Monday, October 23

Hi! It's Erica here and I hope you all had a great weekend. I know I did. Except for the damn Redskins, but we won't go into that. Hey at least we're not the Cardinals, losing to the Raiders??!! We have

7pm: Chris starts off bitching about John Mellencamp singing, "This Is Our Country," during the World Series pre-game. We all know this song from the Chevy commercials, and he points out that this is first song to sell out before it is even a single. Brad is mostly concerned with his hair. Chris thinks that you can either sell it as a commercial jingle or as a single. Not both.

From here the guys go to "Best, Worst, Scariest, Funniest"
Best: Brad's is the Pacifica pier, Chris' is going to the Livermore airport still thriving
Worst: Brad's is that he overheard someone talking about Coyote being funny. T, Brad's wife, is so offended by that opinion, that she walks out of the restaurant.
Chris' worst is when he goes by the golf course by Patterson on the 5. Fortunately, I have not yet done that drive, so I have no idea what he's referring to.
Scariest: Brad's is a visit to one of the discount clothing stores. He had to leave the store because he was so frustrated with the poorness of the help there. I can't even go into those stores. It's just so damn disorganized and stressful.
Chris' is that he realized on the drive, that he hadn't looked into his rearview mirror for like 2 hours.
Funniest: Brad's is that he went to See's Candies. He was trying to put a lollipop into his daughter's purse, and pushing her along. She wouldn't budge, until Brad realizes that it is not in fact, his daughter. Chris' is a song that he heard at Starbucks, but I suck, and missed the funny line.

The scariest thing for me today was going to get dim sum. I always end up ordering whatever, because I am afraid of the counter people. Why are the people at the dim-sum places always so damn mean?

Chris found the following ad in the Pennysaver:
ANTIQUE DENTIST TOOLS
Sell or trade for needed dental work, please. In pain.

Wow, that's a little bizarre. They wonder how much pain you must be in to place that ad. After looking at pics online, I am certainly glad to be in the 21st century. Brad asks if he doesn't realize how long that will take for this to work. They ask me to call the number on the ad during break, I wonder how this will go.

The guys are upset that "Deadwood" has been cancelled. Chris has loved it from the get-go, and Brad is just getting into it. Dan and Chris have a little tiff about the plans for the last episodes. Somehow they drag me into the whole argument. Damn, I've never even seen it.

The point is they wonder what shows you like, that were cancelled too soon. Number 1 on all the lists is "Firefly." I was prodded to see the pilot and wasn't too impressed. It seemed to overdramatic, just like "Buffy."

8pm: I'm still trying to reach the antique dentist tools guys. No answer though and no information on the voicemail. There is something sketchy about this.

James from American Canyon tries to set the tone with a story about a guy siphoning diesel out of a semi into a 5-gallon bucket. So, what is the craziest thing that you have seen in the car?

Although we still get a few calls about cancelled shows, James successfully sets the tone. We hear about a windshield shattering on the freeway, a dog flying out of a car window, and people cutting live wires in Detroit.

This is interrupted after a call from Anthony from San Francisco. If you don't remember, last week we gave Anthony Playboy Mansion tickets for having the worst wife ever. She has one hell of a temper, but when we spoke to her, she seemed to be sweet. Apparently, after he got home, she went all out on him. She even hit him over the head with glass and she put his car into park while he was driving.

He tells us that tonight, she left him. There have been other problems, but it supposedly has been escalating since we spoke to them. If everything Anthony is saying is true, this woman is incredibly abusive. He is better off without her and her violent behavior.

She will, however, probably come back. He has been supporting her and is putting her through nursing school.

Charles from Oakland tells us a story about a strip tease he got driving down the 5. This reminds Chris of a whorehouse in a tractor-trailer that used to be on the 99. He says that you would go in the trailer and do your thing rolling down the highway. Wow, that is some seedy, seedy behavior.

9pm: To start the hour, we get a few more calls about crazy things you've seen while driving. Jay says he saw a car where the driver is putting on her make-up, the passenger is steering and reading a book. Wow. I thought it was bad when I saw people reading a newspaper while driving in the city.

Seriously, what is wrong with people? I mean, I talk on my phone while driving, but I feel ok about that compared to these drivers.

So, I got a return call from the antique dentist tools ad. The ad is apparently over a month old, and the tools have already been sold. The woman I spoke to was uneasy about the situation and said that it was not her tools. She did, however, say that she would give our number to the desperate individual. Hopefully, she will call. Honestly, I am just shocked that it was a woman.

Jeff from Auburn calls in with great story about stupid things while driving. He saw a woman, shaving her legs while driving. She had her leg up on the dash, foam and all, cut herself, and then PUT HER FOOT THROUGH THE WINDOW!! Holy Crap!!!

While I am looking for stupid driving videos on YouTube, Chris is talking about the golf game on his cell phone. What drives him nuts is that even when you do things right, the ball still sometimes goes nowhere. The video I found is an interview with America's Worst Driver. Wow, she really shouldn't have a license.

Chris reads a story about a woman who woke up blind from drinking too much Jager. Man, how much Jager must that have been? I knew Jager was bad news, but I didn't know it was this bad.
Vegemite has been banned for consumption in the US. After reading in Wikipedia about what it is, I'm glad. That is just gross. Yeast extract left over from brewing beer. I worked in a brewery and have seen what that looks like. Imagine that beige pond scum you see in a sewer creek. Eww.

10pm: To make me happy, the guys decide to rush through the Exotic Erotic Expo tickets. The winners to the Expo are: Nate in Hayward, Tsyon in Fremont, Alex in Forestville, Jim in Oakdale, and Ike in Vallejo. Congratulations to Alex in San Rafael for winning tickets to both the Expo and the Ball.

Killing time while I'm taking calls, the guys read a story about an Alabama candidate for governor. She is no normal candidate, she is using her cleavage as a means to get attention. She even has t-shirts and marijuana stash boxes with pics of her boobies. Well, at least she knows how to work with what she's got.

Gullibility is one of my favorite traits in a listener. Sean from SF calls in after Chris and Brad joke that they don't like 4 hour listeners. He said he was mad and hung up. Called back and hung up after we teased him, and finally went on the air. Although, I guess he was joking, so now maybe I am the gullible one. Dammit.

Eli from Sonoma makes me feel better though. He calls to say that he had completely bought the joke that the Red Bull planes were model planes. I can't tease him too much though, I bought it too. Yeah, maybe I'm not that smart.

Brad reads one of his favorite stories of the day. Apparently, this guy catches sharks from his 6th story apartment while playing Playstation. He just leaves his pole rigged to a bell on the balcony, and leaves the game when the bell rings.

This method angers Chris because of its lazy nature. I'm with you Chris, I want to see hand-to-paw combat in hunting. At least use a bow and arrow. But, don't go out there and use an assault rifle to hunt a deer and call it a sport. Brad feels a little differently. For such a nice guy, he sure has a thirst for prey.

This clip from "South Park" is how I see hunters.

Chris tells a story about when he and girlfriend, Ace, went deep sea fishing in Hawaii. She kicked his ass and caught a much larger fish than he did. But, they each caught a marlin. What is bulls**t is that he doesn't get to keep the whole fish. He does, however, get to keep a cooler full of fish.

What's bad... on the flight back to the mainland, he stored the cooler of marlin in the overhead bin a few rows behind. Halfway through the flight, the cooler starts leaking onto the head of the poor guy underneath the compartment. That has got to be the worst, to finish your flight covered in cold, marlin juices. Ugh.

To end the show classy as ever, Brad's penile euphemism of the day: Flirty Sanchez. And with that, I apologize to my mother. I really am sorry. Have a good night.