Wednesday, December 6

Hi everyone. Erica here, hope you're having a good week. We have more Guns N' Roses tickets to give away.

7pm: We will be speaking to our moral compass, Betty Jean Jefferson, tonight. So, you can call in and share your own moral dilemmas, and get some guidance. We haven't spoken to her in a quite a long time, and we have become sheep lost in the forest of sin. (Like that metaphor?)

Brad asks Miss Betty Jean about the situation with his brother visiting his new apartment. If you don't remember, his nephew threw up on the floor, and his niece ran screaming through the complex. Brad wants to know if he should feel obligated to have them back? She tells Brad that he should feel ok about banning them from the house. If he does not chastise them for their actions, then he is condoning it. But, either way, family is family, so don't cut them out of your life.

Chris asks about a couple events we want to do. The first, and Chris seems a little nervous, is the Women's Prison Film Festival. I don't think that she is down with that. She says exploiting people's misfortunes, is not ever the right thing to do.

Next, is the freeboarding contest we want to have for the GNR floor tickets. They explain that it is pretty dangerous. She thinks that this is ok, because these people know that it is dangerous. She is more concerned with the liability issues we would face. Well, at least we are cool with her on this one.

Finally, we ask Miss Betty Jean about the Worst Christmas Song contest. They are not directly making fun of Jesus, but the songs are mocking Christmas by their poor quality. She is questionable about this one. She says that she probably wouldn't listen to these songs, because these people are not giving their best.

Ok, so despite Miss Betty Jean's disapproval, it is time for the Worst Christmas Song Ever competition. The champion from Monday and Tuesday, is Barbra Streisand singing "Jingle Bells." We have some pretty terrible contenders fighting to take down Barbra tonight.

Joe in Fairfield calls in advance to vote for Babs, because he just hates that song, that much. His mother played that song all the time, and he stole the album from her. We offer to make amends for him, all he has to do, is give us

Contender #1: Bob Francis and "That Swingin' Manger." This song is pretty loungy. The big offense of this song, "that little cat Jesus." That's pretty offensive to me, and I'm not even Christian.

Contender #2: Little Augie Rios singing "Donde Esta Santa Claus?" This is pretty terrible, and really, really racist. They go through the names of the reindeer, and name one, "Pedro." Are you kidding?

The votes are close. We have received votes for each of the contestants, and it's a battle between Babs and Augie. Oh no.

8pm: We start the hour by finishing up the voting. Can I just bitch about one thing? If you call during break to get on the air, don't hang up after 2 minutes. The break will be longer than that, it always is. Ok, I'm done now.

This is a really tight fight. I don't know who is going to pull this one out. Even in house, it is really split.

At the last minute, Barbra pulls it out. Crap. I am so sick of that damn song. Will anything defeat her this week. I really thought the racism would top her, but no, she's just that bad.

So, the guys set up a new wallpaper on the blog. Because I only see it from the back end, I didn't notice until they told me. Those bastards put a clown wallpaper on there. If you didn't know, I am deathly afraid of clown. That's just so mean. But, they are screwed, because I already have a great idea for revenge. Muah Ha Ha Ha.

They say they are not scared, because I use my computer-savvy boyfriend in my threat. But they argue, that everyone can do damage, with just a little bit of knowledge. Ok guys, you just wait and see. I am crafty and cruel. You have made the mistake of underestimating my evil nature.

Larry from Sunnyvale wrote the boys an email. Larry is a big fan of mine, and wants to poll for an Erica Appreciation Day. The guys try to figure out what song would be good for my theme. Does anyone have any ideas for what it should be?

Did you hear about the woman who grounded a plane for flatulence. She has a disorder that gives her gas, and was lighting matches in order to mask the smell. But obviously, you can't light matches on the damn plane. How utterly embarrassing.

Andrew from Oakland lets us know about a horrible singer, Mrs. Miller. She is supposedly just terrible. Brad remembers her version of "Downtown." He says that there is nothing like it. Chris is just focused on the fact, that she is not a particularly pretty lady. Aww, poor Mrs. Miller.

The guys give a little insight into radio. They have been told time and time again, that topics that involve Food, Sex, Kids, or Animals, always work. They are not so sure of this assertion. Chris and Brad are tired of being told what to do by old men. It's just enough.

The point is, they have never fired on a topic that includes all four of them together. So, they are asking the listeners to set the tone with one of these topics. Can anyone step up to the plate?

9pm: We have two contenders to start. Furthermore, if a listener does a really good job, they may have a chance at getting the GNR tix. Michael from San Jose has a cheap one-liner, but no topic.

My ideas: What food is best to distract your kids, so you can have sex with a donkey? Or, which tastes better after sex, kids or animals? Is that wrong? Am I a bad person?

Brad's idea: Don't spay and neuter your pets, let them have sex, and eat their offspring.

Gene from SF comes up with the Pizza Hut buffet in Santa Cruz. This is a $3 buffet, that includes dogs eating off the floor, with kids running about, and couples having sex in the parking lot. I don't know how this is a topic.

John from SF tries to come up a with a topic about obese teens practicing beastiality. The question: Is beastiality the best method for obese teens to lose weight?

Susan in SF comes up with county fair stories. Anthony from San Jose has a topic similar to mine. What food distracts kids and animals, so you can have sex?

Leo in San Ramon: Is sex in food ads turning our kids into animals?

Sean in Antioch: All four of these things are killing people?

Willis in Oakland: If you had to have sex with an animal in order to feed your kids, which animal would you choose and why? That's just twisted.

Leslie in El Cerrito: After a divorce, which do you miss most: food, sex, kids, or pets? Jess has a similar one, asking which gives you long term satisfaction. Also, on this page, Justin asks, which of these do women want more of in a relationship? Terry changes this to which would you pick, for your last day on Earth?

Sherry from San Jose says, What animal is best to eat, so that you can have sex, and not have kids?

10pm: Sarah from SF comes up with, which of the four, is best to relieve stress? Hers is pretty thought out, thinking it could even be turned into a poll. I like her idea, the only problem is that not everyone has kids or pets.

David in Napa wants to know what would be the best of these, in order to keep your mate?

After all of these, the guys decide that Leslie's topic is the best. So, Leslie, you will be attending the GNR concert for your creativity. Is it bad that the listeners are able to come up with better topics, than we are? Hmmm.

Reannan calls in and tells us about a terrible experience at a concert. Apparently, they were talking about that, I guess I should listen, huh? Anyway, she went to a show, had to go outside, and then couldn't get back in. She said that it was hell trying to get back in, and ruined her whole night.

This leads the guys to talking about the stupidity of no in and out privileges. If you have rubber stamps or wristbands, then what is the big deal? What have you done outside a concert, that would be so bad, that you can't go back in?

Brad lets us know that he has formed a new addiction: capers. He is not just putting them on everything, but he is also eating them by the spoonfuls. Seriously, that is just nasty. Capers are so strong in flavor. Dan informs him that capers will make your butt fall off. That is a lovely image. Brad's salt content must be through the roof.

The guys have been talking about doing the gravy donuts forever. They really want to get this done, but ran into some difficulty today. Chris called Krispy Kreme to get jelly donuts without filling. Of course, no matter how he explains it, the employees has no concept of what he means. Finally, she understands, but then he runs into the problem of when he can pick them up. Even after being put on hold three times, he still did not fill the order. So, hopefully, there will be gravy donuts tomorrow.

And with that, have a good night and I apologize to my mother.