Wednesday, January 3

Hi! Erica here to keep you filled in on The Gray Area.

7pm: Well the guys start off strong, accidentally putting a non-existent call on the air. So, we all get to hear, "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again."

Chris has been donning his Jets gear this week, because they made the playoffs. Yesterday, we talked about NFL.com's playoff team chooser. He is trying to convince everyone not to do this, and instead to adopt the Jets.

Chris has Brad play the game. This is actually pretty funny. You should check it out. They are disappointed because it is less funny than normal. First, they play for Niner fans. The result is the Eagles. That's ridiculous, no one likes the Eagles outside Philly. As it should be. Stupid Eagles.

Next, we play it for the Raiders fans. They, like me, get the damn Baltimore Ravens. Ugh. My reactions to these make everyone call me out on the rage I have when it comes to football. Well, I'm a Skins fan, what do you expect? Marcin from Oakland calls in to ask for them to play again for the Raiders. The Ravens are unacceptable to him.

Our friend John in Moraga is an angry Broncos fan. Whatever, the Broncos only make the playoffs only every year. He is actually happy because he gets the Saints. He likes them because he says New Orleans is the best 72 hour town.

The guys read a story about gay sheep. Scientists are trying to genetically manipulate these rams to make them straight.

This story is interrupted by Joe in Fairfield. He is moving to Fresno for work. He has a date down there tonight, and needs advice on where to go. He reveals that he met her on Myspace. Oh man, this should be interesting. I have to ask him, does he know how big her penis is? Brad says this is mean, but I think that's a reasonable question based on the situation.

8pm: In the beginning of this hour, we had a question about fires. We talk to Andrew in Cupertino, a firefighter who gives us information. This leads to Chris expressing his desire to drive the back of a fire truck. Yeah, these two guys driving a fire truck sounds like an excellent idea.

Ok, so now after Joe's interruption, we go back to the gay sheep story. This leads to fear that this will lead to breeding out homosexuality in humans. Supposedly, this could even leads to a skin patch that pregnant women could wear to add hormones to affect the sexuality of the fetus. That would be really bizarre.

Martina Navratilova is up in arms about this. Chris' favorite sentence in the article is, "Navratilova defended the 'right' of sheep to be gay." They think everyone is overreacting to this technology. I don't know, I think this is a pretty creepy idea. But, I am not a huge fan of the whole genetic engineering thing anyway.

Speaking of genetic engineering, the guys think it is time for us to let the pandas go extinct. They think that it has been so difficult to keep them alive, that enough is enough. But they are so cute. Pandas have actually had a great year for breeding in capitivity. They are doing some pretty crazy things in order to get these pandas to breed. This is including tricking the male pandas into thinking the ugly female panda is actually attractive. They do this, by scenting her with the urine of the prettier female. It gets crazier and crazier from there. That makes me a sad panda.

Brad's wife and daughter are going to see the new Ben Stiller movie, "Night at the Museum." Chris says that it looks interesting, but that Robin Williams is a reason that he will not. They both think that whenever Williams is involved, it is always all about him. They say that they would love to see the second guest when he is on Letterman, yell at him for interrupting.

Brian from Palo Alto tries to set the tone with the most spectacular failure of a New Year's Resolution.

9pm: Somehow, the guys start talking about when they first started growing body hair. This is weird and gross. Brad admitted that he didn't realize that he had underarm hair until he had a bunch. Chris asks how he missed it when in the shower. This leads to the fact that kids stink. This just keeps getting stranger.

So, the guys try and give Brian's topic a shot. Of course, they cover the usual, drinking and smoking. They try and present it, but it falls flat on its face. Chris said that his resolution was to not talk about any more holiday topics. Well, I guess that resolution did not work out well for him.

I haven't seen it, but of course you heard that the Saddam Hussein hanging video was all over the Internet. It was recorded on a camera phone, like everything else. This leads the guys to talk about how there is no privacy with this invention. This means that all of us have become Big Brother.

Also, there is a new machine called the "Goodbye Effect." Apparently, the Air Force will use this laser-like mechanism, to control riots. It will shoot down at the crowd, and when hit with this, you will be in extreme pain and inexplicably will start running. It supposedly does not really cause physical damage, but it still sounds pretty intense and horrible. Of course, this has been authorized for use in Iraq.

Chris asks if you can unfriend Tom on Myspace. While he was talking about it, I went on and deleted him. I feel good, I had had enough of Tom. They also start talking about Hotmail. I still keep my hotmail account as a place for spam. That's the email I put, if I knew I was going to get a ton on crap from it.

10pm: At the end of last hour, the guys were talking about the problems in Mexico. Victor in Fairfield calls in angry at Chris for his generalizations about the filthiness of Mexico. He says that Chris has not seen enough of the country to make that assumption.

Joe in Fairfield calls back to give us an update on his date in Fresno. He tells us that nothing is open in the town, so the girl is on her way to meet him at a crappy supermarket. Then they are going to go back to his house, where they will eat and have a bottle of wine. Hmmm. This seems like she can't be all that great. This just seems like a terrible idea.

We are trying to figure out what type of girl this is, that she would go back to his house on the first date. She may be a ho, married, crazy, or a beast. We are all pretty concerned about Joe's fate. Hopefully, she's just a little slutty.

Danielle from Mountain View says that she met her husband and moved in right away. She met him on a military base and says that she came over to his place, and stayed there for a week. They have been together ever since. She thinks that Joe's girl could be totally normal, and maybe doesn't have the most self-esteem. The thing is, we all think Danielle was a bit of a "hosbeast" when she did that.

Dan is convinced that this girl is a zombie. He is pretty obsessed with this idea of the existence of zombies. This leads Brad to bring up a show term. They call really bad gas, a "zombie." For some reason, Chris admits that recently when alone in the elevator here, he has been doing that pretty frequently. Three times he has been caught by the next passengers. These poor people.

In East Palo Alto, two women were shot by the men trying to defend them. The women were fighting, and the men stepped in. Of course, they did so, and tried to shoot each other. In doing so, they shot the very women they were trying to defend. What a bizarre story.

So, with that, I apologize to my mother, and say goodnight. I am off to figure out what the hell this thing is on my arm.