Monday, April 9th
Hey Everyone!! I'm back from vacation. I'm sick but I am here. But, I had a great time and am glad to be back. Because my voice is pretty much gone, I am Lord of the Board today.
1pm: (This is weird to be on so early). The guys start off talking about "The Sopranos." I have not seen the first episode of the season yet, but Chris says that it absolutely sucks. He lets us know that somehow they all got fatter, and that Janice looks even worse than usual. As I passed out at 9:30 last night, I have not seen it yet, but I am sad to hear that it was lackluster.
Somehow in talking to Bob in Discovery Bay, we start talking about drunk emails and the utter peril found in the Send All button. Why is it next to the Send button? Is it just a cruel joke by the email servers? Enough is enough, Yahoo and Gmail. Protect us from ourselves and ask if we are sure. You do for everything else, why not this?
Jason in Petaluma throws out an interesting question: sex with a 300 lb woman or a hot transgendered person? This is actually a pretty difficult choice. The guys change it to a pre-op tranny and a 400 lb woman. Brad and Jason both pick the obese woman and Chris goes with the tranny. The thing we find out from Heidi, is that Jason completely jacked this question from the Adam Corolla Show. Don't steal from other shows to set the tone, you moron!
Program Coordinator, Cory, stops in the studio to inform us about his dental woes. He had a laser cleaning treatment done on his teeth last week and had not been informed of all the craziness this involves. He is not allowed to brush his teeth or floss for ten days and is banned from eating soft foods. This leads to a discussion about having sex at the dentist.
This, of course, devolves into a discussion of checklist fantasies. These are those things that you have fantasized about, but only do once. Chris starts talking about something that a woman can perform on a man in the car. I won't go more into detail, but I'm sure you can figure out what I mean.
Jason in San Leandro says that his is to have sex in front of a huge crowd. Chris is surprised that Jason thinks he would be able to pull it off under all that pressure.
2pm: Will in Vallejo calls in as a follow-up to Jason. He talks about swinger parties where you are able to fulfill that fantasy. Chris and Brad cannot understand this. They would be afraid that no matter how good you are, your woman will eventually find someone who is better than you in bed. I just don't understand that whole lifestyle. I could never do that.
Brad brings up sex in or under water. He says it's awful. Chris says the water is fantastic for foreplay because of the loss of gravity. But, once you make that transition, it loses all of its glory. Brad admits that he has never had sex on a beach. He does want to because he has heard over and over how bad it is.
Rob in Sonoma says sex in an elevator. He says he liked the thrill that they did not stop the elevator. Chris and Brad say they are afraid of stopping the elevator because you never know if the alarm is going to go off. But what would actually happen if you got caught stopping an elevator? Is there an elevator police?
Brad tells us a little about his Easter. He went down to Fresno and stays at T's mothers. She was going to be gone for three weeks and they are left to lock up the house. They put the cats out and Brad locks all the doors. He had it set up so that once you shut the doors there is no way back in.
Brad is left to only leave by climbing over the 8 foot high backfence. He is teetering on the top and is left to jump down. T offers to help him, but he refuses the gesture. He was confident that it was no different than when he jumped this far as a kid. When he finally goes, he lands hard and is immense internal pain. In stubborness, he pretends he is fine as he cannot admit to T that he hurt himself.
Chris' Easter was pretty good. Something leads him to his assertion that he there is a kernel of truth in all stereotypes. Today, this is focused on the Valley vatos. He had to go to an extremely rural Valley town to celebrate the resurrection and bunnies. They come across a crowded lake. Chris sees a raft led by a group of vatos. On this raft, the Virgin Mary!!! What???!!!!
The guys get an email from FG. She wants to tell the guys all about her sexual fantasy checklist and goes into great detail. This completely throws Brad off his game.
Carlos in Oakland brings up sex on an air hockey table that's on. That sounds really crazy. Does the girl skate across the table like the puck?
Wow, that was weird and fast. I apologize to my mother, have a good afternoon.
1pm: (This is weird to be on so early). The guys start off talking about "The Sopranos." I have not seen the first episode of the season yet, but Chris says that it absolutely sucks. He lets us know that somehow they all got fatter, and that Janice looks even worse than usual. As I passed out at 9:30 last night, I have not seen it yet, but I am sad to hear that it was lackluster.
Somehow in talking to Bob in Discovery Bay, we start talking about drunk emails and the utter peril found in the Send All button. Why is it next to the Send button? Is it just a cruel joke by the email servers? Enough is enough, Yahoo and Gmail. Protect us from ourselves and ask if we are sure. You do for everything else, why not this?
Jason in Petaluma throws out an interesting question: sex with a 300 lb woman or a hot transgendered person? This is actually a pretty difficult choice. The guys change it to a pre-op tranny and a 400 lb woman. Brad and Jason both pick the obese woman and Chris goes with the tranny. The thing we find out from Heidi, is that Jason completely jacked this question from the Adam Corolla Show. Don't steal from other shows to set the tone, you moron!
Program Coordinator, Cory, stops in the studio to inform us about his dental woes. He had a laser cleaning treatment done on his teeth last week and had not been informed of all the craziness this involves. He is not allowed to brush his teeth or floss for ten days and is banned from eating soft foods. This leads to a discussion about having sex at the dentist.
This, of course, devolves into a discussion of checklist fantasies. These are those things that you have fantasized about, but only do once. Chris starts talking about something that a woman can perform on a man in the car. I won't go more into detail, but I'm sure you can figure out what I mean.
Jason in San Leandro says that his is to have sex in front of a huge crowd. Chris is surprised that Jason thinks he would be able to pull it off under all that pressure.
2pm: Will in Vallejo calls in as a follow-up to Jason. He talks about swinger parties where you are able to fulfill that fantasy. Chris and Brad cannot understand this. They would be afraid that no matter how good you are, your woman will eventually find someone who is better than you in bed. I just don't understand that whole lifestyle. I could never do that.
Brad brings up sex in or under water. He says it's awful. Chris says the water is fantastic for foreplay because of the loss of gravity. But, once you make that transition, it loses all of its glory. Brad admits that he has never had sex on a beach. He does want to because he has heard over and over how bad it is.
Rob in Sonoma says sex in an elevator. He says he liked the thrill that they did not stop the elevator. Chris and Brad say they are afraid of stopping the elevator because you never know if the alarm is going to go off. But what would actually happen if you got caught stopping an elevator? Is there an elevator police?
Brad tells us a little about his Easter. He went down to Fresno and stays at T's mothers. She was going to be gone for three weeks and they are left to lock up the house. They put the cats out and Brad locks all the doors. He had it set up so that once you shut the doors there is no way back in.
Brad is left to only leave by climbing over the 8 foot high backfence. He is teetering on the top and is left to jump down. T offers to help him, but he refuses the gesture. He was confident that it was no different than when he jumped this far as a kid. When he finally goes, he lands hard and is immense internal pain. In stubborness, he pretends he is fine as he cannot admit to T that he hurt himself.
Chris' Easter was pretty good. Something leads him to his assertion that he there is a kernel of truth in all stereotypes. Today, this is focused on the Valley vatos. He had to go to an extremely rural Valley town to celebrate the resurrection and bunnies. They come across a crowded lake. Chris sees a raft led by a group of vatos. On this raft, the Virgin Mary!!! What???!!!!
The guys get an email from FG. She wants to tell the guys all about her sexual fantasy checklist and goes into great detail. This completely throws Brad off his game.
Carlos in Oakland brings up sex on an air hockey table that's on. That sounds really crazy. Does the girl skate across the table like the puck?
Wow, that was weird and fast. I apologize to my mother, have a good afternoon.
posted by The Gray Area at 1:03 PM
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