Monday, December 18
Hey everyone. Ahh, it's the last Monday before vacation. Have you gotten your presents yet? I haven't, I'm so screwed. We will be off tomorrow to attend the CBS Christmas party. We should hopefully have some good stories of debauchery for you on Wednesday. By the way, did you see my 'Skins yesterday, knocking down the Saints?!!
7pm: In talking about the 'tard clock, the guys start talking about the track. I have never been, despite being from the home of Preakness. The scariest gamblers, the old ladies that play bingo. They are hard core. Chris was actually a bingo caller for a short time. He quickly realized that he likes to talk far too much to call bingo. They have no patience for his little jokes.
Brad went with his wife to bingo once. He has since promised that he would never go with her again. It was really convoluted, and thought he had one, but was too scared to call it. He waited too long, and found out that he would have won $500. He was so mad, that he left.
Chris went to bingo with his grandmother once. Some poor soul, who had never been to bingo, won a round. But, he gets up and says, "I think I have bingo, but did you call 'free space?'" This is a horrible moment, as all of the bingo nuts turn around with hatred in their cataract-ridden eyes. His grandmother so wanted to express her rage, but had to use all of her strength into maintaining her grandma character.
So, I get a little called out here. Before the show, Brad was showing me a video of a shark eating a seal. The shark was black on top, so I was positive it wasn't a great white. I mocked Brad for thinking it was. I was so confident that I even went to Image search to check. Immediately, several images prove me wrong. I, more than almost anyone, hate being wrong. I was so mad, and of course, am mocked on the air for my mistake.
In watching football yesterday, Chris saw his first commercial for Bod body spray. He even plays the audio from the commercial. If somehow you haven't seen these, they are shots of really cut half-naked guys, with hot girls watching them.
John from Moraga called in about HDTV. He was talking about James Woods, and somehow mentions David Caruso's acting. Fortunately, we had found a montage of bad CSI: Miami Caruso one-liners. Every single one of these, is delivered in the exact same manner. Man, I really hate Caruso.
The guys talk about Time Magazine's ridiculous mistake for Person of the Year. They picked "you." As in all of us. They claim that it is because of the change in the Internet, the Web 2.0 phenomenon. Yes, YouTube, blogs, myspace and all of these other things have been huge, but this is still completely weak.
Who I feel bad for, Chrysler, their sponsor. They didn't tell Chrysler about this pick, and they made an ad, saying that "you might not be Time's Person of the Year..." How terrible is that for this struggling company, that spent that much money on this sponsorship.
What I just realized, is that Time stole this from The Big Lebowski. I can't elaborate, but if you have seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about.
8pm: So, the guys want to know, are you excited to have this honor? Kathy from Sacramento says that she is thrilled because she is going to put this on her resume. That's pretty clever. Jeff from Santa Clara is not happy because he doesn't want to be grouped with all those lame blogs and YouTube videos.
Somehow, we go from Time, to blogs and Myspace, to detestable characters, to coolest person. Is your blog an inconvenience? Is there any character more detestable than Wesley Crusher? Also, is Will Smith the new Fonzie?
Well, not that many people bite on the blogs. But, those who do, say that it definitely becomes a total pain in the ass.
As for the coolest person, Will Smith cannot be the coolest person. He is far too much of a goober. I can't forgive him for that "Welcome to Miami" song. It's just so lame. Johnny Depp was also mentioned for this, and I think he is way cooler than Will Smith. We get a suggestion for Owen Wilson, I think that is a pretty good choice.
9pm: The phones are lit up about the coolest person. Aziz from San Mateo agrees with me that Smith is a goober. He is kinda funny, but that's about it.
Other Cool Guy Suggestions:
- Denzel Washington
- Keifer Sutherland (I'm definitely down for this one)
- Sean Connery
- Matthew McConaughey
- Vince Vaughn
- The Rock
- Kaiser Souse (that's an interesting one)
- Chris Tucker
- Christopher Walken
- John Travolta (boooo)
- Jeremy Piven
- Bruce Willis
- Samuel L. Jackson
They play a clip of Matt Damon impersonating a smooth-talking Matt McConaughey on Letterman. That was actually pretty impressive and funny.
The worst suggestion is Jack Lalaine, that old fitness guru guy.
Somewhere in this, Chris suggests the Jack in the Box guy. The only person who backs him up, Aaron from Newark, our 14-year old caller. Another caller says that the King from BK is way cooler than Jack.
Ok, so this is weird. Brad during the entire hour has been making a box of evenly spaced dots. He really needs to chill on the Mountain Dew. This is getting a little scary.
10pm: We continue with the coolness discussion.
Suggestions for this hour:
- Michael Madsen
- Bill Murray
- David Niven (I don't know who that is)
- Vin Diesel
- David Carradine
- Ferris Bueller
- Clint Eastwood
- Brad Pitt
- George Clooney
- Daniel Craig (new Bond)
- Al Bundy
- Sam Elliott (Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar eats you)
- Bill Clinton
Ok, so we finally stop taking calls on this. It is now time to narrow this down to the playoffs. Here is the list:
- Will Smith
- Samuel L. Jackson
- Kiefer Sutherland
- Owen Wilson
- Christopher Walken
- Bill Clinton
- Jack in the Box (a condescending pat on the head for Chris on this one)
7pm: In talking about the 'tard clock, the guys start talking about the track. I have never been, despite being from the home of Preakness. The scariest gamblers, the old ladies that play bingo. They are hard core. Chris was actually a bingo caller for a short time. He quickly realized that he likes to talk far too much to call bingo. They have no patience for his little jokes.
Brad went with his wife to bingo once. He has since promised that he would never go with her again. It was really convoluted, and thought he had one, but was too scared to call it. He waited too long, and found out that he would have won $500. He was so mad, that he left.
Chris went to bingo with his grandmother once. Some poor soul, who had never been to bingo, won a round. But, he gets up and says, "I think I have bingo, but did you call 'free space?'" This is a horrible moment, as all of the bingo nuts turn around with hatred in their cataract-ridden eyes. His grandmother so wanted to express her rage, but had to use all of her strength into maintaining her grandma character.
So, I get a little called out here. Before the show, Brad was showing me a video of a shark eating a seal. The shark was black on top, so I was positive it wasn't a great white. I mocked Brad for thinking it was. I was so confident that I even went to Image search to check. Immediately, several images prove me wrong. I, more than almost anyone, hate being wrong. I was so mad, and of course, am mocked on the air for my mistake.
In watching football yesterday, Chris saw his first commercial for Bod body spray. He even plays the audio from the commercial. If somehow you haven't seen these, they are shots of really cut half-naked guys, with hot girls watching them.
John from Moraga called in about HDTV. He was talking about James Woods, and somehow mentions David Caruso's acting. Fortunately, we had found a montage of bad CSI: Miami Caruso one-liners. Every single one of these, is delivered in the exact same manner. Man, I really hate Caruso.
The guys talk about Time Magazine's ridiculous mistake for Person of the Year. They picked "you." As in all of us. They claim that it is because of the change in the Internet, the Web 2.0 phenomenon. Yes, YouTube, blogs, myspace and all of these other things have been huge, but this is still completely weak.
Who I feel bad for, Chrysler, their sponsor. They didn't tell Chrysler about this pick, and they made an ad, saying that "you might not be Time's Person of the Year..." How terrible is that for this struggling company, that spent that much money on this sponsorship.
What I just realized, is that Time stole this from The Big Lebowski. I can't elaborate, but if you have seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about.
8pm: So, the guys want to know, are you excited to have this honor? Kathy from Sacramento says that she is thrilled because she is going to put this on her resume. That's pretty clever. Jeff from Santa Clara is not happy because he doesn't want to be grouped with all those lame blogs and YouTube videos.
Somehow, we go from Time, to blogs and Myspace, to detestable characters, to coolest person. Is your blog an inconvenience? Is there any character more detestable than Wesley Crusher? Also, is Will Smith the new Fonzie?
Well, not that many people bite on the blogs. But, those who do, say that it definitely becomes a total pain in the ass.
As for the coolest person, Will Smith cannot be the coolest person. He is far too much of a goober. I can't forgive him for that "Welcome to Miami" song. It's just so lame. Johnny Depp was also mentioned for this, and I think he is way cooler than Will Smith. We get a suggestion for Owen Wilson, I think that is a pretty good choice.
9pm: The phones are lit up about the coolest person. Aziz from San Mateo agrees with me that Smith is a goober. He is kinda funny, but that's about it.
Other Cool Guy Suggestions:
- Denzel Washington
- Keifer Sutherland (I'm definitely down for this one)
- Sean Connery
- Matthew McConaughey
- Vince Vaughn
- The Rock
- Kaiser Souse (that's an interesting one)
- Chris Tucker
- Christopher Walken
- John Travolta (boooo)
- Jeremy Piven
- Bruce Willis
- Samuel L. Jackson
They play a clip of Matt Damon impersonating a smooth-talking Matt McConaughey on Letterman. That was actually pretty impressive and funny.
The worst suggestion is Jack Lalaine, that old fitness guru guy.
Somewhere in this, Chris suggests the Jack in the Box guy. The only person who backs him up, Aaron from Newark, our 14-year old caller. Another caller says that the King from BK is way cooler than Jack.
Ok, so this is weird. Brad during the entire hour has been making a box of evenly spaced dots. He really needs to chill on the Mountain Dew. This is getting a little scary.
10pm: We continue with the coolness discussion.
Suggestions for this hour:
- Michael Madsen
- Bill Murray
- David Niven (I don't know who that is)
- Vin Diesel
- David Carradine
- Ferris Bueller
- Clint Eastwood
- Brad Pitt
- George Clooney
- Daniel Craig (new Bond)
- Al Bundy
- Sam Elliott (Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar eats you)
- Bill Clinton
Ok, so we finally stop taking calls on this. It is now time to narrow this down to the playoffs. Here is the list:
- Will Smith
- Samuel L. Jackson
- Kiefer Sutherland
- Owen Wilson
- Christopher Walken
- Bill Clinton
- Jack in the Box (a condescending pat on the head for Chris on this one)
posted by The Gray Area at 7:01 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home