Tuesday, October 24
Hi! Erica here to keep you updated on "The Gray Area." Remember to comment on anything you read.
7pm: The guys start off talking about a letter written by Ethan Albright, long snapper for my Washington Redskins. Albright is apparently the lowest rated player on Madden 2007. He was none too happy with this slight and wrote a vicious letter to John Madden. Here is a copy of the letter, but beware, it contains some very strong language. Although profane, this letter is absolutely hilarious.
One of the best lines: "You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly s*** and p*** myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. "
I am trying to reach Ethan, although he is pretty difficult to get ahold of. Finally, I reach his incredibly sweet mother. She informs me that he definitely did not write it. He would never use that kind of language and is having lawyers look into it now. Thank you Mrs. Albright for all your help. This letter is all over the internet.
So apparently, the culprit is Juan Turlington at "The Phat Phree Press." Good job, Juan. I will now pull that fishhook out of my mouth. Although, you should be ashamed of yourself, you made a sweet old lady in North Carolina very upset.
From here, the guys go on Craigslist and find posting in "Casual Encounters" from Oracle employees. The most surprising entry:
Here I am trying this again tonight. So far basically zero response. I'm serious, I just want someone to lay in bed with and cuddle!!! Surely there is someone else out there as lonely as I am! Nice professional white male, looking for someone to keep company this week. Maybe your in town for the Oracle conference, if so, great let's go check out the exhibition hall together, if not that's fine too. Either way, if your looking for someone who is kind, respectfull, funny, and a pleasure to be around send me an email.
I enjoy cuddling, holding hands, long kisses, massages, etc etc. Sex isn't an requirement, but if we click and chose that, then know that I am drug and disease free. I am a kind, gentle, passionate lover who truly seeks to pleasure whom I am with. I am open to any body type or age, just be down to earth, caring, and like to be with a truly nice guy who isn't going to just treat you like a piece of meat.
That is pretty sad. Chris thinks he might be a half-cheater. Someone who wants to spend time with someone else, but not go as far as having sex. Either way, just looking at this ad makes me depressed. And if you look it up and see his picture, you'll know what I mean.
To end the hour, we are giving away the premium Exotic Erotic prize (tickets to both ball and expo). The question is: What is Brad's nickname? They said that it has been mentioned a few times. Don't feel bad if you don't know it. I work here and I don't even know.
8pm: Peter from San Francisco calls in to try and win tickets. He doesn't even know the question yet, but what the hell. He says that either way he should win because the Playboy dvds we sent him were the "Girls on McDonald's."
The question is: "what is Maria Shriver's middle name?" I found it online in about 5 seconds. So did our winner, Jeff from SF. But, a lot of other people who guessed were funny, and at least
receive tickets to the expo. It was "Owings," by the way. What a crappy middle name.
Chris needs your help. His girlfriend, Ace, wants to know where their dog goes when it runs away. Dan suggests that he goes to a spy shot and mounts a camera on the dog. They mention dogs in hats in the discussion. So, if you need to see something either funny or depressing (I'm not sure which), you can check this out.
I missed what they were talking about, but they wonder if we can have pre-made apologies on the podcasts. I suggest that we set up a link on the website, where the complaining party can type in their issue, and a automated voice will fill it in. I think that would be awesome.
To wrap up the 8pm hour, Chris and Brad have to bitch a little bit on a serious topic. Reportedly, Latin American migrants will send a record, 45 billion back to their native countries. Chris thinks that instead these people should use this money to bring them here. I understand that point, but it does not seem feasible. They say that anything is better than all that money just leaving our economy.
9pm: Coming back, the phones are lit up on this subject. If there is one topic that will incite calls in California, it is immigration. The opinions we get are all over the board. Some people enthusiastically agree with Chris and Brad. Others are irate at their assertions.
For me, it's interesting, because on the East Coast, no one ever talks about this. I do, however, remember my El Salvadorian co-workers working 3 jobs to support their families back home. Say what you will, but they are the hardest working people I know.
If you missed this discussion, feel free to send Chris and Brad an email or leave a comment here.
My neighbor growing up was the Director of the Western Hemisphere Division of the International Monetary Fund until 2002. Hopefully, he will be able to give us some insight into this tomorrow. And, he probably has some stories about me as a little kid.
This discussion lasts for the hour and is pretty in-depth. We get a lot of very intelligent callers with varying perspectives. Thank you to everyone who called in on this topic.
10pm: Ok, so that was a great discussion, but it is time to move on to something less serious.
To move on they talk about quitting cigarettes. Brad, Chris, and I are all addicted to nicotene, me less than them. Chris thinks that the hardest thing is missing the cool factor. He claims that all those people giving us dirty looks are just jealous of how cool we are. In this city, I'm not so sure. People hate smokers here.
Brad talks about the "send all" mistake. Where you can accidentally send out a personal email to everyone else. Another email mistake he has made is the signature on his emails. He had a cutesy signature for his personal emails. Accidentally, he includes it on his resume to some serious job applications. I couldn't catch exactly what it was, but it wasn't what HR wants to see.
Chris has never made the "Send All" mistake, but he has drunk-emailed. I have definitely made mistakes with too many IM windows open. The worst is when you're talking smack about someone and accidentally im them with it.
Brad seems to have been in quite a bit of trouble by computers. Brad had been getting provocative emails from female listeners. After warned by his wife to get rid of all of this, he deleted all the emails. But then... his computer crashed. He uses his backups to save everything, mistakenly reloading all those dirty emails. Of course, these are all found by T. OOH, that must not have been good at all.
Brad reads a story about a guy who beat up the Cookie Monster character at a mall in Middletown, MD. The worst part, the person playing Cookie Monster was an 18 year old girl. And, he did it in front of a crowd of small children. It's stories like this that make me proud to be from Maryland. To the right is my estimation of how Cookie looked after the fight.
To continue on a light note, the guys read a story about a man who disciplined his kids with ants. This reminds Chris of his dad horrible punishments. When they were bad, they would have to kneel on hot beans on the floor. That is awful.
Oh so classy, Brad's penile euphemism is "a baby's arm with an apple." Oh man, yeah Mom, definitely sorry. Have a good night everyone.
7pm: The guys start off talking about a letter written by Ethan Albright, long snapper for my Washington Redskins. Albright is apparently the lowest rated player on Madden 2007. He was none too happy with this slight and wrote a vicious letter to John Madden. Here is a copy of the letter, but beware, it contains some very strong language. Although profane, this letter is absolutely hilarious.One of the best lines: "You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly s*** and p*** myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. "
I am trying to reach Ethan, although he is pretty difficult to get ahold of. Finally, I reach his incredibly sweet mother. She informs me that he definitely did not write it. He would never use that kind of language and is having lawyers look into it now. Thank you Mrs. Albright for all your help. This letter is all over the internet.
So apparently, the culprit is Juan Turlington at "The Phat Phree Press." Good job, Juan. I will now pull that fishhook out of my mouth. Although, you should be ashamed of yourself, you made a sweet old lady in North Carolina very upset.
From here, the guys go on Craigslist and find posting in "Casual Encounters" from Oracle employees. The most surprising entry:
Here I am trying this again tonight. So far basically zero response. I'm serious, I just want someone to lay in bed with and cuddle!!! Surely there is someone else out there as lonely as I am! Nice professional white male, looking for someone to keep company this week. Maybe your in town for the Oracle conference, if so, great let's go check out the exhibition hall together, if not that's fine too. Either way, if your looking for someone who is kind, respectfull, funny, and a pleasure to be around send me an email.
I enjoy cuddling, holding hands, long kisses, massages, etc etc. Sex isn't an requirement, but if we click and chose that, then know that I am drug and disease free. I am a kind, gentle, passionate lover who truly seeks to pleasure whom I am with. I am open to any body type or age, just be down to earth, caring, and like to be with a truly nice guy who isn't going to just treat you like a piece of meat.
That is pretty sad. Chris thinks he might be a half-cheater. Someone who wants to spend time with someone else, but not go as far as having sex. Either way, just looking at this ad makes me depressed. And if you look it up and see his picture, you'll know what I mean.
To end the hour, we are giving away the premium Exotic Erotic prize (tickets to both ball and expo). The question is: What is Brad's nickname? They said that it has been mentioned a few times. Don't feel bad if you don't know it. I work here and I don't even know.
8pm: Peter from San Francisco calls in to try and win tickets. He doesn't even know the question yet, but what the hell. He says that either way he should win because the Playboy dvds we sent him were the "Girls on McDonald's."
The question is: "what is Maria Shriver's middle name?" I found it online in about 5 seconds. So did our winner, Jeff from SF. But, a lot of other people who guessed were funny, and at least
receive tickets to the expo. It was "Owings," by the way. What a crappy middle name.
Chris needs your help. His girlfriend, Ace, wants to know where their dog goes when it runs away. Dan suggests that he goes to a spy shot and mounts a camera on the dog. They mention dogs in hats in the discussion. So, if you need to see something either funny or depressing (I'm not sure which), you can check this out.
I missed what they were talking about, but they wonder if we can have pre-made apologies on the podcasts. I suggest that we set up a link on the website, where the complaining party can type in their issue, and a automated voice will fill it in. I think that would be awesome.
To wrap up the 8pm hour, Chris and Brad have to bitch a little bit on a serious topic. Reportedly, Latin American migrants will send a record, 45 billion back to their native countries. Chris thinks that instead these people should use this money to bring them here. I understand that point, but it does not seem feasible. They say that anything is better than all that money just leaving our economy.
9pm: Coming back, the phones are lit up on this subject. If there is one topic that will incite calls in California, it is immigration. The opinions we get are all over the board. Some people enthusiastically agree with Chris and Brad. Others are irate at their assertions.
For me, it's interesting, because on the East Coast, no one ever talks about this. I do, however, remember my El Salvadorian co-workers working 3 jobs to support their families back home. Say what you will, but they are the hardest working people I know.
If you missed this discussion, feel free to send Chris and Brad an email or leave a comment here.
My neighbor growing up was the Director of the Western Hemisphere Division of the International Monetary Fund until 2002. Hopefully, he will be able to give us some insight into this tomorrow. And, he probably has some stories about me as a little kid.
This discussion lasts for the hour and is pretty in-depth. We get a lot of very intelligent callers with varying perspectives. Thank you to everyone who called in on this topic.
10pm: Ok, so that was a great discussion, but it is time to move on to something less serious.
To move on they talk about quitting cigarettes. Brad, Chris, and I are all addicted to nicotene, me less than them. Chris thinks that the hardest thing is missing the cool factor. He claims that all those people giving us dirty looks are just jealous of how cool we are. In this city, I'm not so sure. People hate smokers here.
Brad talks about the "send all" mistake. Where you can accidentally send out a personal email to everyone else. Another email mistake he has made is the signature on his emails. He had a cutesy signature for his personal emails. Accidentally, he includes it on his resume to some serious job applications. I couldn't catch exactly what it was, but it wasn't what HR wants to see.
Chris has never made the "Send All" mistake, but he has drunk-emailed. I have definitely made mistakes with too many IM windows open. The worst is when you're talking smack about someone and accidentally im them with it.
Brad seems to have been in quite a bit of trouble by computers. Brad had been getting provocative emails from female listeners. After warned by his wife to get rid of all of this, he deleted all the emails. But then... his computer crashed. He uses his backups to save everything, mistakenly reloading all those dirty emails. Of course, these are all found by T. OOH, that must not have been good at all.
Brad reads a story about a guy who beat up the Cookie Monster character at a mall in Middletown, MD. The worst part, the person playing Cookie Monster was an 18 year old girl. And, he did it in front of a crowd of small children. It's stories like this that make me proud to be from Maryland. To the right is my estimation of how Cookie looked after the fight.
To continue on a light note, the guys read a story about a man who disciplined his kids with ants. This reminds Chris of his dad horrible punishments. When they were bad, they would have to kneel on hot beans on the floor. That is awful.
Oh so classy, Brad's penile euphemism is "a baby's arm with an apple." Oh man, yeah Mom, definitely sorry. Have a good night everyone.
posted by The Gray Area at 7:08 PM
1 Comments:
re: your description of the “Send All Mistake” show topic including the following quote:
“Chris has never made the "Send All" mistake, but he has drunk-emailed.”
Oh, Lord, the emails. I never received one of his emails (legendary though they were), but I did get to participate in the scariest work-related call ever.
A little quick background:
I worked with Chris and Brad at KRZR in Fresno from April of 1997 to April of 2001. The last few months of my time with Clear Channel I was working out of Modesto as the satellite producer of the Front Row morning show. Chris and Brad (and Jennifer) were fantastic to work with, but I was commuting from Fresno to Modesto six days a week to board-op/produce their show. Cheap Channel also asked me to jock mid-days on both of Chris’ affiliates and act as a kind of imaging & production assistant for a total of five stations. So I was always tired and frequently confused.
Apparently, one afternoon Chris got worried about the possibility of my burning out. By “worried” I mean “roaring drunk.”
I won’t try and recall what, exactly, was said, but to summarize:
“If you need anything just ask: you’re one of us now.”
“If you’re going to burn out or break down let me know, I’ll make a call.”
“You’re the greatest producer in the history of radio.”
All of that was encouraging, supportive, and exactly what I needed to hear from a guy I really looked up to. And then, after repeating those sentiments approximately 37 times the conversation turned. There was a bit of “no, Goddamnit, listen to me! This is serious!” and “Are you paying attention?”
Now, I promised I would not ever divulge the details of the conversation, and to this day I’ve kept Chris’ confession to myself. But imagine my 21 year old, sleep deprived, mildly retarded brain trying to make the jump from a “We Love You, Man!” train of thought to a rant involving concealed weapons, capital crimes, and a solemn oath that so long as I stay loyal “they” will never “get” me.
I can still recall the exact, skin-crawling feeling that conversation evoked. Apparently, so can most of Chris’ former co-workers. I’ll see if I can get copies of some of his missives as directed to my old contemporaries. I’m sure he’d appreciate it.
Anyway, I’m tuning in via podcast here in Fresno. You guys are putting on a great show. We all look forward to syndication bringing the boys home.
If Chris would like to rebut or reminisce I can be reached via Email at: philip.teresi@gmail.com.
Philip “Kane” Teresi
Fresno, CA
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