that came up. "Great deals on Cyanide, Shop on eBay and Save!" Um, is eBay selling cyanide? That seems like a problem. Although at least your poisoning plots are now cost-effective.
9pm: Brad is still hanging strong not smoking, but is on the patch. He is cutting the patch in half, but this actually gives you more nicotine than if in tact. Of course, Dan jumps and tells him that he has to just do it, and screw the patch.
Brad says that he is using the patch, because it leaves him far less cranky than if going cold turkey. I'm glad he's using the patch in that case.
Dan calls me out for my smoking habit, and I am determined to quit by my 25th birthday in June. I have it worked out in my head that you can do anything to your body before you are 25. I don't know if that's true, but I like the rationalization.
Rico in SF says he is taking a pill to quit smoking that is messing with his taste buds. It is not Wellbutrin, however, which messes with your head.
So, in talking about aversive therapy, Chris admits that as a child, his parents had to use this on him. He had special sheets that would sound an alarm when he wet the bed. How embarrassing.
We also jump all over Chris, saying what great shows we had when he was not around. Poor Chris, it's just so easy sometimes. He then wonders what is the deal with saying that you "really appreciate it." But, that does not mean "I owe you." Does that just mean thank you, or that something is received in return?
10pm: Gavin Newsom has entered into rehab in Delancey Street, which is a minimum 2 year committment. Hmm, doesn't that seem like a convenient time for Newsom to realize he has a problem. What a crock.
Joe in the East Bay wants to set a tone, with how when musicians die, their album sales increase. He wants to know would these young musicians be legends had they not died? Particularly, he points out Kurt Cobain. The guys wonder about James Dean. Would he really have been the iconic had he not died?
Sean in Newark points out that Joe had touted Sublime over Nirvana. He thinks that Nirvana was much more influential than Sublime ever would have been. This is my thing about Sublime. I really like the band, but admit it is hard to say what they would have done if Brad had not died. However, with "40 Oz to Freedom," Sublime was able to create an album that can be played at a party with any crowd in their 20's or 30's. That is an enormous accomplishment.
After I defend the brilliance of Sublime, we start talking about reggae. I really like reggae, Chris totally makes fun of it. Brad likes "Smoke Two Joints." Dan then, of course, talks about when he went to Jamaica, because he has been everywhere. He bought a pound of weed for only $40. That is a deal and a half.
Chris says that all reggae songs are the same, and claims that you cannot listen to more than three songs in a row. I can listen to whole albums, so I totally disagree. Damon in Sacramento also calls to defend Rasta and reggae. He has dreds and actually does not smoke herb. He used to, but does not anymore.
Anyway, with that, I apologize to my mother, profusely. Have a good night.
posted by The Gray Area at 6:59 PM
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