Wednesday, May 16th

Hi everyone. Today will be a show full or argument. We will fight over Maxim's Hot 100 and "Boondock Saints. " I am ready to argue and win.

1pm: Because they watched "The Boondock Saints," the topic arises as to which movie has the worst shooting. I love the movie, but nobody has any aim. When you think about it, most action movies are like that.

Chris points out "Tombstone." There is a scene where nine men have shotguns and do not even graze Wyatt Earp. Brad says every Storm Trooper in the "Star Wars" movies. Hank in Hayward brings up "Commando." That is a great call, no one can hit Arnold.

We are introducing The Hole of Blow today, a creation I slaved over. Unfortunately, it seems they will be using it for something I love. It is so exciting and infuriating at the same time. Although, they do pop it's cherry on a line from "Commando." At least I can enjoy that.

Other Movies With Bad Aim:
- Terminator
- Rambo II
- Young Guns
- Heat
- Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom
- Desperado

We start getting into a whole discussion about who shoots first in some "Star Wars" movie. Hans Solo versus someone. I have not seen it and never will, but there are plenty of callers willing to tell us all about it.

It came out that San Francisco is Number 10 on the Rudest Driver list. Brad thinks that we should be much higher. I disagree. There are so many passive and slow drivers in this area. Miami is first on the list, and from what I have heard, that is entirely appropriate.

2pm: Jason in San Jose calls to defend "Boondock Saints." He points out the scene where Willem Dafoe is describing the shoot out. If you have not seen this movie, it is by far the best part.

The guys hated Willem Dafoe in the movie. They say that it was way too over the top. They also felt that director, Troy Duffy, was trying to hard to be Quentin Tarantino. Although they admit that there are some great scenes, overall they completely pan it. Well, I cannot agree with them on this one. I love the movie and think Dafoe was fantastic.

Ok, on "The Sopranos" on Sunday, Tony killed a half-dead Christopher. Afterwards, he goes to Vegas, hangs out with a stripper and does some peyote. At the end, he yells one of two things. Either "I get it" or "I did it." Both Chris and I were convinced that he said "I did it" when we saw the episode. But upon replaying it and slowing it down, it definitely says "I get it."

The echo; however, I could swear sounds like "I did it." I have a theory. I think that because Tony was tripping, he hears "I did it" in the echo. The peyote is making his subconcious reflect in the echo.

To end the show, we read a Craigslist ad for "Penis/Vagina Artistic Renderings - Female Model Needed." This guy is trying to get laid by convincing a woman to have sex with him by saying it is modeling. Um... ok.

Here are a few links that Chris asked me to post on the blog.

A crazy music video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mWW6kRITEY

The Funniest Bong Hit Ever:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_9gRPtGAvQ

Tuesday, May 15th

1pm: Jerry Falwell has passed away. Am I a terrible person for not being upset? Honestly, I am just really curious to know where he went. Is it hot, Jerry?

We were talking about Jerry Falwell and somehow ended up discussing vaporizers. Not the ones used to smoke pot, but the crazy contraption your parents give you when you have a chest cold. Did you ever step on one of those bad boys in the middle of the night? You end up with a rectangular blister of sorrow, making each step torture for the next week.

I ask what they think about Falwell's afterlife. Brad thinks that he may have had good intentions. We argue about this a bit. I say that he is irredeemable being that he said nothing pertaining to "Love Thy Neighbor." As you all know, I am a Jew. But, even I know that saying "we should blow them all away in the name of the Lord" is not all that Christian.

To continue ensuring our utter damnation, we turn our mocking tongues toward Tammy Faye Bakker. Tammy Faye is dying of colon cancer and is down to a meek sixty-five pounds. Her doctors have stopped her treatment and it seems she will go anyday. The Gray Area's response: "Wouldn't it be cool if she died the same day as Jerry Falwell?" Wow.

Forget that unattractive Jerry Falwell, there are more important things to discuss. Lindsay Lohan is somehow in the news again. From Bang.com, her upcoming movie, "I Know Who Killed Me," includes her first sex scene. Why did Lindsay get down for this movie? To prove she is an "f***ing actress," deserving of critical acclaim. What does that even mean?

2pm: Chris and Brad have a little question for the listeners; is crazy, sexy? Brad points out that crazy women will allow you to do things sane women would never consider. That seems to be the appeal for Brad. Knowing his freaky nature, I am not particularly surprised.

Jeff in Sausalito constantly dates crazy women. His roommates now make him go through a screening process when dating a new girl. Over the last two years, he claims to have dated eight or nine whackjobs.

The guys found an old list entitled, "Women Should Not Date A Man Who..."

- Has a one-fingered bowling ball
- Screams "Mama, Mama" everytime he sees a Cosmo magazine cover
- Plays with mustaches on the faces of others
- Completes a completed Rubix cube under glass
- Names his scars
- Knows the difference between koulats and a jumper
- Does play-by-play with his baseball cards
- Has ever repainted a trailer
- Keeps calling you "Lisa Marie"

For Chris, his girlfriend is crazy when it comes to sound. She is incredibly sensitive when it comes to the sound of people chewing. Chris cannot even eat potato chips when she is around because it will drive her insane.

The Crab in San Jose calls to say that sexy becomes crazy when it sticks around. She then contends that she is not crazy. We love ya Crab, but we all know that you are pretty nuts.

We get a nice surprise from the family of Troy Duffy, the director of "Boondock Saints." Listener Mike is the uncle of Troy's wife. She sent us a copy of the movie and a t-shirt, so the guys will finally watch it tonight. Brad is going to freak out when he sees Willem Dafoe in drag. I cannot wait to hear that reaction.

With that, I apologize to my mother, have a good day.

Thursday, May 10th

Hello everyone. Ahh we are in our old time slot today without a day show. It is so weird having daytime hours off now. The Gray Area will be off tomorrow, but we will be back on Monday so do not fear.

7pm: Ugh, Chris starts off playing the penis cutting clip once again. Will we ever be free of this horrifying story?

Brad saw Carlo and I go out for a cigarette earlier, and it was painful for him. He decides to handle this urge by wandering up Broadway, the home of six, sleazy strip clubs. Chris warns that this is a dangerous move towards a much more pathetic addiction. No one is more sad and alone than the man who is there when the strip club opens in the morning.

As we are giving away lap dance coupons on the website, I joke that I have taken them all for myself. I have never actually been to a strip club, but this leads the guys to complain about the lap dances girls get. Apparently, when a girl orders one, the stripper goes crazy and does a significantly better dance than she ever will for a man. Brad points out that this is because the girl does not have the evil penis.

John in Moraga calls for the first time in a while. He says the strippers do not get going until the second rum and coke. Then he tells us that Jon Lovitz once poached John's dance. We do not know if this is true, but it is a pretty funny image.

Mutants has sent us a crazy Adult gigs ad from the East Bay on Craigslist. This guy is advertising for high school/college girls with pretty feet and legs. He is offering forty whole dollars to watch him fly the simulator. Ewwww. That sounds so incredibly creepy.

The guys have sworn that they have three words that are creepier than this story. According to Best Week Ever, "Jared from Subway" sold porn in college out of his bedroom. He rented porn to the students for a dollar a day. Ugh. That is so nasty. This story also claims that the reason that he lost all that weight on Subway was because it was located in his dorm.

Jim in Livermore tells us that he no longer has a van. It has been towed, so he is moving up to the mountains. He claims he is moving to a cave and is calling to say goodbye. He is sad that Chris has been so mean to him. So, as he says he is still the King of the Pit, we send him off by throwing him into the Pit for the last time.

When the guys start reading a story about a squirrel attack in the South Bay, I get a great idea. If you remember those '70's horror movies like "Pirahnas" and "Ants," I think it would be fantastic to make one about squirrels. A suburb is terrorized by hordes of killer squirrels. Imagine a man being covered head to toe by squirrels and melting down into a pile of blood and gore.

As these people have to all get rabies shots, we wonder what the treatment is for rabies. We all remember hearing that you have to get sixteen shots in the stomach. So, the guys ask what you think you know the treatment actually is.

8pm: Mary Ellen in Daly City is an Animal Control officer. She says that squirrels do not usually have rabies. That the only way they would really get it, would be if they were bitten by a cat. She tells us that it is a series of five shots in the arm. Justin in Santa Rosa asks her if it is true that armadillos carry leprosy. She does not know, but says it is entirely possible.

According to The Straight Dope (who knows how reliable that is), it is possible but unlikely to get leprosy from armadillos. They do, however, carry the disease.

Renee in SF thinks that you get injected with air into your stomach, to make it like a big bubble. That is ridiculous. I do not know if I buy that one. Ken in San Jose says that he had a coworker bit by a stray dog. He says that you have to get six shots within twenty-eight days.

Chris tells all those guys out there who have a particular fear, that things are ok. As he saw a brand new black Rolls outside with a "Be Cool" license plate, he knows that that guy has the smallest penis in the world. So, if you think that this was you, breathe, because it must be this guy.

Teddy Jr. in Oroville says that his ex says that he has the smallest penis. She claims to have measured it at three inches, at full mast. He says that he has tried the penis pump and every other method. She even went on her website and put pictures up there of how small it is. I suggest the penile enhancement surgery, but he is not having any of that.

James in San Jose says that to do that, they cut a ligament. This will only give you about an extra inch. So you get a measly inch, and then you lose some of your ability to get to attention. Ahhh!!! According to the Mayo Clinic's website, it may wobble when aroused. Ewww.

Bob in Fairfield suffered from Erectile Dysfunction. He says nothing has worked, but he uses foreplay and toys to keep her satisfied. Dan in Hayward had an implant put in because of diabetes. He says it was weird because it is so invasive, but decided to go for it. He says after only a week he was ready to go again. Then he started to go into details that completely freaked us all out. So disturbing that I cannot in good conscience repeat it.

9pm: Tad in Berkeley calls about some sort of piercing. But, he falls into mediocrity and has to join Nate and Jim in the depths of the Pit. I think they hurt his feelings.

Unfortunately, I cannot find my ID card. I have lost it so many times already that I am frantically searching for it. Therefore, I missed a whole segment of the show.

The guys read a story about a very persistent disabled man in Spain. He is tetrapalegic and in an electric wheelchair. He was looking for a brothel and got a little bit lost. Somehow, he ends up on a freeway and is pulled over by the police.

Mike in Vallejo asks when it is ok to say something rude to a disabled man in public. He was in a bank when a parapalegic man cut everyone off in line. Of course, no one said anything, but he is wondering if he should have. I do not know why he is going for advice from the likes of these two.

Mishkin in Fremont thinks the answer to the squirrel war is chain mail. He pictures the citizens of the nations armed with flamethrowers. This would be a great end to my movie. I think this could be incredibly successful.

Dan in San Jose throws in that we can make flamethrowers from Super Soakers. That would be pretty sweet. This is coming together in a fantastic fashion.

Wednesday, May 9th

Hi everyone. Today is cold, what the hell is going on?

1pm: Chris talks about the fact that everytime he goes to the doctor, they check the prostate. They say that it is routine now because they say men are afraid to do it. I ask him why he just does not say no sometimes. He says that you cannot say no to the doctor, I think he just cannot resist the MD's charms.

So, Chris and Brad have their long-awaited photo shoot today. They offer to the listeners the opportunity to make suggestions. Be creative, call in and make them your puppets. Joe in SF thinks they should be in a lovers' embrace. Justin in Santa Rosa thinks that one should be bent over with toothy grins. Enrique in Redwood City thinks they should do a stripper pose similar to the posters on Broadway.

Ok, we are going to play some Celebrity Tag today. Raul is filling in for Sac today and kicks ass as my partner for the first round. It takes several rounds to finally have a winner, but finally Andy in Half Moon Bay wins with Brad and I. Congrats Andy and also John in Fremont, who we gave tickets to out of weakness.

2pm: I miss a bunch of this answering phones, but Brad is talking about a time that he was asked to move to New York for modelling.

We go back to the photo shoot ideas. Nate in Oakland thinks that they should put on the wet suits and be Batman and Robin. That sounds a little bit scary.

Ok, so Barry is as always a controversy, especially being ten runs away from the record. Curt Schilling for some reason thinks that he needs to insert himself into this issue. He thinks it is sad that Bud Selig does not know if he will be there, and basically says that Barry is a bad person. As a huge fan of Barry, Chris is excited for the record to be broken.

In talking about this, Brad thinks we need to develop an all-drugs sports league. All the players would be required to take whatever form of drugs the commissioner deems appropriate. Chris likes the idea of Crank Hockey. That sounds pretty fun. I think I would like to see Peyote Raquetball.

Joe in San Bruno thinks Dust Rugby is the way to go. That would be nuts. Nathan in Pittsburg throws out Shroom Football. Yeah that could be cool. Joshua in Concord thinks acid Nascar. Acid would get those drivers pretty wrecked. HAH!!

I think we need to work ecstasy into this. It would give a whole new meaning to the X Games. HAHA! I'm on a roll. Chris gets in on the puns after the suggestion of ketamine golf. You can get a K Hole-in-One.

Well, with that, we are out. I apologize to my mother have a good day.

Tuesday, May 8th

Ahh, it is Tuesday and we have only a day show today. There are so many things to cover today, that it is rough to only have two hours. I cannot get enough of this weather, it is beautiful. I love the polar bears as much as anyone else, but global warming is really hooking us up right now.

1pm: Poor Sac is dealing with log issues. What this means is that there is a discrepancy with the incredibly important paper log. Sac had an incredibly log conversation with the traffic department about this. This leads to a whole discussion of the spots on the station.

Jonathan in Napa appreciates the way the guys do their live reads during the show. Some dj's do very obvious live reads that sound nothing like the rest of the show. These two are somewhat incapable of being serious, so I cannot imagine them doing that. He also tries to set the tone with cult movies, but Chris and Brad thinks that it might be a bad idea because too specific.

Renee in SF calls in today. Normally, she sends emails to the guys. Apparently, earlier she sent them a picture of a hand drawn nipple. She also was a huge fan of Chris' penile injury story. Eww. But, she calls to say that Quentin Tarantino is a swiping hack.

Just before the show, the guys saw three awful product names. First, is Casa de Mini Storage. Then, there is Mr. Nature's trail mix in the utterly craptastic vending machines at the office. Finally, the Palestinian Broadcasting Corporation. Must see tv because there is no other option.
The reason the PBC comes up, is because Hamas has incorporated Mickey Mouse into their programming fold. They are using sweet little Mickey as propaganda for their children.

Guess what? Paris Hilton has a petition online to convince the Governator to pardon her from her arduous forty-five day sentence. There is another petition taking the opposite angle. This petition is begging Arnold to do everything he can to ensure she serves everyday of the sentence.

You can see the fan petition by going to Paris' myspace page. All the typos on the letter I think only confirm that her mother's womb lacked oxygen.

Chris is obsessed with my t-shirt. The reason being that it is brown and yellow. As a child, Chris bought a shirt with this color scheme that said "Bee nice, eat your honey." Although he had no idea what this meant, he came home and was beaten down by his mother. For this reason, I fear that he is going to mug me in the parking lot.

So, there are rumors flyin that Brad Pitt may play He-Man in the upcoming remake. Apparently, Dolf Lundgren played him in the first 80's incarnation. As Chris and Brad trash He-Man, I try and come to his defense. I fail utterly, however, as when asked about Man-at-Arms, I have no idea who that is. Dammit.

2pm: Nick in Vallejo tells us that He-Man was only a marketing ploy. The dolls were originally made for Conan the Barbarian. Realizing the movie was not age-appropriate, they created He-man to get rid of them. Well, say what you want, it definitely worked.

Joey in Santa Rosa thinks that Joan Rivers should play Skeletor in the movie. Phil in Oakland wants to know who should play Princess Ariel in the movie. They ask me, but I do not really remember whatsoever. I remember the tiger... Battle Cat.

Other casting suggestions are Michael Jackson as Skeletor and Nikki Cox as She-Ra. It was all about She-Ra. I was too young for Wonder Woman, and She-Ra was my first bad ass female figure. I wonder when they are going to do a Jem movie. She is truly outrageous.

Ok, so we finally go back to the Paris petitions. I think of an awesome idea, the "Save Paris" t-shirt. The guys do not at all get the Ferris Bueller reference. I am so disappointed. They are just hating on me because they are jealous that they do not have my super cool Super Bee shirt.

So, in a pretty cool move, listener Mike is sending us a copy of "Boondock Saints" so the guys can finally watch it. Apparently, he is connected to the writer/director, Troy Duffy. He is even trying to hook us up with an interview. Thanks Mike, that's really nice.

There is an incredibly fancy restaurant chain, called Mr. Chow. Of course, this reminds us of The Simpson's Mr. Plow. So, Chris has to play a snippet of this classic tune. Anyway, according to TMZ, Mr. Chow is being accused of being abusive to his employees. He hits them and torments them and is only on TMZ because celebrities go there.

To wrap up the show, we talk about the ever-embarrassing hickey. The guys wonder why the hickey has lasted at least sixty years, although never having shown any actual value. They say the most memorable hickey is your last, because it is the most shameful.

Kurt in Rohnert Park defends the hickey as a way to find out a woman was married. If you give her a hickey, you will never see her again. Derrick in San Jose says it is a negotiation tactic when you are trying to get somewhere with the ladies.

Monday, May 7th Show 2

How's it going everyone? Hope you all had a good four hours. I watched a lot of creepy Food Network shows. Have you ever seen Sandra Lee? She is so Aryan that it really freaks me out. I keep waiting her to say, "now that we are done with our porkchops, it is time to begin decimating the Jews."

7pm: We start off with David Hasselhoff again. We replay the audio from Extra of Hasselhoff absolutely blasted. Brad has a big problem with his response of "I'll be fine" when his daughter threatens to cut him out of her life. Chris says that this is unfair, because he clearly has no idea what is going on. All the behavior he exhibits, is classic alcoholic patterns.

Ok, so on a tangent earlier (shocking huh?) we got onto the discussion of the best man speech in movie history. We had already said Nicholson in "A Few Good Men," Pacino in "Any Given Sunday" and Gibson in "Braveheart." The callers also mention George C. Scott's "Patton" speech and something else we cannot remember.

A listener emailed the guys suggesting a tone set of scary parental behavior. This reminds Brad of a fishing story with his father. There were fishing for salmon when he got incredibly frustrated and completely destroys his son's pole in rage. It stood out so much because he went apes***.

Randy in Mountain View is angry that we did not remember Alec Baldwin's speech in "Glengarry Glen Ross." Chris does not want to include it because it is such a depressing movie. Brad does not even want to see the movie because he hates salespeople. I think it may be too industry specific.

Cody in Los Gatos calls about a speech in "Boondock Saints." The guys have not seen it, but it is incredible. The two brothers give a speech before they kill a bunch of people that is pretty incredible. I think we may finally have them convinced on this one.

To wrap up the hour, Dennis Hopper's speech in "True Romance." I have never seen it, because I saw that Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette star in it.

8pm: We continue with the manly speeches this hour with phones completely stacked. Ed in SF starts off talking about Pulp Fiction once again.

Other Speeches:
- Scent of a Woman
- Full Metal Jacket
- Henry V
- Tombstone (the guys are shamed by this, as they love this movie)

Chris in Palo Alto brings up one of Brad's favorite movies, "Gladiator." There is a speech he gives to his soldiers that is supposedly really memorable.

Sean in Alameda takes a different take with this. It is Bluto's speech in "Animal House" to the fraternity when everyone has given it.

Nikita in SF calls again to confuse the guys. She says Tim Curry in "Rocky Horror Picture Show." They seem to hang a little better with them now, although do not really like the choice she made.

More Mentions:
- Dirty Harry/Unforgiven
- Last of the Mohicans
- City Hall
- Training Day
- Malice (Alec Baldwin's speech)

I send them a clip of Denis Leary in "Suicide Kings." Awesome movie that a lot of people have not seen. It is the seen where Leary beats the crap out a complete a-hole for beating a woman. How does he so, with a toaster. It is pretty bad ass. The speech does not make the Top Five, but still I think was worth playing.

We cannot get away from "Boondock Saints." Hopefully, the guys will finally go watch it. Spaz in Concord actually reads the speech to the guys and they think it seems pretty chilling.

9pm: On a side note, there is a rumor that Britney Spears is playing at The Red Devil Lounge tonight from x17online.com. The club is denying this and knowing the venue it sounds unlikely. However, if you know anything about this, please let us know.

Jeremy in Santa Rosa mentions Bullettooth Tony's scene with the replica guns from "Snatch." This is an awesome scene, but I think there is a better one in this movie. It is Britock giving the piggie speech. Where he is explaining feeding people to pigs to people he is about to kill.

Finally, Dave in Fremont mentions "Apocalypse Now." Of course, this is the famous Robert Duvall speech. You know, the "napalm in the morning" speech. It was about time that this one came up. They play a clip of it.

Sam in Morgan Hill brings up Morgan Freeman's speech to the parole board in "Shawshank Redemption." We try to play it, but audio completely screws us over.

Finally, Patrick in Walnut Creek is able to sell Chris and Brad on Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross. Ok, well that is finally settled.

More movies mentioned:
- The Sleeper (Woody Allen's speech)
- Deerhunter
- 300
- Carlito's Way

We give Jason in Napa our FreeFM tickets for this Friday to the A's playing the Indians. The thing is, we do so in the laziest way possible. And with that, we wrap up this incredibly long day. Man, this whole normal workday thing is rough. So, I apologize my mother, have a good night.

Monday, May 7th Show 1

1pm: We are amazed at how quickly the 880 connector reopened. I cannot believe how quickly that happened. They were a little freaked out when an official made a point of saying how incredibly safe it is. That he would drive his family over it day or night. The guys see a reason to be concerned with his overstatement.

The guys wonder what the most powerful swear is. Is it swearing on your children's lives or you mother's eyes? What about the Inigo Montoya way of on your father's sword?

I'm not sure why, but Chris starts talking about his loose-moraled dog. She got pregnant over and over again. Chris went to Hawaii and left her with a dog his owner wanted to breed. The thing is, although he tried to mate with her over and over, he had no testicles. He was neutered!!!

So, Hasselhoff has now lost custody of his children. He is claiming that he asked his children to film him, Brad doubts the honesty of this. Chris says it is typical alcoholic behavior to do something like this. That he asked his kids to do this to make them happy, but probably had never really planned to watch this.

This leads Chris and Brad once again to say that the public is Big Brother, not the government. With our camera phones and YouTube type organizations, you are never safe from being uploaded on the Internet.

Should videos like the one of Hasselhoff be allowed online without consent? Why does YouTube and TMZ have more freedom to violate privacy than TV and radio? When on the Internet, many more people will probably see the video than on Cops. Is it not wrong for people to tape you and put it online without your knowledge?

Spiderman 3 made an unbelievable amount of money this weekend. Brad went with his family on Friday and thought it was okay. He did not like the relationship element of the movie. What he did like was the fighting scenes, particularly those with Sandman.

As for the emo element, Brad was annoyed by this because the black Spiderman suit is supposed to make him evil. It is not supposed to make him an emotional pussy. The worst part, Brad had to sit right up front.

2pm: Mike in Menlo Park agrees that the music in Spiderman was incredibly weak. Furthermore, he says that the Mae's engagement story was completely unnecessary.

Shane in San Jose points out again that several times throughout the movie, Spiderman is not wearing his mask. How does a superhero maintain his secret identity when he is constantly without his mask? Wouldn't it be plastered all over the city?

According to every news outlet on Earth, Paris Hilton actually has to go to jail for forty-five days. I cannot believe it. I really hope they film it. What a sweet reality show that will be? This is going to be great. She is going to have to wash her underwear in the shower.

We start talking about it is just about impossible to get arrested in San Francisco. I so rarely see police officers and harbor little fear when I am speeding. The homeless people can pretty much do whatever they want. People sell crack in the middle of the day in the Tenderloin and double park like there is no tomorrow.

Simon in Oakland recently moved here from Los Angeles. He said that down there the cops are consistently on your ass. Up here, he says you can go several days without seeing a cop.

We continue on a lovely note. From Reuters, a gang kidnapped a man in South Africa and superglued him naked to an exercise bike. Poor guy. They even superglued his mouth shut. Ugh, that is just awful.

Friday, May 4th

Hey everyone. Hooray, it's Friday. I'm going to have some delicious barbeque this weekend, so I am very excited.

1pm: Sadly, Brad's wetsuit was under attack yesterday. He had hung it up in the shower, apparently leaving the cat unsettled. The cat pounced into action and beat the wetsuit in the battle.

Spiderman 3 came out today and has been showing since 9:30 this morning. The guys want to know if anyone has seen it. Chris is upset that they have yet to show Kirstin Dunst's breasts in the trilogy. It may make it rated R, but they think it would be worth it.

Bob in Milpitas saw the movie last night at midnight. He says that it was pretty good, but that the first two were better. There is no nudity in the movie, upsetting Chris. Tyler in SF also says it was uncomfortable when Peter Parker kept crying. Too many man-tears.

James in American Canyon responds to Brad's claim that he has not seen a good movie since 300. He says that they should definitely go see Grindhouse. I had heard that this was awesome and James confirms that it is badass.

We continually hear that Spiderman is weak. I had seen the artists on the soundtrack and it is incredibly emo'd out. Whether or not you like the whole indy-pop thing, I'm not sure that Snow Patrol belongs in a comic book movie soundtrack. Maybe that's just me.

Brandon in San Jose is into the Spiderman series and says that makes the movie significantly better. Some of the plot twists make more sense if you have read the comics. Brian in Emeryville takes the opposite approach. He was equally annoyed by the emotional factor and used to be a Spiderman fan.

2pm: Bill in Oakland calls in to offer Brad some help. Brad has an old Spiderman comic that is the first issue with Venom. As the movie has just introduced Venom, he wants to know if it would be worth more money at this point. He says it could worth quite a bit, but that he has to get it graded by the CGC. I look it up on Ebay and it seems to be worth about thirty dollars.

I get a tip from a caller who informs me that I should be looking at the completed listings and things are looking better for Brad. I see a lot of sales in the several hundred dollar range. But, as I know nothing about comics, I have no idea if Brad's is worth this much.

Renee in SF brings up Chris' disgusting story from yesterday. She asks if the piece was stuck in the razor. In fact it was, but that was not the first place he looked. Ewwwww. Then Jeff in SF calls to ask Chris if he really did eat it. This is absolutely horrific.

Renee, Jeff and everyone who emailed on this story, you should all be ashamed of yourselves. Maybe you should seriously consider some therapy. Thank you for traumatizing me by continually bringing this abhorrent story back up to the surface.

So, of course there is an abundance of Spiderman merchandise out. The website, 10ZenMonkeys, came out with the ten worst Spidey-related items. Of course, one of them is a costume for your poor, sweet dog. It's so mean. There is also a Spidey tie for all the tools of the world who want to look spiffy.

Almost more awesome, is a service where if you upload a picture of your child, his head will replace Spidey's in a cartoon. And, it also includes an educational segment on spiders. But, the absolute best, is the prosthetic arm Spiderman fishing rod. Wow, that is absolutely ridiculous.

To wrap things up, we have the Hasselhoff video from Extra. He is absolutely hammered, talking to his daughter with a video camera. She is chastising him for drinking yet again and seems really disappointed in her father. However, it is pretty damn hilarious.

Thursday, May 3rd Show 2

7pm: To start off the evening show, we hear about Brad's wetsuit adventure. He just got his new wetsuit and had donned it for the first time. He calls Chris to see if, knowing that he would really want to see it. Chris grabs his video camera and races down to the water to meet him.

Where they live, the water is all riptides. No one ever goes swimming because it is far too dangerous. There are a handful of people at the beach, scattering from Brad's presence. Keep in mind, Brad is showing quite a bit of leg in this too small for him wetsuit. A man on a mission, Brad heads for the worse riptide of them all.

As he leaps in, he is pleasantly surprised that the wetsuit really kept him warm. The entire time, his poor 12 year old daughter remained in silence, filled with humiliation.

Yesterday, we interviewed Frank Shamrock for his upcoming fight with Phil Baroni. Phil called in to talk a little smack, and sounds like a complete jackass. We replay this clip to mock him more. He really did not make a quality impression.

Chris points out that he had to pause about three seconds before each answer to a question. Also, after listening a little more, he picks out that it is a Bronx accent that Baroni has. What does this mean? That you have to try that much harder to appear at all smart.

The guys found a poem online written by a child named Shecky. Yeah, I'm sure this is real. It is a little verse about an evil hamster. This reminds Brad of Paxy's creepy poem, "The Dog Who Howled Madness." It totally creeped Brad out.

Chris brings up the phrase "bros before hos." Whenever a guy wants to hang out with his girl instead of his friends, they always break that out. He had never really thought about it before, but realizes that he does not really by it.

Chris points out that when things have gotten really rough, it has always been the women who have stuck by him. His boys have always bailed or at least not been as supportive. Brad says even without the sex, women are just better examples of behavior than men.

Aaron in San Jose clarifies the phrase. He thinks it should only be used for when your friend's girl tries to get with you. He thinks it should never be used in any other circumstance.

8pm: We continue this discussion. I say that in a healthy relationship, you should never have to choose between your friends and your woman. I would never give my boyfriend an ultimatum between me and his boys.

It is clarified by a couple of callers that "bros before hos" does not apply to serious relationships. It is more about the woman you are casually seeing, probably more of a physical thing. That seems to make a lot more sense.

Eric in San Jose agrees that it is bull. He was accused of putting his woman before his friends. His friend got pretty burned by an ex and is saying all this because he's bitter. I guess he made a point, but I had to pull out the "and then what happened." Therefore, Chris was left no choice but to throw him in the Pit.

Chris in Hercules calls to say that this whole thing is ridiculous. That when you find a quality woman, that is a rare thing that you don't mess things up.

Pamela in Sonoma lays down another female perspective. She is first offended by the use of "hos" in the phrasing. Chris points out that it is simply because it rhymes. She also points out hypocrisy in relationships. If your friends blow you off, it is no big deal. But, if your significant other flakes, then it is a huge fight.

Drano in Hayward finally brings up something great. He says that with "bros before hos," the people saying it have no one to go home to. Exactly, way to go Drano.

Rachel in Concord and I agree that girls can be cool hanging out with the boys in the garage. Chris had said before that that is impossible. There are a lot of chill girls out there.

Larry in Napa thinks that Rachel would only be allowed to be hanging out in the garage is because they want to sleep with her. They just want to get her to get wasted so they can take advantage of her.

9pm: Mike in San Jose used to date one of these cool girls. His friends were always telling him that she was hitting on them, but she was just being herself. That meant her being friendly with her friends.

Brad's wife is one of those women who can fit in when its five guys and your girl. It makes him a little uncomfortable when she's around when guys are having their guy talk.

We start talking about friendships between men and women. They say that you can never not have wanted to have sex with friend. Some of my closest friends are men, including my best friend from college. They are trying to convince me that he has at one point wanted me.

No matter what they say, I refuse to believe this. When you know someone that well, sex is out of the question. I think it would be impossible for either of us to even think about it. We're like brother and sister.

Carlos in San Jose has a relationship like this. He says that she is a pretty girl and that there are absolutely no sexual feelings. They have slept in the same bed and that nothing happened. Thank you Carlos.

A bunch of people call to say that Chris and Brad are right and that I am wrong. If it was not so late, I would totally call him up. It really does not matter what anyone says. I understand the friendship that I have, and I do not agree with outside opinions.

Thursday, May 3rd Show 1

Hey everyone. Another double shift today for The Gray Area.

1pm: So, the guys don't know if they want to talk about this or not. Paris Hilton is shockingly on TMZ today. What is weird is that they are saying the prosecutors want to send her to jail for 45 days. I think that would be just the revamp "The Simple Life" desperately needs. That would be an awesome reality show.

I missed all of the calls because of a stupid caller. He wanted to call to say another caller was gay and I did not let him through. So, he calls me a slut and called back about fifteen times. I apologize for missing everything.

Tammy in Palo Alto is all sorts of worked up about this. She has a fourteen year old daughter who idolizes Paris Hilton and all these other anorexic celebutants. Tammy tries to talk to her about it, but cannot get through to her. When all her friends think something is cool, is it incredibly difficult to tell a teenage girl otherwise.

Chris starts talking about infomercials in the parenting sense. The one thing that Brad always has to do is buy the ridiculous amounts of school pictures. But now, they send the total package home with the kids and you can send the ones back that you do not want. Brad does not want to send pictures of his daughter back to these people.

For Chris, his irresistable infomercial is for hair growth products. He will always sit through these ads, even though he knows they do not really work. He knows the ad is working because he is not even paying attention to the pretty girl in the ad.

Jeremy in Santa Rosa is a bad person. He told his kid to pretend that he lost them. It worked because as a minor he cannot be held responsible.

2pm: I guess we started about the Flowbee, because I start getting all sorts of calls about it. There are actually people who still use it. That is unreal.

Julie in San Jose's dad has a Flowbee. He uses it every week. Julie has converted and wants one to groom her dog. Amazingly, you can actually still buy the Flowbee for sixty bucks on their website.

Uncle Buck in Concord is a Flowbee enthusiast. He has been using it since 1992. He explains that there are different adapters for several haircuts. Brad wants to know if you can use it for personal grooming.

Brad actually bought the insane knife collections they sell at 2AM. I cannot believe he bought that, they always look like such crap. It was one of those deals where you get around 200 crappy knives for about $100.

Scott in San Mateo had a friend who made the mistake of trying to use a Flowbee on his pubic hair. He ended up sucking his testicles into the machine and getting badly cut. Of course, he was incredibly embarrassed and would not go the hospital.

Chris was shaving his beard in the shower once. His hands were a little soapy and he dropped the razor. Unfortunately, it did not directly hit the shower floor. It cut him in the worst possible place. And then Chris says something so disgusting that I refuse to repeat. It grosses Brad out to the point where he says the show is officially over.

In talking about some baseball player got busted with drugs, I have to interrupt. I saw the trifecta of the Tenderloin yesterday. I was going to Union Square and hard to park on Ellis or O'Farrell or something like that. I saw a stream of urine, a topless tweaking woman, and someone smoking crack right on the corner. It was very exciting.

I'm not really sure how to sum up the last part of the show, so I'm just going to wrap this up. Have a good afternoon, we'll be back on at seven.

Wednesday, May 2nd

Hey everyone. Today should be interesting as we have UFC Champion Frank Shamrock coming in studio at 1:45. I think Chris and Brad are afraid of him.

1pm: This should be pretty fun, but the guys are wondering why Frank Shamrock would even want to fight Phil Baroni. Chris is concerned the interview will suck because he is UFC cursed. Everytime Chris is watching, the fight instantly turns into just grappleholds. He is now banned from watching UFC with his boys.

We found a video of Phil Baroni on YouTube. It is a bit disturbing, and they are going to wait to play it for Frank when he gets here. Just go to YouTube and look for "Phil The NY Badass Baroni."

From ABC News, we hear about a lawsuit going on in DC right now that just makes no sense whatsoever. A judge is suing a Korean couple for losing a pair of pants in their drycleaning facility. The thing is, he is suing them for $67 million. No, it wasn't holding a winning lottery ticket. They were just his favorite pair and he wanted to wear them on his first day as a judge.

For some reason, he includes ten years of weekend car rentals to take his clothes to an alternate dry cleaner. I'm from the DC area, why didn't he just take the Metro? Or walk? Or take a damn cab? That is absolutely insane.

I feel terrible for these people. All this legal fees are tearing apart their lives. In the article, the woman says she just wants to move back to Korea. They had offered him up to $12,000 before he came up with this unbelievable amount.

2pm: Frank Shamrock has arrived and Phil Baroni is rumoured to be calling in soon. He explains that the reason this is such a big deal is that Phil challenged him a few years ago and dropped out. There has been quite of bit of smack talking and Frank cannot wait to kick his ass.

The guys talk about there are two groups of UFC fighters. There are those in great shape like Frank and there are those who are more butterbeaning. Frank says that size is not as important as technique in this type of fighting.

Frank did an appearance on "Walker: Texas Ranger." They ask how far you have to dial things back to make him look good. At first, Chuck Norris was supposed to beat him in a fight, but instead they rewrote the script so that he was shot instead.

The guys ask him about the showy aspect of UFC. There is a lot of talking and staging in the fights. Frank's answer is simply, "We are in the business of marketing. We are not in the business of fighting." That is part of why he walked away.

We hear from Phil Baroni. He starts off swearing and angry at us. Furthermore, he says that Frank is full of crap and is a money hungry whore. After a few minutes they are done with Phil and say goodbye.

We actually get a call from Fort Stewart, Georgia thanking Frank for training under him. He is in the military and says the skills Frank taught him have really helped him to move up.

The calls light up for Frank. Everyone seems to be really behind him in this fight. After the way things went with Phil, it certainly seems like Frank is the good guy. He even gets a call from a little girl who seems to have a big crush on him.

Well, with that we are off until our double shift tomorrow. I apologize to my mother, have a good day.

Tuesday, May 1st

Hi!! Today is just a day show today, but we are all still a little insane from the marathon yesterday. I start off by threatening not to take calls today.

1pm: The guys start off somewhat randomly as usual. Brad talks about his former dreams to be the first man on Mars. He has since realized that this is not going to happen. One of many reasons would be that he is 6'6". They realize that they could probably just send his head. Hmm... that sounds like an interesting idea.

So, Ozzfest has been announced to be free this year. The guys are a little bitter when it comes to Ozzy concerts. Both times Ozzy had a concert in Fresno that they promoted, he cancelled the show only an hour before. They had a huge pre-party and had to announce to the drunken fans that the show was cancelled.

The first way you can get free tickets is to buy Ozzy's new cd. Um, that does not imply free. Supposedly, there is a code inside the cd that gives you the online passcode to get tickets. But, you are not even guaranteed tickets by doing this. After this, you will be able to sign yourself up for a lifetime of spam as another option to get tickets.

Brad does play a bit of Ozzy's new song off his computer. Wow, that's the first time we've ever been able to get that to work. Chris actually admits he likes it.

Don Ho died. Sac is able to find Ho's version of "Shock the Monkey" before anyone else. This leads us to start playing ridiculous versions of songs. Oh no, this means Wing once again singing "Back in Black."

Looking for other strange covers, I stumble upon Crispin Glover covering Michael Jackson's "Ben." I'm assuming this is from when he did "Willard." It is soooooo incredibly creepy. I'm having problems with my links, but just look up "Music Video for Ben With Crispin Glover" on Youtube. Wow.

To wrap up the hour, we learn that Chris an expert on duck rape. Uh... that's really weird. He claims this only because he grew up across from a duck pond. Suuuure. So, the reason this comes up, is because an article has come up about the complexities of duck genitals. The scientists are trying to find out why 97% of birds do not have penises, apparently they just touch their special parts.

What's even weirder, is that although ducks mate, female ducks are often raped by stray mallards. But, the female ducks are able to control their fertilization so that the raping ducks are unable to impregnate them.

2pm: Chris is very happy today. He finally saw a hot, well-dressed woman walking down the street near the office. They claim that they have never seen the complete package on Battery. Then, getting coffee, he saw another one, and got really excited.

Brad is excited and nervous because they are having a photo shoot on May 9th. He has been stressing about when he should get his haircut for this, and decided to get it today. Last time, his Supercuts haircut was disappointing, so he went to a traditional barber shop.

The first thing out of the barber's mouth is "my uncle was caught coming out of a whore house in Mexico." Throughout the entire haircut, this barber is telling inane stories. Brad felt tortured, he would have rather had a bad haircut, than to have been through this. He now knows far too much about this man's life.

They start going through other mini-prison sentences that life presents us with. One is being in the backseat of a car filled with people who all know each other much better than you know them. So, you have to sit through all their inside jokes.

Another is when you go to the new girlfriend's family's house for a holiday. You don't really know anyone and you are incredibly nervous. It just lasts forever. Chris says when you are dragged to a concert of a band that you are just not into or actively dislike.

They ask me what this would be for girls. I have to say the gynecologist visit. When they are doing that ever-so-personal exam, they always want to have a conversation. It's just so incredibly awkward. Also, on the medical tip, the dentist. Also another situation where maybe conversation is not entirely appropriate. Chris and Brad think they do it on purpose to torture you.

Alissa emails a great one. Being the designated driver in a car full of drunk people. Ugh, that is the worst. Everything is sooo funny for everyone who is drunk, and you are just becoming increasingly annoyed.

Joshua in Concord had a mini-prison experience with a girl. He was dragged to a Journey/Def Leppard song. And, he could not leave until "Pour Some Sugar On Me." When was that? Obviously, the last encore. Poor Joshua.

Well, we are done for the day. We'll see you tomorrow!! I apologize to my mother, have a good afternoon.