Monday, December 2

Hi everyone, Erica here. We have a big show for you tonight. We will be speaking to Bob Mendelsohn from Jews for Jesus, doing the Christmas song competition, and giving away Guns N Roses tickets. Tonight should be Jewtastic!!

7pm: To start tonight, the guys give me crap because I bought my first Christmas tree yesterday. I have no idea what kind of tree we got, and we apparently were ripped-off. They try and convince me that I now need to be baptized by the water under the tree. I think I will pass on that one. Thanks anyway though.

It is time for the Jews for Jesus interview. Mendelsohn is the Director of Jews for Jesus - Australia. I think the guys are a little offended that we couldn't get anyone from the American branch.

Chris starts off by asking whether or not the organization is Christian. Right away, Bob says yes. He claims that they are Christians that want to maintain their Jewish heritage. I have to say that this was difficult for me. I really wanted to lay into him. As a Jew by culture, I got pretty pissed off when he said that you can't be more Jewish, than to accept Jesus as the savior.
I might not be religious, and I might be a bad Jew, but that is such a load of bull.

8pm: There is a protester, Running Wolf, in Berkeley living in a tree to save it from development. We have sent Marcus there to heckle this guy. He is equipped with a bullhorn. That is a scary thought. Chris says that he doesn't want them to chop down the tree, but can't be behind a guy like that.

Marcus is interviewing Running Wolf, and we can hear him surprisingly well, considering that he is in a tree. Apparently, there are 3 guys staying in trees. But, the thing is, they get down to go to class. What the hell? That doesn't seem like dedication to me.

John from Moraga thinks that we should blast the Worst Christmas Songs at the tree. Hearing our version of "Oh, Holy Night" is bound to drive away even the most dedicated protester. Brad thinks that we should surround the tree with people chanting "jump."

Marcus completely wanders away from the tree during break. Doesn't he know that's the whole reason we sent him up there? And then Marcus totally blows the question, "Do you know you're in the wrong tree?" Dan thinks that Marcus should go up into the tree, and stay there.

9pm: Marcus reveals that this guy is 43. Wow, that is a lot older than I expected. In discussing Marcus' danger level, Dan wants to know if he feels more threatened at the tree or in staff meetings. That is fantastic.

The guys and I are talking about my first Christmas. Chris tries to convince me that the Jews need to make Hankukah better. We are always feeling left out this time of year, so we might as well just improve it. I'm with this idea, Chinese food and movies, just doesn't cut it. Brad disagrees. He thinks that Hanukkah can't compete, so that we should just do something else, and celebrate in our own way. We finally come up with the idea for Hanukkah fireworks. I think that's a sweet idea.

Marcus lets us know that ABC news has showed up. The guys try and convince him to mess up their broadcast until CBS news gets there. They also think that now would be the time, for him to start chanting "Jump." They are also a little upset with him for forgetting to bring the banners, since we couldv'e gotten some free press if he had tacked them to the tree.

The guys explain the history of our relationship with Marcus. When Jim Norton came to the show, about a month ago, Marcus made a boo boo. Right before he went on the air, Marcus informed him that he had to cut a bit from the Opie and Anthony show. This, of course, sucked all the wind out of Jim's sails.

Marcus, whose battery is dying, is chomping at the bit to defend himself. The thing is, Marcus just talks about how he got ripped on the O&A show and at Cobb's. When confronted by the guys, Marcus has no response and does not see what he did wrong. For this, to mine and Dan's delight, Marcus is thrown into the Pit. Fantastic.

But now, it's time for the Worst Christmas Song Ever competition. Tonight, the Jew edition, aka a Jewbilation. In case you were wondering, Fred Mckinnon's "Oh, Holy Night" has been crowned the winner of Week 1. Nothing else had a shot against it, so we had no other choice.

Number 1: Our friend, Barbra Streisand singing "Jingle Bells," or some version of that. She sounds like she's on speed. It's pretty terrible, but we shall see.

Number 2: Barry Manilow singing "Favorite Things." But, this gets thrown out right away.

Number 3: Brian Setzer singing, "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch." Eh, also not bad enough.

Number 4: Two Live Jews singing a Jewish version of "Feliz Navidad." That is pretty damn bad.

Just for fun, we play Leonard Nimoy singing, "Ruby, Don't Bring Your Love to Town." That's pretty bad, Dan doesn't think it's bad enough.

10pm: Over break, I find us a competitor for contestant #3. It's Kenny Ellis singing, Hanu-calypso. My favorite part, is when he calls the holiday, "hip-so." Wow, that's some skill.

So, the competitors are Barbra, Two Live Jews, and Kenny Ellis. Russ from Berkeley thinks we should have looked into Neil Diamond, but as a concession chooses Barbra.

Just edging out, Barbra is crowned the winner with the worst Jewish Christmas song.

We start talking about the Weird Food Potluck. This started with a discussion of the nasty thing known as gefilte fish. If you don't know what that is, gefilte fish is jellied white fish. It is incredibly nasty.

This spreads into pb & butter sandwiches, a weird Polish mushroom soup, and avocado sandwiches. Weird voiced Jesse from SF, calls to tell us about his Peanut Butter, butter and salame sandwich. He also talks about something with Kahlua and cheese.

Time to give away the Guns and Roses tickets. We will have another rousing round of Mental Speedbump to decide the winner.

Topic #1: Tell us about when you were up in the tree in Berkeley, and realized the iron was on?

- Chris from Santa Clara wouldv'e gone long enough, but was so incredibly boring. He just kept repeating himself, so he goes into the Pit.

- Andy in SF gives it a shot. He gets to :38, but says, "uh." It wasn't bad, but to no avail, he loses.

Topic #2: You're out on a long sailing ship. You need a haircut, and all you have a cheese grater. What do you do?

- Raj from Fremont does pretty well, but gives up in the middle.

- Kirk from Campbell loses almost right away

Topic #3: How you shaved your armpits with a cheese grater.

- Gina from San Jose is successful. She didn't do great, but did well enough. So, congratulations to Gina, you are going to see Guns N Roses at Oracle Arena on December 15th.

Tomorrow, we will be playing, "What Am I Breaking?" This is where you break something, and if the guys guess correctly what it is, then you win.

The guys read a story about a new law in North Carolina. You are no longer allowed to do so, drunk. Chris doesn't drink anymore, but says that mowing, is the one time he misses the booze. He tells a story of when their old partner stopped by his house. He was repainting his mower black with flames, and when she arrived, he was painting "Your Ass is Grass" on the side of the mower. Yeah, drinking can be bad.