Thursday, March 29th

Hey everyone. Just letting you know that although we have been gone these days, we haven't forgotten about you. The Gray Area WILL be back on Monday, so do not fret, my dear readers.

To tide you over, here is some crazy stuff I found online.

This is what happens to everyone's favorite Muppet, Kermit, when he falls into sex, drugs and depression. This video is pretty hilarious, but not for the faint of heart.

If you're really missing us just too much, you can play this game from Adult Swim and pretend to kill yourself.

In honor of Brad's utter geekiness, here is a Star Wars poll you can take. I know it's not Star Trek, but it still may be goobery enough.

Speaking of nerds, here are a whole bunch of geeks in their Transformers costumes. Some of these are actually pretty impressive, but where's my boy Soundwave?

That's it for now, but I will try and hook up with some more stuff tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 27th

Hey everyone. The Gray Area will be off Wednesday through Friday of this week. What does this mean? Well, sadly, this is Dan's last day. We will miss you Dan and your dreamcatching, zombie-hunting ways.

7pm: We are going to speak to Craig Newmark from Craigslist again tonight. This will be strictly a question and answer session, full of calls with questions. Thanks to Craig for helping us out yet again. Chris starts off asking about a search he did looking for a puppy. He was surprised to learn that Craigslist does not allow selling pets on the site. They do allow rescue services, but having dealt with the SPCA, decided it would be in the best interest of the animals to not allow it. He says pets bring the most heated bickering on the site. Part of this is animal rights people who have even had to be visited by the police for harrassment.

After a slow start with calls and some berating of the listeners by Chris, the phones light up. Scott in Vacaville asks about his recent appearance on NBC's Identity game show that aired about a week ago. To see a clip of this, go to NBC.com's video section.

Chris asks if the Best Of section will have anything other than rants included. He would like to see some of the most ridiculous ads included in the section. Craig says that these are solely determined by flagging by the users, that it is not purposely just for rants. One of his favorites is a job ad looking for someone to take a CPA Ethics exam for them. Ahh the irony is fantastic. Craig thinks this may be a future candidate for Vice President.

Mike in Belmont asks about all the fake ads and spamming that occurs in the Personals section. Craig says that this is a problem throughout the Internet. He says there are working to keep up with these people, but that it is difficult to shut them all down. They are also trying to enlist some bigger companies to help them prevent these from happening in the first place. Mike says he has had success, but that he gets an abundant amount of spam, particularly from security companies. But, he says this is no different than Match.com of other dating sites.

James in San Jose asks if he would ever run for President. Craig says he thinks that kind of job sucks. Once on April Fool's Day, he said he was considering running for Mayor. He was surprised that it struck a nerve and that there was a lot of support for this. He thinks that it would be unhealthy for both him and the city if he were Mayor.

Sam in San Jose asks if he ever has run into legal problems with the prostitution ads on the site. Craig says that law enforcement tends to be aware that there are just the forum and not encouraging this. Furthermore, he says that they do not want this on the site, but that being a user-moderated community, the flaggers are more concerned with spam than with prostitution.

This was the third time that we have spoken to Craig and it seems to be getting smoother and smoother. Chris, however, is aware that he cannot help but stutter when speaking to Craig.

Bob in Discovery Bay wants to set the tone with the Pet Peeves of cheap people. The two things he mentions are the tiny cups for water at fast food restaurants and broken springs at the gas pump that forces you to buy more gas than he wants.

The guys spend a little time speaking to Dan as it is his last day. He tells us that he is going to be working for Traffic. The guys want to know what his alias will be. Dan wonders if he should be "The Assmaster." I think that would be great, especially if he is working for KPFA or KNEW. Could you imagine "The Assmaster" doing traffic reports for Michael Savage?

8pm: The guys talk about building a show and the difference that is here. They want to thank Dan for his contributions on the show, and of course, he is eating while they do this.

Ok, so with baseball season upon us, we are going to play some horrendous versions of "The Star Spangled Banner." Brad reads the lyrics to make more poignant everyone's mistakes. Chris tries to convince him to read it in baby talk, but Brad isn't having that. Chris says that he would rather see "America the Beautiful" be the national anthem.

Andrew in Cupertino is concerned about the zombies. He is afraid without Dan's zombie-hunting skills that his brains will be devoured in the night. I understand your concern, Andrew, and will be sleeping with a machete myself.

Mott in Santa Rosa would like to hear some more Dan comedy being that it is his last night. I don't think we could send him off without it.

Before that, we are going to play some National Anthem screw-ups. We play one of the worst first, link to this, because although we played it, you have to see everyone's facial expressions. The best thing is that he is a police officer and has the words in front of him.

Next, we play a clip of a girl who had won a contest to sing the anthem. She completely forgets the words and has to be coached through the rest. This girl could not possibly have been happier to have the song end.

We come back from break with some Dan Carlisle stolen comedy. He will be doing a couple jokes from his favorite, Sarah Silverman. I love this so, so much. I will have to call Dan just to ask him to read some jokes for me.

The guys point out that Dan's legacy will live on here on "The Gray Area" with his instant creepology. We can thank Dan for teaching us that adding "little boy" to any innocuous question, instantly makes it creepy.

Next, we play the clip of one of the most embarrassing National Anthem incidents. This woman first screwed up the words and walked off the ice of the hockey game. She came back to try again and then falls right on her ass. Poor thing, she looks utterly humiliated.

The guys find another one with a woman with a crazy ass beehive. She does a pretty kick ass Donald Duck impression in this rendition.

Last but not least, we play a montage of horrendous National Anthems. Someone on YouTube did an incredible job with this.

9pm: Monk in San Jose wonders why we only really hear the National Anthem in sporting events. He is surprised that political candidates do not use the anthem in their campaign speeches.

So, as it is Dan's last night, the guys want to do something nice and decide to play Celebrity Tag for the remaining Ron White tickets. They are shocked to see Dan's lack of enthusiasm as he reveals that he, in fact, hates the game.

Somehow, Sidney in Fairfield, through no coaching of our own (wink wink) decided to pit Dan against Chris, Brad and I. Dan actually hangs in for a really long time. I'm impressed. Perhaps such a challenge is the motivation he needs in the world of Celebrity Tag.

A caller gets himself thrown in the Pit for picking the wrong team, starting a slaughter. Four callers were thrown in the Pit of Mediocrity simply for our enjoyment. Many of them had been holding for twenty minutes. I'm sorry to all those victims of our sadistic nature. Well, not really, it was hilarious.

Finally, we play another round and Katie in Sebastapol is able to get some tickets to Ron White on May 18th at The Warfield.

10pm: So after giving the tickets to Mike in San Bruno because we are all out of celebrities, we read a story about the end of the world. They have created a creature that is 85% sheep and 15% human. It looks like a sheep but half of its organs are human. How incredibly disturbing is this? The worst part is that the brain itself will be partly human. AHHHH!!

Brad is a big fan of Survival of the Fittest and also hates people. For him, the idea of breeding freaky sheep in order to keep more people alive, seems like a terrible idea. Think of all the traffic Brad. The lines at Costco.

I have to ask if those scary people in the boonies would feel more justified having sex with a sheep that was part human. More than that, the guys point out, it is part you. They say you could defend this atrocity as being a form of masturbation. What if someone impregnated the sheep chimera in this situation? Is it worse that it is inbreeding or interspecies?

Brad is particularly terrified about animals with cognitive abilities. James in American Canyon brings up the chimpanzees in Africa that learned how to make spears and used them to kill bush babies. He, like Brad, sees this as something that could be incredibly frightening.

Ok, which is worse: sex with a girl in a coma, sex with a dead girl, or sex with a sheep that is half you? This had to be brought up, as we have often discussed the coma vs dead girl sex. This show is just so incredibly wrong.

Joey in Pinole informed us about a new movie coming out about this very situation. It is called "Black Sheep" and the trailer is so incredibly hilarious. I have to see this movie. This may be the new movie perfect for getting blazed. All three of us cannot wait until this movie makes its way over from New Zealand.

In honor of Dan's last night, we play one of his favorite songs from "The Gray Area." It is "He'll F*** You Up." This may be the only Christian song that Dan likes.

So, with that, we'll miss you Dan. It's been fun. Who will talk basketball with me and share M&Ms? Good luck at your new gig. The show will be off until Monday, and be sure to tune in then, as we will have some big news. I apologize to my mother. Have a good night.

Monday, March 26th

Hey Everyone! Well, I think we have the computer fixed, so I will be attempting to blog tonight. Sorry for the lack of posts last week and all of the errors.

7pm: Brad starts off with reason #49 of why he hates all people. They go to Costco (these stories always start in Costco) and he got irritated because everyone was leaving their carts in the middle of aisles. Chris' theory is that the more illegal the alien, the more in the middle of the aisle they leave the cart. Brad was having a pretty bad day anyway and T got herself kicked out of the store for bringing in a dog. So, he and his daughter go to get some pizza, and Brad drops his phone, which rolls under the soda machine. He had to lie down on that sticky floor and reach into that dark, gooey mess of crusty syrup to get it.

Then, Brad makes the mistake of trying to get gas there. Of course the line is insanely long and there is someone who has no concept of quickly using a credit card. Walking back to the food court, he steps on a bunch of cherry tomatoes, slips and falls. Poor Brad, what a terrible day.

Ok so there is yet again more news about Anna Nicole Smith's autopsy. There were nine drugs in her system, implying that her body was purely pharmaceutical. They go through the report, and stop on one statement that really sticks out. On her orifices, Dr. Perper reports " the anus is unremarkable." Of course, the guys go through far too many options for how they could have described this particularly sensitive piece of her anatomy. Of course, they also would like to know, what is exactly a "remarkable anus?"
There were two big Season Finales last night, "Rome" and "Battlestar Galactica." Chris is shocked that "Rome" was the Series Finale and not just the Season Finale. He is devastated as Dan informs him that, like "Deadwood," they decided to cancel the series because of enormously high production expenses. Chris decides that he thinks the cause for the show should not be a blood drive or the homeless, but to get "Rome" back on the air.

The guys play the "Kenya" song again after an angry email from Bill. I actually woke up this morning singing this song. Chris tries to extract some sympathy for having the "Good Times" theme in his head. He only has the line, "Temporary layoffs, easy credit ripoffs, Good Times." I have no sympathy for you Chris, you and Brad deserve the most severe cerebro-redundegram torture possible.

8pm: Chris and Brad bring up a new subject, "Does your partner think you're an idiot?" Brad is starting to believe that his wife thinks this is the case. He was sleeping in the living room and was making up his sleeping area. She checks on him, and tells him to make sure he "does not roll into the fireplace and burn to death." He is insulted by the fact that he would not already know not to roll into the fireplace. He goes through all that would have to happen for him to do this, and it would take quite a bit of effort while sleeping.

For Chris, he has a lot of power tools that has a pull cord. Last weekend, he pulled four of them out of the spool, although he has had them forever. He can fix a lot of things, but can only restring a pull chord about 80% because he does not have the patience to do it correctly. When he does this is the only time Ace speaks to him like a five year old. He swears she is this close to patting his head, giving him as much time as he wants to fix it.

The guys need a city to pick on in the Bay Area. They have always had one and feel somewhat lost without it. I argue that it should be Milpitas for the fact that it smells of sewage and dirty bay water and has the most stressful, but price-efficient mall in the Bay Area. This leads us to a whole discussion of discount store shopping. Frank in Fremont thinks the Great Mall is awesome because of hot, Asian girls and a Dave and Busters where you can slam drinks before you start shopping.

I have to make it clear what I think of the Great Mall. I do think you can get some good deals there, however, it almost may be more worth going to see the mayhem. The Great Mall is not filled with groups of stuck-up teens walking around with Jamba Juice or frappucinos. Instead, there are couples who have had children too young, working dead-end jobs with a soulless, "my life has no meaning" look in the eyes. You will probably see stretch pants, fat asses, and children with snot across their cheeks. Furthermore, if you are looking for organization than the Great Mall is not the place to go. These stores make Ross look like the Macy's in Union Square.

9pm: We continue with our attempt to find the red-headed stepchild of the Bay Area. John in Palo Alto agrees with me about Milpitas. He claims it is the end of the universe. On the other side of the spectrum, he says Menlo Park. The reason is because it is such an uppity area. I point out that Menlo Park does have a plethora of rug stores. I am not kidding when I say that in the 10 blocks of Menlo Park's downtown, there are about five overpriced, cheesy, suburban-crack rug stores.

Another John in Palo Alto says that it should be in fact, Palo Alto. The reason being that it is full of incredibly snooty people. Having lived in Palo Alto for a few months, I would have to agree with that assertion. First of all, they have the country club known as Stanford within their city limits.

Lisa in Livermore goes back to the white trash towns. She recommends Empire, near Modesto. Lisa grew up there and says it is backwards and seems more like Oklahoma than California. This is almost wrong, being that just about everyone in the town is related to her.

Scott in Corte Madera goes a little off topic with a suggestion for Brad. Brad gets tweaked when people do not acknowledge a hello from him. It drives him absolutely crazy. Scott thinks that when someone blows you off, you should say aggressively, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."

We also get calls for Modesto, Manteca, Goshen and Oroville. We are spread all over the map on this one, but unsurprisingly the calls turned to the Central Valley. It was really only a matter of time before the home of the tweakers was brought up in this category. What is it about yellow-toothed, underweight, scraggly-haired yokels that invokes so much disdain?

San Carlos is thrown in the mix for being completely uninteresting. Emeryville is mentioned I assume solely for the hell that is the Ikea and all of the suburban strip mall shopping that has gone along with it. Let's get really crazy and have a California Pizza Kitchen AND a Barnes and Noble.

Other cities mentioned are Castro Valley, Vallejo, Fairfield, and Raymond. And of course, it was only a matter of time before the city of Berkeley reared it's dreadlocked, patchouli-smelling head. The guys are concerned that Berkeley may be a little too cliche, as it is mocked relentlessly throughout the country. Tracy emailed some further evidence for Berkeley, sending in pictures of the ever-terrifying "How Berkeley Can You Be" parade. What would the parade be without a fiftysomething naked man?

10pm: Chris in SF calls in to shed some light on Anna Nicole's anus. He performs autopsies and informs us that any body part can in fact be deemed "unremarkable." Chris and Brad, true to their nature, ask him about what is inserted in the unspoken orifice during preparation for burial. The discussion of this only further cements Chris' wishes to be cremated.
It is time to play Mental Speedbump for tickets to see Ron White at The Warfield on Friday, May 18th. If you don't win and would like to go, you can purchase tickets at Live Nation. Laura in Concord wins the first pair by attrition. After about thirty seconds, Brad has had enough and gives her tickets just to make her stop.

Meredith in Mountain View calls in for the second pair, but is extremely picky when it comes to topics. They keep letting her play, but I think no matter what, two topics is enough. Eventually, they are fed up as well and put her on infinite hold. I think it's about damn time. Her tickets go to Mike in Oakland who puts in a solid effort with his attempt.

John in San Jose has another suggestion for Brad when he is ignored on the street. His comeback has a military air to it, being "Carry on" or "as you were."

I found a list for them of "The Thirty Strangest Deaths in History" from Neatorama.com.

I like "Death by Beard." "Austrian Hans Steininger was famous for having the world’s longest beard (it was 4.5 feet or nearly 1.4 m long) and for dying because of it.One day in 1567, there was a fire in town and in his haste Hans forgot to roll up his beard. He accidentally stepped on his beard, lost balance, stumbled, broke his neck and died!" All he had to do was give it a little trim.

Jack Daniel of the delicious Tennessee Whiskey is on the list for "Death from Stubbing One's Toe." He decided "to come in to work early one morning in 1911. He wanted to open his safe but couldn’t remember the combination. In anger, Daniel kicked the safe and injured his toe, which later developed an infection that killed him!"

There are a lot of other nutty stories on this list, so I would suggest checking it out. If not for the story, just for the great old-timey facial hair.

With that, I apologize to my mother, have a good night.

Thursday and Friday, March 22nd and 23rd

Sorry there are no blogs for these days. My computer hates me and will not stop crashing. Hopefully, it will be fixed next week.

Tuesday, March 20th

Hey everyone. Is it just me, or does it not feel like a Tuesday?

7pm: So the guys start off making fun of me and Chris uses the word "jewy." We then go over whether or not that is ok. Chris then asks Dan what the most offensive word would be for the gay community. By annoying Dan, the guys are led to reveal that they were informed that someone important in their lives has "taken umbridge" with them. Now, Dan and I do not know who this is, but think that the phrasing is a little fancy-pants in nature.

Nate in Oakland calls in to ask what exactly is "umbridge?" He also asks Brad for a Penile Euphemism of the Day. He has not imparted us with one of these in quite a while. For tonight, the euphemism is a "belt-lined perpendiculator."

John in Vallejo calls in for advice about a situation he has gotten himself into. He told a female friend that her eyebrows are uneven and that she smells like cat poop. She cried when he said that, and Dan says she only cried because she cannot comeback at him with cutting off sex. I have to interject at that point, saying that maybe she just cried because her feelings were hurt.

Earlier, I said that I had a professor who valued using a smaller, more straightforward vocabulary. Todd calls in to point out that the guys had just used "acerbic" and "ubiquitous." He thought they were both Chris, leading them to ask if people cannot differentiate their voices.

Jeff in Santa Clara says that they sound alike on his radio. He thinks it does not really hurt the show. During this conversation, both Chris and Brad end their statements identifying themselves by saying "their name over."

The calls light up with listeners testifying that they can tell Chris and Brad's voices apart. They point out that Brad's voice is deeper and that Chris always says the phone number. Also, they have very distinct laughs. Frank in Fremont says he could tell because of the different brands of cigarettes they used to smoke.

John in Los Gatos actually is enjoying the "over" thing, saying that it is helpful. I think John is crazy, being that the "over" thing makes me want to jam a fork in my ear.

8pm: As a follow-up to the Hooters discussion, we found an article that Hooters will be opening up in the Holy Land. Brad points out that this may be a sign of the apocalypse, but Chris and I agree that Israel is not the Holy place you would expect.

A 27 year old virgin has posted an ad on the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist looking for someone to deflower her. This is really sad and Chris thinks that she still might not be ready based on her statement, "help me experience the wonders of love." What the hell is she doing on Craigslist?

Brad is wondering what creature this woman is? The circumstances are somewhat bizarre and she must have something a little off about her.

In South Africa, they are giving women a condom-like anti-rape device. It has fishlike teeth that attach to the head and shaft of the penis. The only way the teeth can be removed is by a doctor, in order to prove that an attempt at penetration has occured. The guys point out that the fact that it is on the market is enough of a message. Just the slight chance should be enough to deter even the sickest rapists in the country.

The guys found another virgin on Craigslist, this time it's a 29-year-old guy. His biggest problem has "been with my insecurities with my size." He says, "some women say size matters, so if that is an issue maybe you can teach me how to please you in other ways." Wow. He should hook up with the slighter younger version we spoke of before.

Ok, it is about time for another round of Top Dollar/Bottom Dollar. Brad has always bought really cheap headphones for work, but is thinking about firing on an expensive pair.

Bottom Dollar:
- Caramel Corn - it's all the same
- Lawn Furniture
- Porn (from Scott in Petaluma, but Brad and Chris reprimand him for paying for porn at all)

Top Dollar:
- Hookers
- Lingerie

9pm: Chris is a little upset about something with Ace. He is extremely happy about most things, but she will not give him massages. If any, he will usually get a two-minute massage, because her hands get tired. I ask if at least he will get the occassional backscratch, he says rarely. Brian in El Sobrante is a massage therapist. He says that you do not have to be certified to be a massage therapist, which is somewhat disturbing. For that reason, you should go top dollar to some degree.

Bottom Dollar:
- Dogs (mutts tend to rock)
- Mexican Food (Elisha says gourmet mexican food is crap)
- Chinese Food
- The second or third beer run
- Dentists
- Tattoo "artist"

Top Dollar:
- Vets
- Toilet Paper
- Barbers (Brad had a disappointing experience at SuperCuts)

The Mexican food comment takes us to a tangent about chefs. Wait a minute, The Gray Area went on a tangent??!!! We all agree in a rare circumstance that all chefs are alcoholic psychopaths. As each of us has worked in a restaurant at one point or another, we all have experienced the wrath of an off-kilter chef.

Mark in Palo Alto calls in to say that he does not like the show. He is homeless and has no other entertainment besides the radio. He likes Leykis and hangs on with us, but just does not get it. He says he is homeless but he owns two homes, so I don't understand. And, he is sleeping in a 300ZX. Am I the only one who is lost on this one?

10pm: We continue with Top Dollar/Bottom Dollar. Charles in SF says that you should spend top dollar on a mattress. He also says that you can spend bottom dollar on vodka and just run it a couple times through a filter to make it top dollar.

Steak is worth top dollar sometimes, but may be worth bottom dollar occassionally. TVs is considered top to a degree. Knives are also top, yet Brad's favorite knife was only $20. Continuing with weapons, Brad says that guns and ammo need to be top dollar as well.

Frank in SF brings up top dollar for sushi. It really does make a hell of a difference. And the worst thing in the world is bad sushi.

Bathing suits are top for girls, bottom for guys. Cooking wine, butter and milk are all bottom dollar.

I ask about coffee makers. Chris and a drip and grind by Cuisenart that is expensive that he swears by. He says that if you are into coffee, it makes a difference for some reason and it is really worth the cash.

Howard in SF calls to ask what we think about what has been happening with Internet radio. Basically, the RIAA is going after these online stations for a new fee per song. As some of these stations do not have advertising, they cannot afford these fees.

Chris wonders if they can just change their web address and their IP in order to escape that. Howard contends that these stations would utterly lose their audiences in doing so.

Brad starts talking about the Sims game that his daughter plays. She has started to destroy them by locking them in enclosures keeping them from food and the bathroom. Brad gave her cheat codes that gave her so much money that she can do whatever she wants. Chris wonders why cheat codes do not inhibit the game playing experience before.

Chris brings up a scenario where Brad played T off using Paxy. They went to Costco and he bought a five pound bag of King Crab legs. He forbode his wife from eating this without him. Last night he called his daughter over break and began to question whether his wife was eating any of the King Crab. The reason he is able to do this, is because she hates the crab.

To end the show, the guys read a story entitled "Matadors Chances at Fatherhood Hurt By Goring." The Spanish matador was impaled in the groin by the bull in an upward motion. Wow, I'm not a guy but I can picture how horrifying that must of been. However, good for that bull.

Monday, March 19th

Hey everyone. Hope you all had a good weekend. Mine was somewhat sad, as my Terps lost pathetically to Butler.

7pm: We start off talking a little bit about our teams. Dan's Spartans, Chris' Wildcats and my Terps all lost. Of course, Chris deflates Dan and my opportunity to torture him for losing first.

So, Brad had to go to the dentist about three weeks ago. He was thrilled to find out that he did not need a root canal. However, on Friday he began to get a toothache. In the middle of the night, he wakes up to a swollen cheek and an utterly painful tooth. T leaves a message on the dentist's machine to see if he can somehow get a weekend appointment.

So, of course, he turns to a giant bottle of Bacardi they had purchased at Costco. He keeps pounding rum and it is not easing his pain. Finally after the bottle is almost halfway empty, the pain is completely gone. At 7:30 he passes out and wakes up to the bed spinning and the phone ringing at 9:30. It is his dentist telling him to come in right away. They go in and he finds out that he has an infection. He gets some Vicoden and antibiotics.

Finally, still spinning, Brad gets back home and is miserable. His hangover is exponentially increasing. He tries to force himself to vomit, but it is just not happening. So, he stumbles over to the bed and decides to camp out there for the next 24 hours. Just as he is starting to feel slightly better, T comes into the room upset. What she tells him is that a neighbor had seen his 12-year old daughter walking the neighborhood dogs and invited her over for some food and beer.

Brad immediately forgets the ill feeling in his stomach and marches down to the leasing office. As they are closed, he decides to go door-to-door to find this guy. T asks an attorney in the complex what they should do and he suggests they call the police. Finally, after two hours the police arrive and they get the name and phone number of the pervy neighbor. As he and the police are speaking, it is finally time for him to purge the vile concotion in his stomach.

The man told the police that he was confused about Paxy's age. That he mixed her up with another, 23-year old, neighbor. Brad has still not spoken to this man, but is planning to in the near future. He claims he will just inform this man of the pain he will incur if he ever comes within spitting distance of his daughter. Although, knowing Brad, it is questionable he will be able to maintain his composure.

We speak a little about March Madness again. My bracket is by far the worst. I have only 7 of the Sweet Sixteen. And, I have lost 2 of my Final Four teams. Stupid Chris has 14 of 16 in the Sweet Sixteen. In the mascot pool, it went 22-10 in the first round and then utterly pooped the bed, going 3-13 in the second round. Wow, that's way worse than I did.

In all of this basketball watching, we realized something. Only in basketball, can breaking the rules be beneficial. We point out that there are occassions in football where someone will use a delay of game penalty on purpose, but that is rare and not nearly as useful.

8pm: The more I watch basketball, the more that annoys me. I hate that a game can be decided by free throws. If a team has controlled the entire game, they can lose by choking on the line. Although, my Terps have been utterly burned by this, losing to Duke through fouling with only a minute left to play.

Mike in SF brings up hitting below the belt. You can get away with a couple and if you get one good one in, you can completely eliminate your opponent.

In football, the closest rule violations are intentional delay of game penalties and downing the ball. Downing the ball seems the closest to this, because it really does make a difference. It allows the defense no opportunity to recover a turnover. It seems to me that it should be considered intentional grounding.

Of course, in talking about sports, somehow we get sidetracked into Hooters. Several things are discussed. The tops look good on about 80% of the girls, the shorts maybe only 20%. They also really hate the thick, shiny stockings. What's up with those? Also, they ask if Hooters needs to decide whether it is for men or families and stay out of the middle.

Dan brings up that they have been using Dick Vitale in the recent Hooters commercials. These are just horrible, but maybe that is because Vitale worships Duke. Either way, Dukie V is a self-proclaimed family man, therefore fitting into the argument that they are pushing a family friendly atmosphere.

9pm: Tim in Dublin just broke up with a Hooters bartender. Brad asks if she was everything you would expect from a Hooter's waitress. He says that in the beginning that was the case, in the end not so much. He said the shorts were no good and greatly inhibited her ass.

Dan asks the guys how they want the Hooters girls to act. Chris says he wants them Phase 1 flirty. Not over the top, but just a little sexy. This leads them to the discussion of strip clubs that serve steak. I think that's disgusting. How gross must that kitchen be.

Chris takes a break from calls to play a clip from The Simpsons. It is the episode with Uncle Moe's Family Feedbag. The best part is the birthday song where Moe is wearing a basket of fries on his head. That's awesome.

Anthony in Morgan Hill is about to turn twenty-one. For some reason, he thinks it would be a good idea to drive that night. He says he wants to just order a breathalizer to have with him. We say he should just take a cab, but should maybe just chill tonight and wait to go out with his friends tomorrow. Going to a bar by yourself on your 21st is kinda sad.



We start talking about chasers and Carlos in Campbell says that Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are great as chasers. They also somehow start talking about pistachios. Brad says there are good as a crust for fish in a nice restaurant. What the hell is going on with this show? I change my headphones for two seconds and completely lose what is going on.


From here, I give up on the blog for the last twenty minutes of the hour. The guys went off about snakes in a can, and it just denegrated from there into chaos. It was fun, but entirely inexplicable.


10pm: We had asked a few times if anyone had seen Jeopardy on Friday, when there was the first three-way tie in the show's history. Chuck in San Jose says that the guy with the most money tied on purpose. I guess that he was confident that he would win on Monday, and wanted to win even more money.


Paul in San Jose is blasted and wants to play a game with us. Apparently, he thinks we are the Adam Carolla show, because it is the Germany or Florida game. It was pretty funny though, because he was that hammered and had no idea what was going on.


In this drunken mess, Jim in Livermore calls from his van with another game. But, of course, Jim was sent back to the Pit of Mediocrity. It is impressive that he is able to continue to climb out over and over again.


We found out today that the guy who played Cooter on Dukes of Hazzard has a website,
Cooter's Place. The reason this comes up is because the show's stars had a performance cancelled with the Cincinatti Pops. The justification for this is that the show had supposed racist overtones.


Brad says that the show loses him when they make those jumps in the General Lee. Chris warns that if anyone calls to say that there are 12 of those cars that he would hunt him down and bitchslap him. Immediately, Louis in Fremont calls to point out that there were 18 cars not 12. Oh man, tonight is a silly, silly night.


The guys play the audio of the end of Friday's Jeopardy. The answer was "Who is Bonnie Parker?" The other two contestants had 8,000 and the defending champion had 13,600 and definitely tied on purpose.

Ok, so now we are going to go over the list of the 10 Worst TV Spinoffs of All Time. These are great and they hit it right on the head. Number 10 is "Joanie Loves Chachie." I have never seen it, but heard it mentioned in jokes over and over again.

Number 9 is "That 80's Show" which was absolute garbage. Number 8 is "The Girl from U.N.C.L.E" spun off from "The Man from U.N.C.L.E" of which I had never heard.

Seven is "After MASH" which basically included Colonel Potter crying over and over again. Number 6 is "The Bradys" which is them all grown up. I don't remember that, but I do remember the Brady Christmas specials. Those were classic.

"Checking In," a spin off from "The Jeffersons" comes in at Number 5. I guess Florence became Executive housekeeper at a hotel in Manhattan. Hilarity does not ensue.

"Enos" at Number 4 is off the "Dukes of Hazzard." It is a classic fish out of water story, where the goofy character is paired with a black cop in the LAPD. HAHA. Isn't that clever?

At Number 3 is "Sanford Arms," from "Sanford and Son" that left Brad incredibly disappointed. Second on the list is "The Tortellis," spun off from "Cheers." No, it does not involve Carla, but does have her crass ex-husband Nick and his trashy second wife.

Finally, topping the list is the "Hello Larry," which I have never ever heard of. I guess it was kind of a spin off of "MASH" but seemed closer related to "Diff'rent Strokes."

And with that, I apologize to my mother, have a good night.

Thursday, March 15th

Today is a happy day here so far. Maryland and Michigan State won today and the evil empire, Duke, has lost. How utterly fantastic. I am pretty out of it from waking up so early to watch the games, but hopefully will pull through until eleven.

7pm: We start off discussing March Madness. All of us are stoked because Duke lost. Brad asks if the glee from their defeat is compromised by me picking them to win the game in my bracket. Not even a little bit, because I will always choose to lose money over Duke winning. Chris points out that noone expected that, but I have to pass it along that ESPN has been pushing that pick all week.

Brad and his daughter were out today and she mentioned that she had used the mf-bomb. He expects that his 12-year-old daughter to not use profanity until she is eighteen. Chris tries to convince Brad that this is a mistake, that he should teach her profanity sooner rather than later.

The guys explained this last night, but reiterate it now. As "little boy" will add creepiness to any statement, "by-the-sea" will add that air of loveliness to any horrifying statement. Because of the deaths in their apartment complex, the rename the building, "The Charnal House By-The-Sea." The violence is perfectly offset by this hyphenated addition.

They have another step in instant message changing to add to this. You can take all of the sex out of statement by adding "Mrs. Butterworth." Chris says something horrific to Brad to prove the point, but even that phrase cannot soothe Brad's pain.

So, I found something online today that disturbed me to a part of my soul of which I was previously unaware. A young woman has been found to have a nipple, yes a nipple, on her foot. Look at that, isn't that gross? Even creepier, it has hair.

The girl is understandably upset by this. Chris, Brad and Dan think that if she would turn her trouble to foot fetish work, she could be a millionaire. Ugh. This is really creeping me out. They reveal that also in this article, there are cases where people have superfluous nipples on their face.

The guys return to the profanity discussion. They ask at what age is it ok to use profanity in front of your parents. I ask them if they first learned curse words by being in the car with their dads. That's where I first heard those words.

Jackie in San Jose learned to swear as a kid from her mother in the car. Because of this influence, she ended up using "a-hole" in front of a family friend as a little girl.

8pm: Gerianne in Sonoma says that she has teenage girls and that she never wants them to swear in front of her. She grew up with old school parents who would never allow her to swear in front of them.

Cornfed Okie emails in that at the age you can speak to your children about sex intelligently, that is the age they can swear in front of you. The guys both say that they would feel much more comfortable using the worst curse words with their parents rather than talking about sex. They also go to, which is worse, talking about what you do, or what they do. This leaves me wide open to start impersonating their mother's talking about sex. How incredibly fun to make them so uncomfortable.

Being that UNC is not playing all that well against Eastern Kentucky, we have to return to college basketball again. Chris mentions that the Pac-10 never gets enough cred, making me go off. I am so sick of Pac-10 teams not backing up their seedings.

So, we print out an enormous amount of news stories everyday that we never use. So, tonight they are going to go through a bunch of them, thus entitling tonight "Throwaway Thursday."

The first story, a woman looked up "how to commit murder" on Google and then murdered her husband. You would think she would reformat her hard drive so she would not get busted. The best part is that she is an attorney.

9pm: The guys remind everyone that the Oakland A's will be on instead of us tomorrow. They promise that it will work out for everyone and that The Gray Area is not going anywhere. They also say that the A's are a good thing for the station and something they are behind.

We get a couple cars bitching about people cutting you off. Jim in Castro Valley is one of those people who will purposely block a fast driver from switching into the lane.

Brad brings up how he hates the driver who is slowing down and speeding up. They are unaware they are doing that, and although you are in cruise control, they think you are slowing them down. They get really angry at you and you are unable to explain your cruising state.

Boss in San Jose was in Germany driving a VW Golf. Another driver in a BMW started trying to pass him and he was having none of it. Because he was being so aggressive, Boss was unwilling to let him in. He races the Beamer for miles, even to wear he ended up missing his exit.

We speak to Lisa in SF who gets frustrated with the way SF drivers tend to be. She hates that the drivers here will be so aggressive in cutting you off, and then will slow down. Somehow this gets to the fact that she is able to do things with her toes, maybe like smoking. She thinks that women are better at this because men get too distracted by their units. What??

Our good friend Grace in SF calls in inebriated as ever. I don't really know where she is going on any of this, but she seems to be having a good time. Man, I hope she gets some rest tonight.

10pm: We really need to get to these Kirkwood tickets. But first, the guys have to read a story about Timothy Michael Seibert. He was in the middle of raping a woman when he answered a cell phone call from his wife. What was that guy thinking?

For the contest tonight we are going to do a different version of Celebrity Tag. This is the first name version, supposedly faster and more difficult. The rules are that we split into two teams. A celebrity is named and we have to keep naming other celebrities with the same first name. For example: Tom Jones - Tom Selleck- Tommy Lee- Lee Harvey Oswald, etc. The first team to miss loses.

John in San Jose wins tickets by picking Brad and I. The name is Steven and this game is really hard.

Wednesday, March 14th

Hey everyone. Are you as excited as I am that March Madness starts tomorrow? As happy as I am, I am really angry that my game is at 9:20 AM. And, because stupid Stanford plays at the same time, I have to go to a bar to watch it.

7pm: The guys start off by playing Chris Rock's appearance on Letterman. He was speaking about the death of Richard Jeni, and uses the death to plug his upcoming movie. What the hell is that about? That's incredibly disrespectful and uncool.

Chris did his taxes yesterday and of course had a bag of car receipts to deal with. He was able to somehow work getting $17 back from toothpaste. How does that work?

The guys read a story about an error on Google Earth. They had used an old name for a mountain that is pretty politically incorrect. They used the name Mt. Hitler for a summit in Germany. While reading the story, they play the German song they always do, and Brad goosesteps as always. The most disturbing part of this, is the absence of soul in his eyes. He really does look like a brainwashed soldier preparing for battle.

We play some celebrity tag and Chris and I win lift tickets to Kirkwood for Jared in SF. I think in the two rounds we play, Dan names one, maybe two, celebrities.

So, then we start our mascot pool. Already, Chris' Arizona Wildcats and my Maryland Terrapins are eliminated. We will post our Mascot Bracket when its done.

8pm: Bill in Danville is upset that we keep talking about the Arizona Wildcats. He went to ASU and his former father-in-law is the team physician for the Wildcats. He was dragged to all sorts of Wildcat events and is incredibly bitter. It is pretty funny listening to these two argue and to Brad being bored by this.

So, Chris is a little upset with me. I am running our office pool through one of the many fantasy websites. To give everyone the information, I sent out a mass email, hoping people would check it. As the guys were off yesterday they did not check it. When I came in today, I berated them, demanding that they sign up by the deadline tonight.

Chris goes off about how he was angry that I brought up the email. But the thing is, they read the email on the air on Monday night. Therefore, the email was received and read before I had said anything. So, screw that, I am cleared. Either way, I understand that Chris and Brad are upset by the assumption that an email will be read and responded to immediately.

When I respond, my point is simply this, they read the email I sent on Monday on the air. HAH! Therefore, it is on Chris, not on me.

Brad links this to the phone obligations. He says that people have that similar expectation when it comes to answering your phone or checking voicemail. As someone who never answers her phone or checks her voicemail, I can certainly sympathize with that.

Kevin in Fremont thinks it is more comparable to the post office. If someone sends you paper mail, it is not completely expected that you will get it. He only checks his personal email once a week. He takes a little heat but it does not seem to bother him a whole lot.

JT is Fremont is annoyed with her boss about email. He has a Blackberry and because of that expects responses within a minute or so. She is also annoyed because her boyfriend just got a Blackberry as well, and is completely addicted.

Frank in Livermore agrees with Chris' point that you should not be expected to check your email constantly. But, he also thinks that Chris' anger is arrogant as well.

9pm: Caller Robert brings up that he never checks his voicemail. Instead he will call the people back only to have them yell at him for not listening to it. I am completely guilty of that, I always let my voicemails build up until it is a huge pain to check it.

When Brad was working for the old station they had a voicemail. In the eight years he worked there, he checked the voicemail maybe twice because it is such a pain. The worst would be when he finally did and heard an urgent message from several months ago. Then, of course, he feels like a jerk.

Chris in Rohnert Park and Frank in Cupertino are frustrated with their company's email expectations. They are already working a full day and then are expected to be on email for another several hours.

What's funny is that both of them are hurt when there are no new messages in their email. That feels like crap because no one is thinking of you.

Bob in New Ganata brings up over email that brevity can be taken as an insult in an email. The guys ask if you have ever have taken a response the wrong way because it is terse. They say that as much as they like Jason, when they were still unsure about the show, his terse emails completely threw them off.

Dan lets us know that he spent a dollar on his dinner tonight. Of course, it was a Banquet meal. He got the turkey dinner and is hungrier than before he ate it. Brad had asked if it was pork, and I have to pull out that it would be "mechanically pulled pork." Chris says that if he eats the Banquet meals, he may be ready for the burrito bomb.

Brian in Oakland says that Marie Collander has good frozen dinners, but those don't count because they are too expensive. This leads us to a discussion of chicken pot pies. You always want to buy the cheap ones, but they are gross. And, as Brad points out, you will inevitably burn your mouth. It will always be that piece of meat that cauterizes your tongue.

This reminds Chris of a traumatizing incident in his childhood. When his parents were redoing the kitchen one year at Christmas, they set up a temporary situation in the basement. His grandmother had the responsibility of cooking traditional dinner including pierogies. The basement was cold, damp and horrible and she was incredibly angry to be down there for four days. The parents solution is to send the children to help her. They were stuck down there for about nine hours folding these little Polish dumplings, while his angry grandmother is hitting their tiny hands with spoons.

I can't believe we just spent twenty minutes on chicken pot pies. Well, it is The Gray Area so maybe I do understand.

10pm: We continue with the mascot bracket going to the West region this hour. Everyone picks Duke, but I hate them, so I refuse. And after that, we go to a giveaway. Before that, however, Angela in San Jose lets us know the Boston Market pot pie is awesome. I will have to go try out because it sounds delicious.

Ok, so Katie in Sebastapol calls in first and she and Joe in Hercules win lift tickets to Kirkwood. They win by picking Chris and Brad to defeat Dan and I in another round of Celebrity Tag.

Daniel in SF calls to correct us on Marquette's mascot. He is convinced that they are the Golden Gophers and goes on and on about it. But the thing is, Minnesota is the Gophers and Marquette is the Eagles. We even look it up and he still will not admit his mistake. And then, he calls Chris "pal."

We keep running with the mascot pool and I think we might be screwed. We have picked not one but two #1 seeds to fall in the first round. The thing is, a #1 seed has never lost in the first round since the field was expanded to sixty-five teams. But that's what happens when you have a Buckeye and a Tarheel playing a Blue Devil and a Colonel. Sorry to all you OSU and UNC fans out there.

To wrap up the show with an update on the death that occured in the complex Chris and Brad live in recently. The man had hit his head on the bathtub and was left dead in the apartment for three weeks. Yesterday, Chris found a flyer saying that they will be coming into everyone's apartment to check your unit. The reason they think is because they want to make sure there are no other corpses in the complex.

Chris' inspection came this afternoon. The only thing that really bothered him was that they were taking pictures of his things. He asked about the dead guy and they were surprised that he even knew about it.

So, with that we are done for the night. I apologize to my mother, have a good night.

Monday, March 12th

Hey everyone. Just to let you know, The Gray Area will be off tomorrow night as we our having our first A's night broadcast. We will be back Wednesday.

7pm: As Selection Sunday was yesterday, we start off talking about the brackets. Chris points out that there tends to be a trend. We all think Brad will win because he knows the least about college basketball. He has no loyalty issues that will affect Dan, Chris and I in our brackets. Also, we will be doing a mascot bracket.

If you haven't heard, in addition to Richard Jeni, Brad Delp from Boston died on Friday. The Richard Jeni thing is really sad. The story is that he shot himself in the face in the shower. His girlfriend apparently was in the other room.

We get a call from Joe in Livermore who must be on speed. He is calling about AC/DC and is talking incredibly fast. No matter what we say, he will not admit that he is on meth. Chris wonders why it is meth that eliminates culpability. Tweakers will never ever cop to their state of being.

Dan says that the reason tweakers won't admit it is because we all know it is only a matter of time before they are stealing from us. Then he asks Chris and Brad if they have ever slept with someone on meth. Dan says they cannot possibly concentrate on one act at a time, they are always wanting to do something new every other minute.

Joe in Livermore calls back to tell us why he won't admit that he is on meth. I think he says something comparing it to being a child molester?? He is speaking so quickly that it is kind of hard to understand. Before he even realizes it, while he is still talking, we go to break and turn off his volume.

Mindy, our wonderful webmistress, set up the Geek Argument poll on the homepage. This will be up for a little bit longer, so if you haven't, go ahead and vote. The guys go over the current results to wrap up the hour.

8pm: One of the arguments is Fruity Pebbles vs. Fruit Loops. This makes me wonder whatever happened to all of the cartoon cereal characters. You never see Count Chocula or Tony the Tiger anymore. I miss those guys.

After Dan mentions that he is creeped out by the Quaker Oats guy, Chris tells us that he eats regular oatmeal dry. That is horrible. Scott in Brentwood says the Quaker Oats guy is back on tv now. He says that they are making him like the Burger King king. That may be even creepier.

This devolves into a discussion of porridge, quail eggs, and Chinese supermarkets. I could not even begin to deliniate the conversation on the blog.

Megan in Walnut Creek calls to bring us back to the preferred hand conversation. Brad had said earlier that when "flying the simulator" he is ambidetrix. Chris tells us that he uses his non-dominant hand. I really wish I did not know any of this. Megan calls to say that her boyfriend is like Chris, asking why that phenomenon is the case. This leads Mike from Fairfield to tell us that the non-dominate hand is softer and more sensitive. This is gross.

I fortunately did not hear this, but apparently Brad asked Megan if she likes watching her boyfriend perform that. He had heard that a lot of women are turned on by that. Anna in Milbrae lets us know that she is all about that. She says that sometimes she is tired and just wants to go to sleep.

9pm: To start the hour, I bring us back to the NCAA tournament by informing Chris that his Arizona Wildcats are playing the Purdue Boilermakers instead of Kentucky. Purdue is a dangerous team this year. This of course leads us to a discussion of what Boilermakers are? Dan says their mascot is a train. Crazy ass Purdue.

When asking Brad who is tougher, the boilermaker or the wildcat, he correctly chooses boilermaker. Because, let's be honest, wildcats are really just big pussies. Of course, Chris has to bitch back at my comment, making fun of my wonderful Terrapins. We, playing Davidson, are playing yet another Wildcat team. There are too many damn teams called the Wildcats.

In talking about Richard Jeni, Chris brings up something I had said before the show. I said that I found it questionable that it was suicide. He supposedly shot himself in the face. I would think that he would put it in his mouth instead.

This somehow leads Chris to bring up that Ace is really into the crime shows. Despite being an incredibly sweet, empathetic woman, she is always watching these violent, horrifying programs. It confuses the hell out of Chris. He wonders which is the true side of her personality.

Brad is in a bit of a quandry right now. He is supposed to go to a movie with his daughter this weekend. They both want to see "300." Brad is concerned not about the violence in the movie, but whether or not there is sex. Dan and Chris question Brad's stand on this. Carlos in San Jose saw the movie and said that he thinks it will be ok.

Alex in Santa Clara said that he thought it was bad, but he is the only one. Everyone else keeps telling us how awesome it was. They all say it was action packed and that the effects were awesome.

10pm: Mike in Pacifica asks if Spartan men had sex with each other. Dan explains that in that society, when boys were teens, they were paired with an older man. That older man was their mentor and they were expected to have sex with them.

Chief in Redwood City is alone in thinking that the sex scene in "300" may be too graphic to watch with his daughter. He says it is kind of a long scene and may be uncomfortable for Brad.

The guys play a clip of William Wallace's speech in "Braveheart." This weekend I was arguing about the end of that movie. I thought Wallace was drawn and quartered at the end of the movie. My boyfriend says that you do not see that in the movie. Chris says that I was wrong. Dammit, I hope he is not listening.

The guys also briefly talk about the best man speeches in movies after this clip. Chris says that Pacino's speech in "Any Given Sunday" is supposed to be one of the best. The guys also mention Crowe's speech in "Gladiator" and Nicholson's in "A Few Good Men." Steve in San Jose thinks that you cannot have that discussion without mentioning George C. Scott in the opening scene of "Patton."

The guys were talking about the decision to give movies with smoking an "R" rating. Brock in Fremont calls in to say that he has recently quit smoking both crack and cigarettes. To him, as difficult as quitting crack was, cigarettes were far more difficult. That is really surprising. He also tells us that Denzel Washington's speech in "Training Day" is one of the best man speeches.

One of Brad's favorite speeches is actually from Shakespeare. It is the St. Crispin's Day speech in "Henry V." Brad tries to read it, but Chris has zero patience for it and keeps interrupting him with sound effects. Poor Brad.

To wrap up the show, the guys read a story about the Israeli Ambassador to El Salvador. He has been sent home in shame as he was caught naked with ball gag and bondage gear. Go Jews!!!!

Well, with that I apologize to my mother, have a good night.

Friday, March 9th

Hey everyone. Erica here again on this Friday night. Is it just me or are incredibly excited for the weekend.

7pm: Brad is really excited for a pen he has. He did not remember buying it and just one day had it. He finally looks at the inscription and notices that is the pen given to his mother for her retirement. That's not right that he stole that from his mother.

As both pens and sunglasses are things that you should not spend money on, because you will lose them, Chris asks which you are more willing to spend on? Brad says sunglasses, because they will make you look cool for the three weeks you have them.

Chris relates that to when he dies, he has a ton of questions. One of them is to ask why you always lose the expensive sunglasses and never lose the cheap ones?

A caller mentions sunglasses he found in SkyMall. I didn't know people actually buy things from those. Chris mentions that he loves SkyMall. That everytime he thinks it will be stupid, and then ends up reading the whole thing.

Alex is upset that he never bought the inflatable island. This is a big toy that floats in a pond, but it is around $400. Damn, that's expensive. He also wants The Lord of the Rings ring that they have.

Jason in Napa thinks that plane stories should be the tone tonight. He was flying a few days after someone was killed in turbulence. There was a lot of turbulence on his flight and he was hammered. The woman in front of him had never flown before. While they are dipping, he is cheering like on a rollercoaster and the poor novice flyer starts crying in fear. The flight attendant even asked him to apologize.

When Chris got his pilot's license, he was informed that he would have to ask women their weight. She will lie, and then you will have to ask her again. That must be incredibly awkward.

Sean in Berkeley calls about the maggots song, of course leading those sick bastards to play it again. I hate them so much. It's just not cool, although I have found that the Spy Hunter theme helps.

Elliott in Brooks has a son who was on a flight from Tahoe to SFO. The landing gear was frozen and wouldn't come out. They had to fly out over the ocean to dump fuel to do a belly landing. His son told him that all the adults were freaking out and all the kids thought it was cool. They actually had to use that crazy slide and all the kids were treating it like a ride.

8pm: Brad saw something pretty crazy today walking down Battery. He sees two men that are obviously homeless. With them is someone who looks like a much younger business man. They have a big bottle of gin and are completely sloshed. The young guy is completely ridiculous and eventually is just lying on the sidewalk. Some of the other bystanders call the ambulance to get some help. A fire truck and an ambulance came and eventually were able to wake him up.

So yesterday, we mentioned that a Burger King movie is coming out. Now to further Hollywood's pathetic nature, they are making a Chipmunks movie, starring Jason Lee. That's weird that they are doing that now.

Neither Brad nor Chris has seen Borat yet so he goes to Hollywood Video to rent it on Tuesday. There is an entire wall of the movie boxes, and it is completely out. He feels that seeing that wall is worse than just being told it is out. He went there again the next night and it was out again. But, both times he rented another movie instead, thus falling victim to their plan.

Brad points out that Chris is horrendous at returning videos. He thought that he was cured of it and then he rented the "House" dvds. He had it on the counter all ready to go and return it, but then his dog got sick. Of course, by the time he returned it, he owed them thirty bucks.

This leads perfectly into the topic of Lessons Never Learned. These are those things that you always do, that always lead to pain and sorrow. No matter how many times you tell yourself not to do it again, you always, always do.

But first, they have to read a story about a German man who was pretty upset about his divorce. He was so sick of fighting with his ex over the house, that he cut it in half and took his half off with a forklift. That is pretty damn creative.

For Brad, his lesson has to do with clipping his nails. Sometimes when you bite your nails, there leaves a little string of skin on the side of your finger. He knows that he should not pull it, but he always does. This of course, pulls far more than you want it to, leaving your finger in agony for two or three days.

Chris points out when you break your nail and you decide to tear it off instead of clipping it. The problem is, when you rip it, it never ends up being straight. So, the nail tears into that pink, fleshy part under your nail that should never be exposed and hurts immensely.

If you ever meet me, you might notice that I have about four scars in the same place of my left index finger. The reason is just one tasty breakfast food, the bagel. No matter how many times I cut myself, I always insist on cutting my bagel the same way. I turn it on its side, grab it by the base, and start sawing down the top. Inevitably, 3 of 10 times I cut my finger. Of course, I could put it down flat, pressing my hand on top. The problem with this is that the bagel always turns out uneven, therefore unacceptable. There are also the bagel guillotines, but those leave my bagel squishy and unhappy.

My hatred of the bagel guillotine leads them to talking about other unnecessary kitchen gadgets. This includes the banana hanger and the potato peeler glove, that is really just a weapon.

9pm: Brad mentioned learning mixing drinks. He always makes that mistake. Tad in Berkeley has the age old, "Beer before liquor, never sicker; liquor before beer, in the clear." But, Tad also has five other rules. No mixing beer and wine; purity saves hangovers; no American beer; stay away from anything German. That was only four. But, Tad is blasted so whatever.

Ben in Marin is a bartender. He says that the real rule is if you start with it, you should end with it. That goes for tequila, Jager, or whatever else you are drinking. The flaw is that if you are drinking Jager, you can't drink that all night. He also suggests Dramamine for a hangover. Carrie in SF backs this claim up. None of us had ever heard of that.

Brian in SF suggests drinking Fernet, but that stuff is nasty. He swears that there is no hangover with that.

Anonymous in SF works for an ambulance company. They decided to steal IVs to help them with hangovers. They did so and got blasted. When they tried to start the IVs, shockingly, they were unable to do it correctly. He said there were needles lying around everywhere.

Eric in Napa suggests drinking some NyQuil after a hard night of drinking. It is bad to do all the time, obviously, but you will sleep through the night.

Other Hangover Cures:

- Eating a raw potato
- A big breakfast
- Midol (coming from a guy?)

Chris says there are two keys for hangovers. One is to not swear you won't do it again. Two is to force yourself to throw up over and over again. It sucks, but it works.

Juliet in Marin says rubbing lemon under your armpits. She claims she read it in an article and tried it when she was really messed up. She says within five minutes she was fine and that it works every time.

10pm: We continue talking about hangovers. Is it bad that all of this is making me want to drink?

Of course we hear from Grace in SF on this one. She has certainly proved herself an expert in this area. She claims that Alka-Seltzer Cold Plus completely clears your heads. From what we hear from her now, she will be needing it tomorrow. They ask if she has a mixing rule, she pauses and eventually says no.

Denay in Pacifica says that you should have a big, greasy, sloppy hamburger when hungover. I have never done a burger but am a big fan of the big, greasy breakfast. Her husband suggests menudo, but that is disgusting and I won't eat it. No tripe for Erica.

To end this, John in Dixon says you should get a sleep apnea oxygen mask. Apparently, all that oxygen is perfect for hangovers.

With that, we are going to do a Friday Night replay. I apologize to my mother, have a good night.

Thursday, March 8th

Well, Maryland lost today, so I am a little cranky. Michigan State won, those lucky bastards. If you are into college b-ball, there is a pretty good article on both teams on ESPN.com.

7pm: To start the show on an odd note, the guys play some news audio of John Popper's bust. The Blues Traveler singer was busted for going 111 mph, having some weed, and 14 weapons in his car. Furthermore, he added flashing lights and a siren to his car so that he can get away in an emergency. What is going on with him? Do you think that having his stomach stapled affected his brain chemistry?

The guys have been trying to get to this topic for a few days now. They have noticed as they have lived in the Bay Area, how incredibly valuable are parking spaces. When they signed their contracts, their agent kept harping on the fact that they got parking spaces. They now understand what this means in this city. So, they ask, what would you give up to have an assigned parking space?

Brad talks about how a few times someone had stolen their spot in the basement. By the second time this happened, Brad was ready to go to war. They wanted to block him in, so they could find out who it was.

Travis in Palo Alto says that he almost never comes up to the city because of the parking situation. He just does not want to deal with the hassle. Dane in Concord feels the same way. Dane also bitches about how he has had to go to the restroom, and just could not find a spot.

Mary in Petaluma suggests that if someone takes your parking space, you should leave a note on their window with duct tape. They will get the message when spending two weeks trying to take it off.

Off subject, they are making a Burger King movie. Yes, like based on the creepy guy in the commercials. What the hell is that going to be about and who is going to see it?

Greg in Santa Rosa is a little extreme. He says he would put sugar in someone's gas tank if they stole his spot. That is pretty horrible. You should not destroy someone's car over parking. That's not cool.

8pm: Josh in Mountain View is a truck driver who says that he gets furious when a non-commercial vehicle parks in the loading zone spots. But, we get him to admit that he does double park, so we have no sympathy for him.

Frank in SF says that he lives in Forest Hill, a neighborhood that is not too bad for parking. There is an alley that only holds about four cars, with no restrictions. There is a neighbor who leaves notes telling you are selfish if you leave your car for more than two days. After he ignored the notes, they used some city ordinance to threaten to have him towed.

Donna in San Jose suggests putting stinky cheese on the engine when someone steals your space. Who just has that available?

Mary Ann in Sonoma says you should just pay someone who is handicapped for their placard. If you have the card, you can park anywhere and you do not have to pay for parking. Dumptruck in Kenwood says that it is a $750.00 fine if you get caught doing that.

Chris brings up that it is impossible to understand all the different colors of parking meters in the city. There are plain, red, green, white and yellow meters. It is insanely frustrating. The white are the worst. They are for parking with restricted times and half the time there are no signs explaining them.

Danny in San Jose has one of those obnoxious neighbors. The neighbor whose house he parked in front of, puts his trash right in the spot he parked in. When he parked there, the neighbor wrote on his window, asking him not to park there on Monday nights.

Joel in San Jose says that according to Mythbusters, putting sugar in the gas tank does not work. He says that if you want to do that (which you shouldn't), you should use bleach. He also says that he was alienated at work because he was able to get a parking permit right away.

The guys play the God awful maggot song again tonight. I really wish I never had to hear that again. However, if you would like to see the video, here it is. Proceed with caution my friends. This will get stuck in your head in a horrifying manner.

We got several emails from angry listeners. One even listened to "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" in order to get this out of his head.

We get a call from Grace in SF who called the other night. Last time we spoke to her, she was um... a little inebriated. She is a little embarrassed about her state in that call. Just to further embarrass her, they make her listen to the audio of her previous call. That's not nice at all. She says she had just gotten a promotion and was "celebrating" that night.

9pm: The guys read a story about a man in China hiring a stand-in mistress to take the brunt of his wife's abuse. He wants to protect his real mistress from the beatings, and thinks that hiring a stand-in is the best solution. How ridiculous is that? Even more ridiculous, ten people actually applied for the job.

The guys both love and hate "South Park." Usually you lean more to hating it, but last night saw an episode that they loved. I did not see it, but they took on the n-word. They said they thought that this really turned "South Park" around for them. So Brad wanted to see another one and used his On Demand. It was one where Cartmen ends up "milking" a dog.

Brad would not even tell me about that episode before, because he thought I would be offended. The thing is, I have seen it and thought it was hilarious. Yes, "South Park" is disgusting and vulgar. But you know what, it is f-ing fantastic.

The guys get annoyed because "South Park" is allowed to do whatever they want, while we are held to such strict rules. The basic reason is all about money. Because you pay for cable, especially premium channels, it is ok for shows like "South Park" and "The Sopranos" to use extensive vulgarity.

Chris and Brad also explain that there is Safe Harbor from the FCC at 10pm. But, they don't really explain what that is. So, CBS policy is that there is no Safe Harbor. They expect us to live up to the same decency standards before or after 10pm.

David in San Rafael says that the whole thing is ridiculous. When we say the "f-word" everyone knows what you mean. How is that really any better if the message is still being conveyed?

Scott in Fremont thinks that the content should be moderated by the advertisers. There should be the family channels and the filthy channels, each marketing their own ways. Tony in Fremont says that everything in this country is determined by money. The reason that Comedy Central can do the things they do, is because they are appeasing advertisers like "Girls Gone Wild."

I got pretty heated on this. I was explaining that for people my age, we grew up with scramblers. They were no parental locks so when our parents were out, we were able to watch anything and everything. Therefore, we have been pretty desensitized. Further, I say that "South Park" is a cartoon so that the dog red rocket scene is not as bad. There is no child involved in making that episode, so it is not as bad. Chris and Brad disagree saying that the message is still wrong. They think it is no more ok than if that was made for tv movie on Lifetime. For them, the idea in that was wrong.

10pm: Shelley in San Jose says that the she actually watched that episode with her children. She would rather have her kids watch with her than on her own. At least in this case she can put in her input. Brad says that that is not the only option. He thinks you can tell your children not to watch things like that.

Shelley is a little over the top. Her children were exposed to porn by a relative. Her response was to rent some porn with her so they could have her influence. I think that's a little overboard, Brad thinks that Shelley is a terrible mother for traumatizing her children that way.

We get an email from "White Rabbit." He says that what makes the shocking aspects of "South Park" so great, is the image of other people watching and being offended. That's the thing, the show is so over the top and ridiculous, that it is not as offensive.

So, in all this talk about censorship, we get to the FCC complaints from the Super Bowl. The FCC got a number of complaints about the Snickers commercial and Prince's phallic guitar. Thanks to The Smoking Gun for finding these.

They go over several, but this is my favorite one:

It was obscene to show Prince, a HOMOSEXUAL person through a sheet, as to show his siluette while his guitar showed a very phalic symbol coming from his below-midriff section. I am very offended and I would preffer not to have showed it to my 4 children who love football. One of them has hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay. I am actually considering to check him for HIV. Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY.

What, what, what, what, what????? That's amazing. That's how people become gay and get AIDS? I was completely mistaken in all of my understanding of biology and sexual orientation.

Here is another great one:

I find it highly unacceptable to have a family watching a sporting event only to find Prince stroking, manipulating and fondleing his guitar behind the curtain. This image only made him look extremely large which made the rest of us feel small, and unable to preform this evening.

HAH!!! I really hope that one was just a joke, because if someone filed that to the FCC with sincerity, our education system is even worse than I thought.

The most shocking part of this, is that supposedly with everything on tv, Prince and Snickers caused the most complaints to the FCC.

I have to point out that in all of these, not one person is able to spell. Thomas in San Jose thinks that these people are reading way more into this than what was there. That's for sure.

So, with that I apologize to my mother, have a good night.

Listener Matt's Purple Boobie

We received an email from listener Matt that deserves special consideration:

Check this out guys… I had to have a mass removed from my chest last week. After the first surgery, I ended up getting a blood clot the size of an eggplant! If it weren't for the pain, I think I would've kept this thing. Think about it, I'd have a Double-D boob for my left hand while my right is … well… doin' stuff.

4%'er

Matt

Wednesday, March 7th

Hey everyone. We have an inordinate amount of audio for you tonight, so the show should be pretty damn entertaining.

7pm: Last night the guys asked for the Ultimate Geek argument. They admit that they called the geeks to come out and call us. Of course, in the two hours and forty-five minutes we did this, they spoke to two girls. I'm surprised even two called. Of course, one was hammered, so I don't know how that fits in. Our wonderful webmistress Mindy will have the poll for this up tomorrow.

So, during the geek discussion, Magic vs Dungeons and Dragons came up. Of course, I had to bag on the kids who stayed in the library during lunch to play Magic. These kids were the biggest nerds imaginable. Evan in El Cerrito writes in to express his distress at my hatred of Magic. Of course, his email just plays right into my argument.

Clementine in Oakland dated a Magic player. They were living together and one of the things that precipitated their break up, was him blowing the rent money on a card for the game. Jacob in Suisson says he played Magic in high school in order to make friends. What an error in judgment that was.

Brad is ridding himself of a geek shirt that he has. It is an old Star Trek shirt with a blueprint of the Enterprise. It is from 1989 and far too small on him.

Throughout the night, we will be playing ads from 50 Greatest Local TV Commercials compiled by PhatPhree.com. First up, is for Stinky Septic, #48 on the list. Oh man, that is great jingle they have.

Shockingly, Amy in Fremont calls to defend Magic. I can't believe that we have a girl, no less a sorority girl, who played. She says it is like poker with special powers.

Todd asks us if we have ever seen Reefer Madness, so of course we have to play a clip.of it. Man, that movie is fantastic. The amazing part to me, is that the guy gets high his first time smoking the reefer.

In honor of Captain America's death, the guys play the awesome song "Captain America" by one of my favorite bands, MOE. Captain America was killed in the latest comic that came out yesterday. He was leaving the courthouse, when shot by a sniper in the shoulder and stomach. What does this mean for our country? Apparently, the sniper was a woman with whom Capt. America was romantically involved. Oh my!

8pm: Chris asks what it is about 13 year old girls and horses? All girls that age seem to go through a phase where they are absolutely obsessed. I think it all starts with My Little Ponies when we are little.

Who knew that cows can be carniverous? In India, chickens kept disappearing, leading everyone to think that it was neighborhood dogs. When they staked out the coop, they saw a calf gobble up the chickens. That's terrifying.

Kathleen in San Jose is upset with Chris for asking women to call. She says that she works with women all day, and that they are crazy. She does not want to hear them calling into the show. Although she says that I am not that feminine so I am ok. Kathleen also admits that she is one of those women in her thirties, who is still really into horses.

Rob in Santa Clara brings up Cal Worthington ads. I guess he is a dealership owner in Southern California, who always has animals with him named "Spot."

Next, we play the Mr. Appliance ad on this list. Chris points out that he has frosted his hair, because of his tv commercial stardom. This shows up at #44 on the list and is pretty wonderfully awful.

Wow, next up is Empire Carpets at #41. They pull out Darth Vader and the Marx Brothers all in one ad. How did they do that.

Kelly in Oakland wants to take us off topic. She is seeing her weekend supervisor, but also is dating other people. Last night, she was over at his house, having sex, when he dropped the L-word on her. She does not feel the same way, so she did not say that she did. Tonight, he calls her and says he cannot live without her. She has no interest in furthering the relationship at all. But, she has to work with him.

Neither of them are married and she still wants to have sex with him. She just does not want the pressure of his attachment. This guy does, however, seem pretty unstable based on the strength of his statements.

Kelly cannot walk away from this job as she is a single mother. Furthermore, she really loves her job. We all think she should probably not have sex with him anymore. When he begged her to see him tonight she told him to go away. He even showed up at her house and she pretended not to be home.

We wonder whether or not sexual harrassment comes into play. He is her supervisor and is putting her in a situation where she is uncomfortable at work. As Kelly continues to reveal things, she tells us that last night he refused to take her home after they had sex.

Dan in Los Altos thinks she should have never slept with him in the first place. It seems that this guy is unstable and she needs to cut off the relationship. He thinks she should be looking for another job if she can.

9pm: We continue with Kelly's problem this hour. The lines are banging on this, everyone has some advice for her. James in San Jose thinks we are being far too nice to her. She seems to have a pattern of unhealthy relationships. He asks where is her responsibility in this?

Tony in Stockton says run away. He had a friend's mother who was killed by the man in a similar situation. He thinks she should not only quit, but move.

Doug in San Jose thinks that she should end it, but that as of right now it is not sexual harrassment. Furthermore, once she does end it, she should keep a record of everything he does with her. He also thinks that someone from HR should sit with her when having a conversation about this with him. If she waits, he may give her poor performance reviews, which will compromise her credibility when dealing with HR.

Bruce in San Jose works in Human Resources. Basically, he agrees with Doug. He says that often a supervisor is banned from dating subordinates in these companies. This would mean that she would probably be transferred or rescheduled to avoid him.

Lisa in SF says she should just be emotionally distant when dealing with him. Lisa seems like she just gets really cold when she wants to get rid of a guy.

Kelly calls back to tell us that he just called her while we were talking about this. I think she is a little upset by some of the comments of our callers, although agrees with everything we are saying. She does not want to go down the sexual harrassment road. Brad agrees with a caller and tells her she should sit down with him and be honest.

Kelly reveals that she has only known him for two weeks. That changes things a lot and makes this guy a lot creepier. She says the reason for her promiscuity is that her ex refused to experiment in any way.

I have lost patience with Kelly at this point. She is unwilling to change her shift, to tell the manager or to sit down with him and cut it off. She wants to have her cake and eat it too, as the cliche goes. Enough Kelly, you entered into this relationship, it is time to suck it up and do something about it.

Coming back from break, the guys make me happy by playing one of the

Xavier in Napa has had enough as well. He thinks that she has some crazy in her and that we have given her more than enough advice. Elliott in Vallejo thinks so too and says we have been babying her. He says she messed up her job when she started to sleep with her boss.

Tim in Milbrae thinks she should lie, and make him not want her. She should say she has an STD or that he has a small penis. Chris thinks this is flawed because she must have already shown him that she was liking the sex.

We wrap things up with Kelly. She explains further why the sex was so bad in her previous relationship. She says that it was always the same and that she was bored. Once again, Kelly claims that she does not know how to let him down easy. I tell her again that she should just say, "Look, it's been fun, but I just got out of a 14 year relationship and I'm not ready for this. We should just end it now because you are getting too attached." She starts to whine again so we have to say goodbye.

10pm: This leads us to the general discussion of saying "I love you." It is just awful when you say it and it is not said back to you. Chris says that with Ace, she says "I love you" over and over on the phone. He has to say it back or things will be weird.

Brad says when he and T first said it. He said "I know that I love you" when he finally said it. Although neither he or Chris remember who said it first in their relationships, or the day it happened.

The guys found a statistic that 23% of all people in Beverly Hills are Iranian. I guessed Jewish, but that's probably a higher percentage.

Chris feels that he has been incredibly lucky in that all his neighbors in the building are really quiet. There is a fire extinguisher right outside his apartment, where he has kept a lighter. He has kept it there since he moved in, and now it is gone. So now, Chris is convinced that his neighbors are so quiet because they are all thieves. Hmm... think Chris is a little paranoid?

Ok, so we thought that the

Eastern Motors jingle is the song that will most get stuck in your head. But, Brad discovered a song that seems much more invasive. He got this from a European website showing a vignette of a children's show. This song is to explain flies to children. Wow this is really horrifying. I don't want to hear a song about maggot infestation. The hook is "Looking for a place to lay her maggots."

The guys go back to the bad commercials. They point out that mattress places and tire stores always have really bad ads. They talk about how life sucking being at a tire store is. It is interesting for about 10 minutes, which is hell when doing a four hour remote.

Tyler in Moraga has a solution to get songs out of your head. He cannot possibly get to the point and for that is thrown into the Pit of Mediocrity. Thank goodness, I had enough of Tyler.

To wrap up the show, we play a few more of the bad commercials from

The Ultimate Geek Argument

Here is a list of all of the Geek Arguments that came up last night. Which do you think is the Ultimate?? Do you think there are enough of them?

Xbox v. Playstation
Gandalf v. Yoda
Picard v. Kirk
Windows v. Mac
Star Trek v. Star Wars
Pirates v. Ninjas
Marvel Comics v. DC Comics
The Physics of the Star Trek/Wars Universes
Knight v. Bishop
The Borg v. The Gray Area Pit of Mediocrity
Chuck Norris v. Bruce Lee
Paintball v. Airsoft
Your left hand v. any inflatable love doll
The Force v. The Dark Side
What is the best MMORPG?
Data v. Spock
Fruit Loops v. Fruity Pebbles
Stallone v. Schwarzenegger
Blue Ray v. HDDVD
Game controller v. keyboard/mouse
City of Heroes v. City of Villains
Deep Space 9 v. Babylon 5
Stormtroopers v. Star Trek “redshirts”
Superman v. Batman
Avengers v. X-men
Tom Servo v. Crow
Deep Blue 2 v. Karpov
Magic the Gathering v. DnD
King v. Godzilla
AMD v. Pentium
Nvidia v. ATi/AMD
Borg v. Stargate SG-1 Replicators
Firefox v. IE

Tuesday, March 6th

Hey everyone. Hope you are all having a lovely Tuesday. Only two more days until the big conference tournaments. Woohoo. For all of you who hate Duke, here is a great article from ESPN's Page Two.

7pm: Haha. Scooter Libby got convicted and will probably be going to Federal Prison. HAHAHAHA. The guys are concerned more with the fact that he will always be known as "Scooter" and never by his given name.

Al from Oakland has made us proud. Al used our new favorite creepy expression "little boy" on someone. He was in the men's room of a restaurant, handed someone a paper towel, and said, "Would you like a paper towel... little boy?" Oh man, that is absolutely perfect. Way to go Al. All of you out there should follow Al's example and creep strangers out.

The guys went for a walk/meeting with our Program Director, Jason, earlier this evening. When the elevator opened, on their way back, they came upon a hippie girl on the floor of the elevator. She did not look homeless, but certainly pretty out of it. All of her possessions were strewn about and she looked utterly disoriented.

Brad thought that maybe she had dropped her stuff, Chris and Jason thought she had snuck into the building. They all were sure that she was pretty high. She claims that the reason she is doing this, is because she is looking for her security card for the building. Further, she seems completely oblivious to the situation. Apparently she actually does work here, as Jason starting questioning her.

Coming back, we play a clip of Henry Rollins writing a letter to that crazy bitch, Ann Coulter. They would be a perfect pairing, as he is just as insane as she is. If you would like to see the video, here you go.

Jonathan in Marin calls to set the tone. His old college girlfriend emailed him recently out of the blue, telling him about a recent promotion. He was surprised by hearing from her, and wants to know if other people check up on their exes.

Chris says he has not done a lot of checking up on exes, except for one girl. She did not show up on Google, fascinating him. It was not so much her that interested him, but the fact that she was not on the Internet.

Brad says there is one woman from his past that looks him up about every three years. They had broken up on pretty good terms, so this is less strange. The second time she contacted him, years ago, she went as far as calling his mother to be able to wish him a happy birthday. He was already with T at this point, and this kinda freaked him out.

Big Paul in Sunnyvale says that he finally found an ex on Google after trying for years. He was surprised to see all of her success, and decided to send her an email. She was married and they emailed for a while, until she recently shut down her email and disappeared. It sounds like she just wanted to get rid of him and was too nice to say so.

Jeff in Campbell had a pretty messed-up story. He Googled an ex of his only to find out she died while skydiving. That is awful. Of course, that leads us back to the discussion of which is more wrong, sex with a girl in a coma or with a dead girl? These guys are sick.

8pm: Bob in Concord won almost 3 million dollars in Vegas in a nickel machine. After this happened, he says all his exes came out of the woodwork. He says one even offered to have sex with him for money. That is ridiculous.

The guys really want to know what he did with the money. He says he bought a BMW and saw a financial advisor. Bob is actually being smart and organized his money so that he was able to retire.

Josh in Santa Cruz says he has had more exes stalk him than he can count. One called him up asking to help her commit credit card fraud. He keeps going but falls into the Pit of Mediocrity. It is always sad when it is someone who has been waiting for 30 minutes.

We wonder if Jonathan can be credited with a sack, as the phones died on this topic and the last call went into the Pit. After some discussion, we decide that it cannot be a sack. It just was not quite strong enough.

Brad and Chris both live in Pacifica. Brad for the first time has heard of Devil's Slide, which is right near them. If you remember, last year around this time, Devil's Slide closed the 1 for months. To cancel out this terrible news, Brad looked out today, and saw dolphins frolicking in the sea. I would say there is no way that does not win.

Brad freely admits that he is the bigger geek of the two of them. He proves this by asking, who is superior: James T. Kirk or Jean Luc Piccard? But the real question is, what is the ultimate geek argument?

Brad brings up, Gandolf vs. Yoda? This leads to the discussion of what is stronger: Magic or the Force? Brad tries to explain the depth of this argument, saying "couples break up." To which I reply, "what couples fight over that?" No girl would ever be in that argument.

I would have a lot more to say about this, but um... I am a chick. Therefore, I cannot relate to anything in this discussion.

Geek Topics By Callers:

- Star Trek vs. Star Wars
- Pirates vs. Ninjas
- Marvel vs. DC Comics

Well, to prove me wrong, Grace in San Francisco calls in as a girl geek. She says something shocking and compares Shatner to Leykis. I could not have expected that less. She also tells us that she was Darth Vader for Halloween. She was so nervous, it is actually really cute.

9pm: To my dismay, we continue with the Ultimate Geek Argument conversation. The topic is doing great, so I can't hate on that. Brad admits that he tried not to, but he knows all the names of the episodes of Star Trek. Chris points out that a lot of Trekkies know all the old episode names, but not those of "Next Generation."

More Listener Contributions:

- Physics arguments about Star Trek or Star Wars
- A Knight vs a Bishop
- Who shot first: Hans Solo or Greedo? (What's a Greedo?)
- Chuck Norris vs. Bruce Lee
- Who is smarter: Data or Spock?
- What is the best online Role Playing Game? (Oh man, soooo nerdy)
- PC vs Mac again, I throw in Linux

When I threw in Linux, I thought I would sound really smart. Then the caller completely trumped me, speaking in technical terms. Ok, I feel completely stupid now and am going to turn of my mic.

Carlos in San Jose says his favorite geek argument is listening to D and D people arguing over their battle. He happened upon one and skipped class in order to keep listening. This brings me to ask, which is geekier: D and D or Magic? The kids in my high school who ate lunch in the library to play Magic were pretty damn geeky.

10pm: Alan in SF brings up that there are Natural Born Geeks and Self-Made Geeks. I think he is referring to the freak show people. The call made Chris and Brad completely uncomfortable.

Geek Arguments This Hour:

- Video Formats (Beta vs VHS or Blue Ray vs HDDVD)
- Controllers vs. Mouse and Keyboard (This leads to Brad and Vince discussing this extensively)
- City of Heroes vs. City of Villians
- Borg Cube vs. the Death Star
- Frankenstein vs. Wolfman vs Dracula

To Kevin in Richmond, who brought up Borg Cube and Death Star, I apologize. I was holding back on this, but as he kept going, I had to ask how his mother's basement is treating him? I really tried to stay nice and I just couldn't do it.

More Arguments:

- Deep Space 9 vs Babylon 5
- Old vs New Battlestar Galactica
- Storm Troopers vs Red Shirts
- Avengers vs X-Men

After the guys point out that they have not spoken to a girl in an hour and a half, Katie in Sebastapol calls in. She says that she has been listening, but only in laughing at the callers. This is what I expected. There are not a whole lot of girls who will call about Star Trek or comic books. Brad is stoked because Katie admits that the Three Stooges are humorous.

Chris points out that the interracial kiss on Star Trek gets a lot of credit for being the first on network tv. He wonders how this plays as quite often the red shirts that get killed off are black. Do these cancel each other out?

Zack in Santa Clara finally brings up Batman vs. Superman. I was wondering when this would finally come up. Zack says that Batman would win. Apparently in a comic, Batman fought Superman in a kryptonite suit. Batman almost won until he had a heart attack to fake his death. Batman can't have a heart attack.

Daniel in San Jose goes very philosophical on us. He says that this topic in itself is the geekiest argument. Will the station implode as this has been pointed out?

Chris in San Jose wants to know if he and other listeners will be able to vote on this. We will try and set something up on the website to do so. Please feel free to leave comments on what you think and I will pass them along.

Brad says the argument that struck him closest to home is controller vs. keyboard and mouse for gaming.

Chris, Brad and Bob from Walnut Creek all say they were beaten with a Hot Wheels track as a kid. What the hell? That's awful. Bob also asks which was better, Hot Wheels or Matchbox cars?

And with that, the show is done. I apologize to my mother, have a good night.